Shoving, Thowing, and Nose Picking

Ignore the nose thing, hard as it is!

As for the throwing, I've always made mine go and pick up the object and try again. Don't pick it up for him; then it becomes a game.

As for the shoving, because he is just 2, he is just now learning how to be social so I think you should go over and correct the behavior. Don't make a big deal out of it, but do teach him the proper way. Can't expect him to "know" how to behave until he's been taught and had a chance to practice in social situations.

Oh yeah, welcome to the world of 2 year old boys...it's an adventure!! :) The shoving and throwing are pretty typical. We went through a major hitting/shoving phase and I was constantly mortified, preparing to be mortified or hovering to hopefully prevent mortification. I think you should intervene in the shoving every time.

You don't need to cause a big fuss but start saying things like...we don't shover our friends, we need to share space and he gets a turn too, it's not okay to shove, we use nice hands, etc., etc. You can put him in time out, which I do think is an effective method, but at 2, it's still mostly a game, so if you go that route don't expect it to be a quick and/or miracle cure. Other moms do not like to see their kid shoved regardless of the reason, so I think intervention is key to happy park time. And even moms who maybe had a hitter or biter sometimes "forget" what it was like, so get your happy face on!

As far as the throwing...well if it's out of frustration I do think it needs to be addressed. Even a simple, it's not okay to throw when we are angry, will suffice. Something I say a lot is, It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to ______ (throw, hit, call names, etc) and I do think he needs to clean up the stuff he threw. At 2 you will need to help him and that's fine, but he can't just throw stuff around, have a tantrum and then be able to just move on and not deal with the mess.

Also start encouraging him to ask for help. You can even teach him the sign for help. Maybe if he had that in his repertoire it would be easier for him to communicate. My son was a late talker and we only did a few signs but they worked wonders!!

As far as the nose...I'd ignore it. It's not going to make it go away, but you have enough other stuff to work on before tackling the nose! ;) Just keep tissues handy and hand him one every time you can.

At two you do not "let the kids sort it out". I am all for not hovering, but toddlers need some guidance as to what behavior is expected. At two there must be swift but fair consequences for unwanted and unacceptable behavior. Whatever you choose it should be something to can easily administer anywhere you go. For shoving I would give one reminder to "be gentle" or "slow down" and if that doesn't take remove him from that particular toy/situation (for example move from the slide to the sandbox).
For acting out in frustrations (throwing/hitting/pushing/biting) I like to give time outs. DD is now 5 and it was very effective when she was a toddler.
As for the nose picking...pick your battles. I have given up on that one counting on peer pressure to resolve it...
Good luck!

Okay, let me start with the nose picking LOL! What you ought to do is head over with a tissue or wet washcloth EVERY time he starts and say to him "Oh, you must need your nose cleaned out!" He will HATE this and fuss to high heaven! BUT...he will stop picking his nose because he will associate it with you cleaning it. Nose picking isn't just a bad habit for him to have - it's also a good way to end up catching colds and the flu.

Next - shoving and throwing. Mom, it might be normal for 2 year olds to do, but please, please don't be that mom who says "toddlers will be toddlers!" as their child bulldozes their way through other kids. Other mothers will just seethe as you sit there and say nothing, or if you say "Honey~ we don't do that~" (whiney voice and all).

Instead, you get up and go over and redirect him away and tell him "We do NOT push our friends. If you push your friends, we will go home." And then show him you mean business.

It's especially important for a big kid to be held at bay. Big kids don't know their own strength. You don't want to be in the position later on that other people call him a bully.

When he throws things, he doesn't get to play with them anymore. If he is frustrated with a puzzle he can't finish and throws it because of that, then this frustration is something you can't ignore. If he doesn't have words at 2, he needs a speech eval and you need to get him help so that he has words to say to help with his frustration.

Throwing things - 2 reasons - frustration and just throwing. Treat them differently.

Good luck,
Dawn

aw, aren't you a lovely mama?
while i advocate kids working things out for themselves to a degree, it's also our job to start invoking gentle boundaries on the itsy bitsy beasties. in the shoving situation, just stopping for a second and saying something simple like 'no pushing' is appropriate. if he continues, removing him for 2 minutes will get the message through. and i assure you, the other mothers will be grateful.
no need for stern 'discipline' or going home or anything. just enough of a reaction for him to *start* getting the message that he shouldn't do that. i think a lot of the playground problems are mothers thinking their kids (and especially other people's kids) should learn these social lessons a lot more quickly than kids actually do.
as for the throwing, i'd pick a different option altogether. if he tossed the puzzle, the puzzle immediately gets put away. no punishment, just denial of the thrown object. the onesie is a little different. i'd simply offer help in that case.
as for the nose, if you gently remove the finger and wipe it with a wet wipe each time you find it inserted, after a while he'll get sick of that and stop.
hopefully.
maybe not for a while<G>.
but again, no freak out.
sounds to me as if you are a sensible, no-drama mama!
:) khairete
S.

Shoving, throwing, nose picking OH MY!
Shoving deal with strictly, no shoving, 1, 2, three times= time out!
throwing just redirect we dont throw puzzles, give him a soft throwable toy
nose picking, try swabbing his nose with a Q-tip and vaseline

Sounds like the pushing just needs a little correction. Try explaining to him that "We have to take turns" or "We need to wait our turn, let him/her go first, then you can go because it will be your turn!" I had to do that for quite a few times with my older daughter, but she eventually got the hang of it.

The tossing things is obviously his way of expressing frustration (from the scenarios you've described). He wants to be able to do things on his own, but he's just not QUITE able to yet. Probably correct saying "We don't throw things, even when we're upset," then maybe have him pick the item up and put it where it belongs.

The nose picking, well..... If you figure out a good way to beat that one let me know! My older one is still doing this, although every time I see it (now) I tell her to get her finger out of her nose.

Dr. Sears is a childhood expert and he has some great advice for these issues, such as the communication and such here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/discipline-behavior

He talks more about specific behaviors (hitting, nose picking...) here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/discipline-behavior/b...

It's such a tough age, frustration causes so many outbursts. Toddlers understand so much more we give them credit for, even if he doesn't say too much yet, you can tell him not to push, or try to teach him how to say excuse me, or take turns on the slide. Kids are still too small to,sort that out when they are that small, they still needs parent to intervene for issues like that. As far as the frustration with a puzzle, maybe redirection to a new toy or activity and try the puzzle again at a time that he isn't so frustrated, and encourage him to keep trying. Nose picking is tough, it seems the more I tell my daughter not to do it, the more she does it, although I feel I should tell her it's yucky, just out of principle.

Good luck!

Updated

It's such a tough age, frustration causes so many outbursts. Toddlers understand so much more we give them credit for, even if he doesn't say too much yet, you can tell him not to push, or try to teach him how to say excuse me, or take turns on the slide. Kids are still too small to,sort that out when they are that small, they still needs parent to intervene for issues like that. As far as the frustration with a puzzle, maybe redirection to a new toy or activity and try the puzzle again at a time that he isn't so frustrated, and encourage him to keep trying. Nose picking is tough, it seems the more I tell my daughter not to do it, the more she does it, although I feel I should tell her it's yucky, just out of principle.

Good luck!

Shoving - is not unusual, but you should nip it in the bud, especially if he is bigger than other kids his age. You don't want somebody to fall, and get hurt and have it be his fault.

Throwing...as long as he only throws lightweight/harmless things like puzzle pieces and onesies, I'd let this one go. Being a kid this age is frustrating.

Nose picking...I try to ignore this, unless they start eating it, smearing boogers on stuff, or are being super gross about it.. When they get a little older, I try to direct them towards more appropriate nasal management behaviors - i.e. privacy and tissues. :)