I have had this feeling lately like we are in a rut and I just want to show my husband how much I really love him, but not sure how to really get the point across. I know for me a card and flowers are great, but that is not something he would really like or enjoy.
What is the best way to show your husband how much you really love and care for him? (Besides the obvious bedroom stuff) I really want to do something special, but don't know what to do.
Also, I can only cook a very few things well and he doesn't like most of those, so cooking a special meal really is not a good way for me to show my love to him :)
He tends to be a home body and just loves spending time with the girls and with us. He does like to read so maybe I can go to the book store and get him some books he would like. He does not play or really get into any sports other than to play with my daughter in the yard.
He just updated all his music, so that is a bust too. He is so hard to shop for it is ridiculous. I just want him to know how much I truly appreciate and love him.
I think a lot of men just want to feel appreciated (especially because as women, we do a lot of complaining sometimes). So every day, tell him something that you appreciate or love about him. How about making a big fuss when he comes home and telling him how much you missed him and how happy you are that he is home? My husband never gets tired of that and it instantly gets him out of a bad mood if he's had a rough day.
Have you just thanked him for everything he does? They actually love that as much as we do.
So, I know you said outside the bedroom stuff, but honestly, that in a man's repertoire of feeling needed and appreciated.
I've been recovering from surgery and DH and I haven't been able to have sex for the last month. Yesterday, out of the blue, I gave him a BJ.
I also explained that I appreciate his patience through my recovery, and I wanted to give something back to him. (This wasn't the first time during this recovery.)
Seriously, I think that went a lot further than a special dinner or date would have!
I wrote I heart you on post it notes and put them in his pockets. I wrote on the bathroom mirror with my eye liner or lipstick. I would also leave them in his truck.
It was corny but he liked it. He started doing it for me too.
It feels weird when you first start doing it, but then it gets easier.
The easiest way to learn how to cook is to get a recipe. Find something simple. Look thru a cookbook for something and try it out.
Whatever you do, try to have fun!
Good luck and GOD BLESS!
D.
Guys do like cards too even if they don't want to admit it. I like to mail my guy a card to work just to say how very special he is to me and how happy he makes me. If you are sure no one else is going to open it you could always put a cute little picture in it for him.
What does your husband LIKE? What does he like to do? Where does he like to go?
Does he like music for his iPod? Get him an iTunes gift card or download a special music mix.
Does he like sweets? Stop by the bakery and get him a dozen goodies.
Does he like to golf? Get him a gift card for the driving range & make sure he gets the time to go.
Does he like to read? Pick him up a great new book or a gift card to a book store near you.
But maybe, it's just something he'd like to hear. :)
My friend made an I Love You box for Valentines for her now-husband when they were dating.
She wrote all the little reasons she loved him on slips of paper and put them in the box. Last I spoke with her about it she will every now and then add a few here and there. She said he still will pull it out and go through it periodically.
Seems cheesy right? And if you asked most guys if they would want that you'd get a resounding NO! But, I think everyone enjoys being reminded of all the little reasons someone CHOOSES them.
I'm sure someone will tell you to buy the Five Love Languages book - seems to have helped a lot of people. Not me, so much. Honestly couldn't figure out which one my guy was - seemed like he needed all of them - no one more than another...
As examples of the above: I will sometimes pick up something here and there at the grocery store as a special treat for him and he really enjoys that - does it for me, too. He also REALLY loves for me to tell him how much I appreciate how hard he works for us and our family. He sometimes really enjoys cuddling and affectionate touch, and sometimes doesn't. He loves it when I offer to happily run errands for him that he doesn't have time or doesn't want to handle. It's all a jumble for me - but those are also examples of what I do to remind him how much I love him.
Granted, I don't do it often enough...
Oh - and you might be surprised how much he would feel loved if you TRIED to cook something he enjoys - even if you end up burning it!
maybe a suprise weekend getaway J. the two of you? or if you cant afford it get babysitter for the weekend and stay home together
Write a play and have you and the kids act it out for him. You can dress up like him by wearing his clothes. You can have scenes like "when Daddy was younger" or "Daddy going to work".
Learn to say I love you in every language you can.
Write down one thing you love about him on a post it note and put them up all over the house.
Ask him directly....Honey I just want to say how much I love and appreciate you. What can I do for you that shows you this?
I feel like we've been in a rut lately but you matter to me and I wanted you to know that.
How about create a date night close to home...create a romantic meal at home even if that means bringing his favorite take-out home and light some candles.
I know what you mean. :)
A nice short note of why you love & appreciate him.
A list of your top 5 memories "WITH" him. Some fun times.
Buy him a special book that you KNOW he would like.
Take him out to dinner or make hi favorite food & dessert. Have a fun
night in.
Encourage him to take a weekend day to go out w/a friend of his.
Give him a massage at home. Even 15-20 mins of a shoulder or back
massage is nice.
Remember to compliment him. All the reasons you love him & our
thankful he's in your life.
Get his favorite takeout.
Back rub, foot massage.........
My hubs favorite is "the obvious bedroom stuff", sorry, had to say it. He likes other things too. But if I were to ask him "Hey hon, would you like me to fix you a nice dinner or do you a personnel "favor"........he'd pick the "favor" every time...........and it does make him feel special and loved and appreciated.
I bought a book called "The Husband Project 21 Days of Loving Your Man - on Purpose and with a Plan" by Kathi Lipp. Exactly what it sounds like 21 days worth of activities from writing a note, going out, making him a special meal all to let my husband know I still love him to pieces! It was wonderful for my husband and since the book spelled out what to do - easy on me.
If I ever run out of ideas, I simply ask him. I tell him I want to do something sweet for him or show him my appreciation, and ask him if he has something in mind. He's given me answers from working on house projects to sexual favors to making him a pie to watching a movie with a giant bowl of ice cream. It all depends on what he's in the mood to do. Just ask. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. :)
Guys don't always show their need for emotional stuff but you could take a bunch of slips of paper and write down all of the things you love and appreciate about him and put them in a jar. Let him draw one once a day or week. Start leaving him little notes everywhere - in his sock drawer, on the mirror, just telling him how great he is, how lucky you are to have him, how much you love him. Surprise him every night for a week when he comes home with fantastic meals that he loves. Send him an email a day with a note about something great he did that you appreciated.
