The last two months have been full of changes for my 5 year old.
- She started kindergarten and left the daycare that she has loved since 3 months old. It was a small home daycare and it was more like a family atmosphere.
- She's in a classroom with 20 kids and a teacher she has to share and she is not handling it well. (this is getting much better)
- She has to spend 30 minutes in School Age Care (latchkey) in the morning and 2.5 hours after school. So she has a long day.
- Moved into a new home a month ago.
My biggest concern is the fact that she really isn't making any friends. She prefers to be by herself. She'll "play" with others from time to time, but for the most part she's content being by herself. I have encouraged her to talk to the other kids and she has a "friend" in SAC, but the little girl has to approach her to play or my daughter will go somewhere to be by herself. When she is around me or the others at her old daycare, she's a totally different person.
Is there anything I can do to bring her out of her shell? I don't want her to become socially awkward at this age. Any suggestions?
BTW - She has been in gymnastics for the last 3 years and she's taking swimming lessons. But she does not make friends..
Thanks
Some people are outgoing, some are not. I am more like your daughter - I need to assess the people & situation before I am comfortable enough to start talking to people. Once I am comfy, I'm pretty social. I think it's a personality thing. You can't force someone to be social, you know? Give her some time. I think if you push it too much, it might be counter productive.
Give her time....my daughter was just like this. I will share with you some things I did. But I also wanted to share, my daughter barely talked to any of the other kids in her extracurricular activities either, but this year (she is 7) its like she is totally coming out of her shell and on her own too. I think its just because of experience and time.
But one of the main things I did as the years went on is play dates and more play dates. With different friends too.
I started with just one play date with a certain friend only to find out my daughter used this friend as a crutch and then this friend would leave my daughter behind. So at that point I planned a play date with another friend, then another. And now play dates aren't as important but my daughter feels way more comfortable because she knows quite a few friends relatively well. These play dates were all on me too...I had to search out the parents and plan the play dates but the parents were very receptive.
Other than that try not to worry so much about her playing with herself unless it is truly bothering her. If its just you that is concerned then let her be. Believe me in time she will open up. And if you think she needs help, plan those play dates! Good luck!
Is she happy playing by herself? Maybe she enjoys doing her own thing. I don't like having a bunch of people around me. It's not that I'm antisocial. I just enjoy the freedom to do what I like to do. I'm not antisocial. In fact I have no problem working with other people and most people find me very friendly. I just enjoy my time to myself. Some people enjoy being surrounded by people and others don't. I wouldn't worry.
I think she is just surveying the land. You are probably projecting some of your fears. Trust her. She can do this. She needs some time to warm up.
Sounds like she had a great solid begining and knows how much she is loved. She will be fine!
