Showering!

It's not an age thing, it's more of a CAN she do it by herself yet thing. You put her through training and when you are confident she will get herself clean then you wont have to question it. If you dont trust her yet then it means she's not quite ready.

I guess my daughter showered alone at 6. I may have still supervised the hair rinsing. I didn't wash anyone's private parts or anything other than hair after age 3. Teach her to use a washcloth in the shower. She's old enough for independence, just help her when she's ready for the shampooing if she needs help.

I would say at least 7. That is with me hanging near the bathroom. I start the water and ask how it is going. I just started letting my 6 year old shower with my 9 year old. I am always right there....and the 6 year old still needs a little help here and there. (too much shampoo in the hair or reminding to wash certain parts)

The issue I often take with parenting is the word "should".

Many parents, I've noticed use the word the same way a comedian commented about drivers. As in "There are only 2 kinds of drivers on the road: Maniacs & Morons. Maniacs drive faster than you, and Morons drive slower." So "should" becomes whenever THEY either chose to, think they'll choose to, or their child did.

In reality SO many things enter into MOST aspects of childhood & parenting. Including, but not limited to,
- development (physiological -including neurological-, and psychological)
- personality
- situation
- custom / tradition

Some kids are more than ready to shower on their own and wash their hair to a T at age 3. Then at age 8, all of a sudden have hygeine issues. Other children aren't ready to bathe themselves until 5/8/10/whatever. Some kids regress, some don't. Some kids are big on personal space, some parents are big on personal space, some kids are super social and want the company, ditto parents, some kids are physically incapable, some kids are scared, some parents ditto, some kids take too long, some kids aren't thorough. And that's all just psych & personality. Not even entering into being physically capable (like arms that don't reach yet, or a disorder), or situational, like a kid who would be fine with short hair needs help with long hair. Much less custom & tradition, which often treats bathing as either the highest of sins sans sex, or bathing as family time. (Ditto cooking... there was a scene from a show a million years ago that had 2 families sharing a house for a week. One mum was spoon feeding her toddler and another toddler walked in, opened the fridge got a juice box & yogurt, opened each, threw away the garbage, and set them on the table. The first mum was stunned and said to the 2nd just walking into the kitchen: "He got his own SNACK???" the second mum looked at her for a second and said "No... he got a snack earlier, I asked him to grab one for me."

When "should" is is whenever it WORKS for your family. Sometimes kids will surprise you and be totally capable of X YEARS before you thought they would be, sometimes they're not years after you thought they would be.

It's whatever WORKS, in my not-so-humble opinion, and that changes in every house, and often for each individual within that house.

My twins are 6 and still need some help. It all really depends on the child.

Hi, I'm not sure I'll be much help because I was sort of wondering the same thing. My daughter just turned seven and wants to take showers. I'm sure she'll get her privates clean cause she's been doing that herself for quite some time now, but she has very thick hair, and it's a pain to wash. I would say start letting her do it by herself in front of you a few times to make sure she can do it first.

when you feel she is ready you might let her do the showering under supervision but still do her hair.

Well your daughter's hair is 'really long' as you said.
This alone, can be hard to do for a 5 year old.... to get ALL the shampoo out and rinsed out well with no residue.
Even for me, and my thick hair, it takes time to get all the shampoo rinsed out. AND for little kids, they often put TOO much shampoo on their head.

My daughter, from about 6 years old was showering by herself. BUT... with shampoo and getting it all rinsed out, I'd help her, because she'd always come out of the shower still with suds in her hair. But to 'her' she thought she got it all rinsed out. And then I'd make sure she washed well.

So yes, still spot check her.... why not?

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I'm thinking at 5 she could do it. You may have to help her turn the water on and off and also help her with her hair if is long. She could probably even do the shampoo (at least partway) and then tell her to call you when she's ready to rinse. That way you can go in and shampoo more if necessary and help her finish.

My 5 yo step daughter showers on her own, but she has a big play in there and she'll tell us she's finished, but it turns out she hasn't washed herself. We've taught her how to wash herself properly so when we go in there and remind her to wash herself, she does a pretty good job. We just need to do her back.

I think it depends entirely on what you've taught her to do as to what you should expect from her. I don't expect my Step daughter to wash her own hair because we haven't pushed for her to do so. I think it'd take quite a few suds in her eyes before she learnt how to do it on her own. But I don't think a five year old can take care of extra long hair on their own.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do! :)

Mine are boys (3 1/2 and 4 1/2) but they shower instead of bath about 1/2 the time or when we don't have alot of time. I let them try to do it for the most part, but I supervise and reach in and help if they look like they are not getting it all. We've been doing this about 9 months now, and they are getting better and better. So, maybe you can try just superivising and assisting from the side to gage how well she can do it and help her work up to doing it all by herself. I think 5 is a great age to start. Although, I know my 4 1/2 year old still loves to sit in the tub to play with toys so I try to let him still do that just for fun whenever we have more time.

My only daughter is only 2 but my oldest son is 7 and has been showering by himself since he was 5...really showering by himself (turning water on/off unassisted) since he was 6.

My kids always had a short "rinse" after a tub to get the soap off their skin. At about age 6 they wanted showers, just for fun, they would take them together and waste buckets of water! We actually bought a timer and leave it in the bathroom and set 5 minutes for washing and 5 minutes for rinsing. I did initially wash their hair and then condition it, but at age 10 or so my oldest started doing it on her own, and the younger one is now 10 and also showers alone but occasionally I will help with washing her very long hair. I would give your daughter 5 minutes alone to feel grown up then come in and say it is time to wash your hair. Let her try, but if you feel it is not fully clean let mom have a turn rubbing the head, then confirm she washes all the soap out before you condition or come out. My kids really only need to wash hair about once a week (dry not oily scalps), so the other times they shower I let them do their own thing, but once a week (usually after school gym class or on Saturday) I make sure that I "help" with the hair washing. We also have peri-bottles from when I gave birth, and the youngest uses that to rinse her vulva of all soap since she has super sensitive skin. Perhaps let your daughter try on a weekend and see how it goes. Good luck, it is fun to see them mature. You have a whole new world ahead of you where she will astound you with her verbal insights and annoy you with her stubbornness, but it is all part of growing up.

I think there is a difference between showering alone and actually truly cleansing oneself. My children have showered alone for a while, but I also don't think they can clean themselves as well as I think they should. Once I week I wash everyone's hair, whether they are in shower or bath, so that I can massage the scalp and make sure all gets rinsed out (my son maybe once a month). They wash well with washcloths, so by 7 I felt they were getting the "parts" clean.

My son is 3.5 and showers alone. I go in and make sure (usually just ask) if he washed everything... "Did you get yout toes? Your armpits? Your tummy?" ...you get the idea. I do wash his hair and back a couple times a week just to be sure they are really getting clean from time to time. :)

Since he is a boy, I dont have the long hair to consider, so it is probably different for girls. HTH!

My daughter is a pretty independent young lady. She has long fine hair that has a slight wave to it and it tangles very easily. She has just gotten where she can shower and shampoo/condition and rinse her hair properly in the past year or so. She is 9 1/2.

Up until this past summer I always washed her hair for her during her bath. She has been doing all the rest for several years now... but the hair.... she wouldn't get all the shampoo out or get the conditioner in thoroughly on her own. And this is with a handheld shower head that has a slide bar for height adjustment. So the shower head is NOT all the way at the top of the shower where she can't reach it or direct it where she needs it to go.

I don't think there is any way a 5 year old is going to be able to wash/rinse her hair properly in the shower, even cut short like a boy. My son didn't even take showers alone at that age. When he did (closer to age 7 or 8) he still would come out with shampoo sometimes and had to go back in, lol.

Our daughter bathed and showered herself by 6, but has very thick hair.. She would do her best and then call for me to go in and wash her hair "really good" and then rinse it out really good..

My kiddos started to shower at age 3 they still filled the bath tub up with water & bubbles,I would let them shower get wet then wash themselves then of course mom or dad would help with rewashing rinsing then out they come but on quick nites they would sit I get them wet with a cup wash them rinse then out.We haven't had any issues of slip & falling or not cleaning well in the private parts thye have help their not all by themselves my oldest is in 1st grade I still will look in on him to make sure he is washing asw ell as getting wet.My daughters hair was long it would take her a while to wash all of it then the condtioning she disliked getting her hair in tangles then having to comb out the nots so we cut it 6 inches a few weeks ago she looks great less fuss & better to manage her hair care.

My daughter just turned 6 and she's been showering by herself for over a year now. She uses my master shower and I go in and out of the room to check on her and make sure she cleans everything properly. She knows not to adjust the water temp herself and i always check it before she gets in. Sometimes she's sneaky and tries to skip washing her hair, but for the most part she does just fine on her own. :-)

When my girls were about 5 or so i let them shower or take a bath alone (whichever got the job done at the time!). I, however, washed their hair in the kitchen sink to ensure it was truly clean and well rinsed. Their hair was fine & long -- way too easy to either not get it clean, get in into a snarly, tangled mess or not rinse it properly. When they bathed on their own, I just put their hair in a ponytail and clipped that to their head with some barrets.

my 3 year old showers alone. and when i say alone i mean i sit on the toilet out side of the shower she tells me when shes done washing her hair and i check to make sure she is well soaped then i check to see that its all out. my daughter LOVES to wash with a bar of soap so i know shes getting clean lol

Cut your daughter's hair if you want her to start showering by herself. It will be so much easier to maintain, too!

At 7 K starts the shower or bath by herself and does all the stuff. I come in and wash her hair during the shower and put conditioner and comb the tangles out. She plays/showers longer and then she rinses her hair. We have worked on it for some time, teaching her to lift her hair up and how to make sure she can't feel the slick conditioner in it.

I check her hair when I help her get wrapped up in the towel. She does pretty well. But we have spent lots of time working on how to stand under the water and not get it in her nose, how to rinse the girl parts so she doesn't get a yeast infection from the soap.

My daughter is also 5 and I don't think she could get clean either. Our son started taking showers when he was 7. he is 7 1/2 now and sometimes I still come in and ask if he has cleaned all of his parts. I mostly worried he would not be able to back into the water and rinse without it running into his eyes. I am not sure if I will wait until my daughter is 7 too but I am sure it will be close.