R.H.
My sister and I are 3 1/2 years apart and when we were younger we fought every day before school, after school, weekends - basically every time there was something to argue over, from who's clothes were on the wrong side of the room, to who was taking too long in the bathroom and who got to sit in the front seat. And it was usually broken up by our mother, who almost every time took my side ( my sister is the older outspoken one with a short temper, I'm the younger, soft spoken one and it takes a lot to get me upset, and usually I was the one who was crying). There were many arguments between my sister and mother because my sister assumed that our mother was playing favorites, and as much as my mother explained that isn't why my sister was getting in trouble, that it was because my sister is older, knows better, and/or started the fight, my sister still flew off the handle. Perhaps that is how you son is feeling. And don't be too sure it's always him who starts the fights. My sister and I learned to do things separately more often than not, and to tolerate each other over extended amounts of time spent together, but we really didn't get along too well, until we were living separately. But that's with two girls, and even so if someone had a problem with me, my sister was right there to back me up. As an older brother, that feeling of protectiveness will be even stronger, and their bond will strengthen faster than two girls. Keep in mind that as your son is growing up and the first to do just about everything, like start middle school, able to stay up later or whatever things you feel he is old enough to do but your daughter isn't, there is a bit of jealousy probably coming from her, as well. I wish I had some better advice for you, but personally, I think time is the only thing that will really put a stop to the fighting. And for the sake of your sanity, I hope it's a lot sooner than it was for me and my sister.