The red bumps on her cheeks sound like hormones. She is still working your hormones from pregnancy out of her system, and it will appear as baby acne, they may turn white, or they may stay red, but they will go awya on thier own, don't bother them at all, other than keeping them clean by rinsing with clean water at bath time.
As for the fussiness, I'm guessing you have a very fast letdown. When she latches and you letdown, does she gulp, your milk spray out, its dribbling out of her mouth, or she unlatches and gasps for air? If your milk literally sprays out when you let down, then she is getting gassy, too much foremilk, because of the massive letdown.
What do her diapers look like? They should be yellow and seedy looking, that means she is getting enough hindmilk. However if they are mucousy, green and stringy like wet lettuce, the nshe is getting too much foremilk and this will cause an upset stomach, gas, and pain in her tummy.
When she latches, let her nurse until letdown, then unlatch her. Catch the major spray of your letdown in a towel or burp rag. When it slows to a 'trickle', relatch her nad let her nurse on ONE BREAST ONLY per feeding. No need to switch back and forth, that is an old myth that needs to be dispelled, one breast per feeding ensures she gets all the fatty hindmilk she needs, and she will be totally satisfied with one breast, she'll get the foremilk to quench her thirst, and the hindmilk contains all the fat and nutrients she needs to grow and remain full.
Your letdown will slow by 3-4mos, and she'll also get better at keeping up. you don't want to pump through your letdown, this signals your body to continue making that much milk as its being stimulated during the letdown. By allowing the milk to spray out without being stimulated, it signals your body to slow the letdown naturally.
So just remember to nurse her on demand, only one breast per nursing session (and switch to the other one for the next nursing session, use a stretchy bracelet to remind you which breast is next), and during letdown, unlatch her so she doens't 'drown' in your letdown spray, and let it spray into a towel or burp rag. You may not have had this 'problem' with your son, as your milk production increases by about 30% with each child!
Lactose intolerance in babies is extremely rare, and if your daughter was truly lactose intolerant she would be very sick, not gaining, and you probably wouldn't have left the hospital nursing.... she would have been sick from your milk right away. Just because your husband has it doesn't mean anything, children rarely have true lactose intolerance. Trying the things I suggested will greatly help her, and you.
