Single Mom and Illness

Happy mother's day!! I do not have MS, but I I have two family members and freinds who do. My cousin's son is now almost 18, but she was diagnosed shortly after having him. I know there were days that were really tough on her, but at one point I know she was actually to find help through the state with things like cleaning her home and the such. That was a long time ago obviously so things may have changed, but I also know it got easier as her son got bigger too. You may also know about this website already but I am going to send you the link http://www.msillinois.org/site/PageServer?pagename=msgsit.... Also, I have a dear friend who has found out about so many different programs to help her out with various things. My sister and I also have a freind who has young son (11 months) who fortunately so far seems to feel okay after having the baby...always a little tired, but says it's hard for her to gage since all moomy's tend to be exhausted. I beleive our friend also switche dfrom Avonex to Beta Seron after having the baby as well. I hope this helps and hang in.

Hi C.,
I was diangosed with MS 10 years ago, had my son 7 years ago and remember the non-stop action of a toddler, not to mention you are the single parent. I am getting over a relapse and trying to explain to a 7 year old is difficult, a toddler does not get it. I have told my son about mommy's MS, that's why her legs are weak and I need a "walking stick" I refuse to use the word cane. As your little one gets older all you can do is mention it, like when I couldn't ride a bike. I don't obsess over it with my son, because I am able to do alot of other things!!
As others have mentioned TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! This was difficult for me, asking for help. If you have family, friends, neighbors reach out to them for help. I was divorced when my son was 2 so I know what it is to be a single mom with MS. I also am on disability, so I am not dealing with an outside full-time job, parenting is so more full-time!
Feel free to e-mail me with questions, to vent or just touch base. I also love to read and be outside, now that the weather is cooperating.
Good luck, I will send you happy, healing thoughts.
J.

I was diagnosed with probable MS. My doctor said it is more than likely benign, whatever that means. I live a normal life. I workout 4 times a week doing kickboxing and I am also a vegan. I think that maybe my lifestyle has helped me somewhat. I have a 4 year old daughter. I was diagnosed when I was 12 weeks pregnant with her.

If you want to talk, send me a message!

Hi C.,

I do not have MS, my younger sister does. I am very active in the MS Society because of that. How have you been feeling? What stage are you at? do you take medication? I don't know where you live, but I would be happy to help out. I am a single mom with a 6 and 3 year old. Let me know if there is anything I can do..... D.

C.

Do you have friends? Do you have family?

It is time to start being honest with yourself, your child family and friends. You are sick. You cannot do everything any more. Your child must be told you are sick and need your childs help. You have to conserve your energy for the most important things. Big example is your job.

I have a brain anominally (spelling). Everyone wants me to change jobs. Our boss has lowered our pay by 10%. I have no health insurance. I am so upset because I can no longer pay the bills that I am having seisures. I have not had any for a year. This means I cannot do house work or yard work. I have two houses and two yards to help with, mine and my mother's place. My mother is ill and cannot help me. I have no friends because my ex-husband drove them away. I do not feel sorry for myself. I am sick and can only do what I have energy for. I have become a losey Mother. Every week the teacher reminds me. This week because my son had strep throat and missed two days I got a lecture on how he had to catch up on his math. I think his health is more important then what he missed. I tend to let other people run my life because I am to nice. No does not work with most of the people I know. They are leaches.

I would start a list of what is very important to spend your energy on.
Meals
Laundry
Work
Homework
Cleaning
Etc
Ask friends, social workers, organizations etc for help. You can no longer do it yourself.

I am alone. My husband left me. He will NEVER know that I am sick. If he knew he would use it to steal money from people claiming it was for me. I will and can do it all myself because I force myself to do it. I just have to nap a lot. I do not feel sorry for myself because this is one more step in my crazy health issues. Feeling sorry for myself would be a waste of my energy. I need all I have for the impossible to get done. I will be job hurting to stressful a task. Who knows maybe it will pay off.

Choose how to use your energy wisely. I will pray for you.

I have had MS since 2002 and have 3 children. It is very difficult I know. The only thing I have found that works is when the kids rest SO DO I!! If you just take 15-30 minutes to lay on the couch and truly rest, that means no phone, no tv, perhaps just reading a book, helps me out a lot. Just that little rest period seems to regenerate me. I have to actually slow my mind down to obtain the rest that I am looking for. That's why I usually just read a book while laying on the couch. Make sure you take your Neurontin and Ultram, that's what I'm on and they really help. If they aren't working you may need to increase your dose, I had to. Please feel free to email me any time if you want to talk!!
Barb R.

Hi C.,
I have MS, dx in 2000 when my son was 7. He too was very active at the time and even now at 15 keeps me busy. Seems as if you have a very active lifestyle which is great have as long as it is not adding stress to your mind. I was very active and was already working for 17 years and continued to work for 5 years after dx but am now on disability for the many challenges MS presents. I am not in wheelchair nor do I use any type of assistance but do know challenges are different and unpredictable on a daily basis. Everyone with MS is different and I wish I could offer you the world but can only say that there are many small bouts of help out there. For instance, family, friends and even within your community there may be someone that would be willing to take your child for a few hours in an effort to allow you short breaks. Not sure if you are taking the prescribed MS drugs or if you are actively working but with MS there is so much to weigh out and only you can do this (ie. Getting enough rest, eating well, not stressing out etc). Send me a note if you have any questions, comments or if you just want to talk on the phone. I too love to read and write. Take Care and best wishes for you to get what you need to handle the situation with minimal stress.
Cindy (C.)

my mom has MS and she was in a wheelchair by the time I was 3. I'm not sure how she dealt with it. I remember spending alot of time doing things by myself or for myself. My daughter's father's mom ALSO has MS. She has always been able to walk, but these days she needs a walker. she was able to do everything with her kids just fine.

everyone's MS is different. How is yours? Are you still walking?

btw...even though my mom was not able to do as much for me when i was growing up...i loved and still do to pieces. I just wanted to say that because my first paragraph looked sad. My mom rules.

Also...just as everyone else says...REST. my mom relied a bunch on my brother and i to help her. My dad was not around much, but she did a great job.

Not sure what meds you are on...but my mom gets steroid injections from time to time.

Don't be afraid to let your child know about your illness. I always knew what what going on. Always. It made things normal that my parents didn't sugarcoat it.

Dear C.:
I don't know if this would help you, but I have been a distributor for a nutrition products company for about 4 years now. I never did well with the sales part so stopped selling or even trying to sell but have observed considerably better health for myself and heard a lot of really impressive storeies about the benefits to children when consuming these products. Somehow optimum nutrition seems to balance out the body and improve all kinds of stuff. I would never make medical claims and would never do a hard sell to anyone but would really think it is worth looking at. If you can get away from the hipe, you could find some very good nutritional products. Best to you and the baby. S.