Sick and Refusing to Drink, Mother-in-law Causing Problems

Updated on January 16, 2007
S.S. asks from Plumtree, NC
14 answers

My 16month old was hospitalized over the weekend with dehydration due to the flu and stomach virus. She was there for 3 days and received 2 1/2 bags of IV fluid. She was doing better on Sunday and we brought her home that evening. That night she was practically begging for something to drink all through the night. She drank so much she threw up twice. Yesterday morning she was drinking really well and then all of a sudden she was refusing to drink anything. So it's going on 24hrs now that the only fluid she has had is what I have forced down her with a syringe. And she fights me when I do that. She is active, she is eating, she is not lethargic, she is not lifeless, she is fussy. I have called her doctor and discussed this with him and he said if she got lethargic again he would re-admit her to the hospital but to keep on pushing fluids. Now, the part that has made me so mad and so upset. My mother-in-law has been calling my husband at work and telling him that I am letting my daughter lay around and get worse and that if she were her child she take her to the ER immediately and demand she get re-admitted. She is telling him that my daughter is lifeless and that I'm not doing anything about it. My mother-in-law by the way is at work. She hasn't even seen my daughter today. So my husband calls me all upset and crying and jumps all over me. I am a nurse and I do have enough sense to know if my daughter needs to go back to the hospital. What should I do!!!! I am at my breaking point. Any suggestions on how to encourage my daughter to drink and how to handle my mother-in-law would be helpful.

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So What Happened?

Hey everyone! thanks for the advice! My daughter is home and doing much better. However, she did get a second hospitalization and more IV fluids. On the evening I wrote the request she took a turn for the worse. My mother-in-law realized how upset she made me and apoligized. She cried on my shoulder and said that if her mother-in-law had of ever said the things she said, she would have "cut a shine" on her. So things are better. Thank God my daughter is better and drinking well.

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R.K.

answers from Raleigh on

I agree with everyone else. Those pedialyte pops are great. My son gets really sick often and has been hospitalized for dehydration so I completely understand.

As far as the MIL Just tell her to butt out. You are doing everything right and you have consulted the doctor.

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A.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

What about trying ice pops, flavored water, kool aid, gatorade...even jello or yogurt or ice cream. Something with a really good flavor that will catch her attention. I know the age is the tough one. You may have to get a special sip cup or emphasize Mommy likes...slurp slurp yum yum... know what I mean?
As far as MIL (sorry)...LIE! This is your kid-you know what you are doing. Being a new mom is tough enough without having someone like that on your shoulders. Good Luck!
YOU are doing a wonderful job!! :)

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

How about juicy fruits like water melon. Your husband needs to get a backbone and straighten out that situation with his mom. He should be upset that she called him under false alarms and upset him like that.

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J.M.

answers from Charlotte on

I agree with everyone else with the popsicles and freezy pops. And the MIL first tell your husband to tell her to butt out, it's his mom his job. If that doesn't work or if you don't want to have him do it call her yourself. Tell her that this is not her child hers are grown and that it's your job to take care of your daughter not hers. Hope she gets well soon and good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Raleigh on

AS far as the refusing fluids, I agree with the other moms. Pediapops or something she thinks is a treat. (Trick her into thinking its not good for her...sort like candy LOL) With your MIL, I'd say to your husband. Why don't you come home and see how your daughter is acting? Granted grandparents tend to overreact to things but this is not your fault. I'm sure your daughter is not lying there lifeless with you sitting at the computer. You keep doing what you're doing. You've called the doc, she's still eating, if it gets any worse, you know what to do. When she gets over this, maybe grandma will chill out a bit. You just keep doing a GREAT job. You know what you're supposed to do and when you need to do it. You're doing the best you can for your little girl. Keep it up!

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T.P.

answers from Charlotte on

If she is eating fine and just doesn't want fluids why not try the frozen pediapops? That's how I got my son to take in fluids anytime he was sick and wouldn't eat and also a great way to get fluids in infants/toddlers if they are teething and can't stand to suck on a bottle or cup. If there is fever the cold will also help with that. You can't lose. You can get the pops in a box at drug stores or on the baby isle of the grocery store. Freeze them and half them or give her a whole one.

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T.T.

answers from Wilmington on

When my son was little he got the stomach flu and we had the same problem. He got so dehydrated that he looked like he was dying and we rushed him to the emergency room. They gave him a pedialite popcycle because they didn't want to put someone so little through getting an IV. I immediately bought more and that is how we kept him hydrated. They have to eat it slower because it is so cold so it is easier for the stomach to tolerate and to them it seems like a treat because it is a popcycle. I hope this works for your little one. Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from Greensboro on

I would say try the pops...sounds lke a good idea. And as far as MIL...I would call her up, and confront her. Tell her that you would appreciate it if she would stop running her mouth behind your back, and if she has something to say, to say it to you. If she has something to say about that, tell her what goes on in your house is none of her business, and to mind her own. Then, I would sit my hubby down, and tell him that if he wants to spend the rest of his life tied to mommy's apron strings...then go live with her. He needs to support you...and if it comes down to it, should always be on your side. You need him to back you up. He should have talked to you about it first, instead of just assuming his mother was right. Don't let him run you down like that! You sound like you're doing a great job....keep it up! No matter what they say! You have to stand your ground, and not let anyone come into your family and ruin it. You know what's best for that child. Trust your instincts!
Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Raleigh on

At this point, it's more about getting the fluids into her.

Jello is considered a liquid (You know that from the I&O Sheets!)

Also, if it's a teething problem, you can do double duty by giving her frozen juice pops!

I bet you can even freeze Pediasure® into popsickles.

Is she eating solids?

My daughter had a problem for a while. Enlarged "kissing" tonsils. Stuff would get "stuck" on them when she ate, causing her to gag. It took a while and a lot of experimenting to see what she could tolerate.

As for your Mother-in-law...(where do you think all those jokes come from?!) INVITE her to come help you feed her!
She is no doubt feeling insecure about the whole thing.
Let her SEE how you ARE ahndling things. It may help.

I know...helping HER to feel more secure SEEMS like it's eating away at your credibility...but in the long run, you'll be showing her that you "respect her opinions". Then, when she goes home, you can resume your normal life. (grin)

It's GOT to be better than mid-day panic calls!

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C.T.

answers from Norfolk on

Pediatlyte even Walmart Brand half price is excellent when they are dehydrated...they need the electrolytes back you can wash out all your sodium can pass out and worse...replenish lost minerals with pedialyte way better...cold with ice my God daughter loves it.

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D.

answers from Charleston on

Dear S., I agree with every other mom on here .Try the ice pops ect.. You are doing everything wonderful. Your Mil needs to stay out of it. If your husband needs to know she is doing fine then he can come home to see her and not listen to his mom. Children do not come with a handbook. You are doing fine. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

S.,
Everyone here has given excellant advice as far as the Pedialyte pops, you could also try getting her a cool cup with a spiral straw, I've seen kids who won't drink anything drink from a straw that did something interesting. You could do Gatorade in a cup with ice and a straw that curls around and around or you could freeze the Gatorade or Pedialyte in and ice tray and have her pick the cubes she wants when they're frozen. I hope she gets to feeling better soon. as for the mother in law this may sound mean but ask her what her profession is and then tell her that yours is taking care of sick people, that it's your job and if she doesn't feel like you're qualified to do your job(even moreso when it's your own child) then she's the one with the problem and maybe she neeedds to take a good look at herself and address that.

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L.P.

answers from Charlotte on

Well first of all your Mother in-law needs to just shut up!
Sorry but I am a grandmother of six and if your doctor says she is ok and you are a nurse then you do know better!
Don't let her get to you! YOU are her MOTHER not her!
And your husband should know that this is your baby and you would never do something to hurt her.
Try to give her icecream or popcicles, you can get the pedielite and freeze it and stick it into ice trays with sticks and see if she will suck on it.
Push on her finger nails and toe nails and see if the color is purple and if so take her to the doctor. Better safe than sorry. If everyone is that worried then have her checked out again and prove to them she's ok.
Sorry about the spelling on some of this.
Merry Christmas

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Um let me think... They have popcicles at the store that are made just for that... Try to give her some thing fun thats a fluid... Then mabe she will take it.
As for your mother in law... They always think they know more because they are older... mostly they are just trying to help... I know some times it's hard to take... But If she can get some tipe of point across... Most of the time they think you will take a second and third look at the situation...

D.

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