Ah, I thought I had coined the term married single mom! I was recently married in September 2007 after my first husband passed away. I have two children of my own - boy age 4 and girl age 7. He has three children - boy age 10 and twin boys age 8. I live in Indianapolis and he lives in Illinois - about 90 minutes away. We only get to see each other on weekends, and every other weekend there is quite a bit of driving since he has to take his kids to see their mom.
One of the ways we andle it is that we have a scheduled time to talk each night. we spend part of it discussing issues of the day, and part of it working on us as a couple. We have picked several books to work through - 5 Love Languages, 1001 Questions for Couples, Making Your Second Marriage Work, books about raising blended families and we talk about them. We also just each got journals that we write things in and share. We start off each day with a quick phone call and email too - the call initiated by me and the email by him.
On weekends, we try to divide up responsibilities for cooking and cleaning and making sure we have alone couple time. Or sometimes we each are "responsible" for planning a night - I'll do Friday and he'll do Saturday. You really have to plan to have time to yourself - get a babysitter or grandma or someone to talk the kids for a bit.
My mom and dad also do this - my dad does consulting in another state. I know how small those B&B with no kitchen are! But you either need to see if he can spend a bit more $$ on something bigger that can accommodate you, him and your duaghter when you visit (or just you and him) - and also see if you have some opportunity to visit alone. If he gets a bigger place, then maybe you can spend some longer time there if you only work one day a week.
Finally, it is important to get yourself on a schedule and when you are on your own to have time for just you - whether it be a mom's day out program or something so that you have a bit of sanity as well!
Hoep this helps in some way, but realize you are not alone. Feel free to contact me at anytime to vent with another married single mom!
K. Skinner