SIL Visiting / I'm Not Big Fan of Drama.

Personally, if it were me and I thought there would be a lot of drama around my kids, then I would want to be there so I know what my kids are observing and being exposed to.

Aside from that, it sounds like this is a once a year or twice a year kind of thing. And sort of falls under the "for better or worse" clause... just suck it up. You don't have to spend the whole day. It almost sounds as if staying home will create MORE drama, which you don't like. Just go and get it over with.

How often do you see her and her kids?
If you just saw her in the last few months, then maybe you can be doing something else this time around.
But if you haven't seen her in awhile it might be good to touch base, say 'Hi!' to the nieces/nephews.
When's the next time a visit is likely to be possible? Summer? Thanksgiving?
If it's only once or twice a year then you can get through it.
Remark how the kids have grown, how are they doing in school, if she gets dramatic you can respond with 'Oh my!' and/or 'That sounds terrible!' and let her ramble on.
She's visiting with other relatives too, so her focus won't be all on you.

I'd go.
It's his sister.
It's a few hours.
To NOT go is only going to make this relationship weaker.
Look on the sunny side--they're not staying at your house!

i'd rather be there to keep an eye on my kids and hubby. from the beginning of your post i thought you were going to say "has texted my husband a week notice that her and her family of 5....will be visiting our home". be grateful it's not that! this is what, at worst a couple of hours of plastering a smile on and taking the high road? it's not about you...it's about family. perhaps hubby and the kids would benefit from this visit. i think we suck it up for family when required. this is nothing. i would not enjoy it. but i'd do it.

The fact that she lives in a different state and is willing to drive to within an hour of where you live, but not the extra time to make it all the way to your house probably indicates that she feels uncomfortable as well. Probably she would like to meet somewhere neutral for a limited time to make sure that family touches base, but there is not an extended length of time for people to get on each other's nerves.

I would drive the hour-meet late morning timeframe, spend a few hours with them so your husband can see his sister, and your kids can see their cousins, put on a smile, and then get back in your car and head home. If there is gossip/drama-get up to help with the kids or food, etc. Unless she directly gets in your face and starts yelling, drama in such short periods of time can be easily avoided, and this way-no additional drama is created from your absence.

It can definitely be stressful, but it sounds like the circumstances might actually be doing you a favor. Good luck!

If he wants you to go and you haven't spent any time with her recently, I'd go and just be civil. Don't engage her just the niceties - How are you, how are the kids, they're getting so big, etc... If you're only going to see her for a few hours and you can maintain family order, I'd go. You don't have to like her, just tolerate her.

Thank goodness she doesn't want to stay with you. I have a SIL who comes down once or twice a year, and all she and her kids do the whole time is text people from back home. AND they stay 2 weeks. AND if you say anything to her about it, she gives you the evil silent treatment (in MY home). It's ridiculous.

Good luck!

Just a question, but wouldn't it create more drama if you didn't show up? If you can be civil, just go and don't get pulled into her stuff. You can do what I do in situations like this: be the 'kid-focused' parent and let your husband do most of the visiting. A three year old can be a great distraction.

What does your husband think of your idea? Unless we are missing some information, unless this woman has been horrible and mean directly to you in the past and your husband has had to address it with her, I would take the high road. It's ONE day.

Does he want you to go? Will it cause problems for him if you don't? If you can honestly answer to these questions in a way that doesn't hurt your husband, then I don't see why you can't stay at home. But if he is hurt by this, or is not in favor of having to take care of the kids and deal with his sister and her clan all by himself, bite the bullet.

Yes, you should help your husband coordinate a visit with his sister's family and yours.

Make this day about your DH and kids. They deserve to see their sister and cousins. Do what you have to to make it a nice day for everyone. Ignore drama and keep your inner peace, add a smile to your face and even have a good time for a few hours.If you can do that, do go. If not, then just stay home because it will harm everyone if you are negative. You can't change your SIL's behavior, but you do have control over your own reactions to her.

Make is a family day and enjoy. Sometimes in life, we must do things we are not thrilled about, but we do them. I am sure the kids will have a blast.
Cousins have a special relationship. Let them enjoy. Have a good time.

Go but don't listen. Find a way to be busy, either with the kids, or food or other project. If you get up and leave the room when gossip starts, they will get what you are about. if you aren't there, then you will be the subject and that's not what you want to be for your kids and H's sake.

I wish I had done that with my mil.

I hope by now your Husband knows... you and she are not besties????
By now, he should know that.
Inevitably... one of you will be the more civil or mannered one.
My guess is, this is you. Not, her.
So, ask your Husband if you have to... go.
Or can he just take the kids with him?

It's just one day. Now, if she said she was coming for a week and staying with you, then you'd have something to complain about. You can handle it - and it will probably make your hubby happy to see is sister!

And I know how SIL can be..... :(

I think you have an appointment with yourself for the day, so help hubby pack up the kids and let him enjoy the time with his sister! As long as he's okay with it, I'm sure it will be more comfortable for everyone.

You go enjoy some "me" time!

You might enjoy the day in spite of yourself. ;-) I would go. It's ONE DAY.