Should Teens Make Their Bed Every Day?

I think making the bed is the most pointless chore ever. I have never understood why people feel the need to do this. Picking up things off the floor, putting dishes away, tidying up...yeah she should be doing that every day.

Making the bed. Why?

Honestly? I only make my bed when I change my sheets or if someone's coming over that will see the bedroom (like a party where all the coats will be set on the bed). I don't require my daughter to do it any other times, either.

In college, though, I made my bed every day. I lived in a dorm and frequently had people hanging out in my room watching tv and whatnot, so making the bed every day made sense.

I never make my bed... Except when I think someone will have reason to see it. For example... Tomorrow, it will get made because the plumber is coming to fix the toilet in the bathroom off the bedroom. Lol.

I just don't see the point... I make it, then destroy it. It does not affect the cleanliness of the room, just makes it look nicer... Which doesn't matter in a room NO ONE SEES but me (and now, my husband...) lol.

It's a pointless battle, and not one I would bother fighting. Maybe the compromise is that she has to make it if she wants to have friends over.

Making the bed every morning was never something I required of my kids before they went off to school (I don't make my everyday either.) I would much prefer they spend their time in the morning making sure they have everything they need packed for school and have time for breakfast before they head out the door. I would pick my battles --and bed making is not one of them that is going to make a difference.

I am 36 years old.
I never make my bed.
L.

Please don't fight your teenager over making a bed. I don't think it is expecting too much to make a bed. But, it is not important to her..let her have control over her space. If you don't like how her room looks..then simply close the door.

We expect their rooms to be picked up and bed made once a week...usually on Saturday. The kids also have other chores to do as well in the communal part of the home. But their room is their space.

We have found that as we let go of the reigns a bit when it came to their rooms then they actually started to keep them neater. Often kids will rebel just to get back at you..not even really wanting to. The more you harp..the more they push back simply to prove they have an opinion and will stand ground. Don't turn all these situations into power struggles.

Good luck and best wishes!

She's old enough to decide this for herself. If you don't like the way her room looks, close the door.

I hated making my bed as a teenager. It was a constant battle with my mother. We probably fought about making my bed (and picking up my room, which was never that bad) more than anything else. And you know what? As an adult I still hate making my bed. I now sleep with just a bottom sheet and a duvet cover so that I can simply toss the duvet back up towards the pillows and the bed looks mostly made.

I wish my mom could have relaxed about the bed situation. There were so many more important things we could have been spending our time on. So no - my opinion is that teens should not have to make their beds every day. If you want your daughters room to look neat, can you help her arrange it so that an unmade bed won't ruin everything? Or can you get her sheets/blankets that don't need hospital corners to look acceptable? How about working with her to figure out other chores she could do to cancel out not wanting to make her bed?

I don't make my bed every day and think anyone that thinks that is important is weird...sorry, I have other things to do with my time than worry about the bed being made.

I have a friend who's mom was like you. She was in elementary school one day and she got asked to come to the office. The principle said she was to walk home, her mom was waiting for her. She thought someone had died.

Her mom met her at the door and said "You forgot to make your bed this morning". Of all the silly things to take a child out of school for.

To this day that woman does not make her bed. As soon as she got out of the house she stopped and has not looked back.

I don't make my bed and I think it's a pretty useless waste of time. There are so many other things to do. I suggest that if you like it made then you make time to go do it for her. I would rather just let them have their room the way they want it and shut the door.

Pick your battles.

Instead, she can wash her own sheets/blankets. Once a week.
I would hope, she knows how to do laundry by now.

That was a battle I wasn't willing to fight. I figured my kids' job was to get As and do well in school. I cleaned their rooms and made their beds. I expected them to get their dirty clothes into the laundry.
They went to summer camps and never had any issue keeping their things neat and tidy. Now they are in college and are managing just fine.

A bed that's made just looks nice. However, I think it's something that every person has to find out for themselves.

We compromise and she has to make her bed if there is company or a friend coming over. Other than that, we don't care.

Bed bugs and dust mites like neatly made beds.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4181629.stm

I don't do it, and don't make my kids do it, unless someone outside the family is going to see it. I have way better things to do with my time. We do change our sheets at least 3-4 times a month. Just another perspective :)

I only make my bed when I change the sheets. Otherwise I see it as pointless.

I guess it depends on WHY she is suddenly refusing to make her bed.

Is she rushed in the morning? If so, talk to her about organization. If there is a set amount of things she is required to do before she leaves... then walk her backwards through her morning to determine what time she needs to get up. You may find that she has too many things to do and she's overwhelmed. So, either cut some things out or determine what can be done the night before to free up time in the morning to give her time to make her bed.

Is she asserting her independence? This is a different, but equally valid conversation. She wants to do things her own way.... how do you feel about this? What amount of independence will be allowed and how will it be managed? Do you have other children in the home that if your daughter stops making her bed anarchy will ensue? All of these things play a factor.

Then, ask yourself... is this a hill to die on? If it's important to you that beds are made every day then you will need to stand firm. However, it's important that you figure out what you ARE willing to negotiate with her on.... maybe she doesn't make her bed, but she's allowed a later bedtime (or whatever).
14 is a time when you need to start transitioning to being a young adult, so you will need to keep parenting her, but parent her differently.

Another vote for letting the bed go unmade. This is an easy one to give in on. There are so many important things going on with teens. Making the bed is not one of them. It takes so much energy just to keep up with communication and maintaining a good relationship with your teen. Don't let this distract you or get in the way of what really matters.

I'd compromise. If she is keeping up with other things and keeping them mostly tidy; if the made-up bed has no negative affect, I'd let her have this one.

I'm the mom who likes making my bed in the morning, like how the room looks, but honestly, when I was a kid, I didn't care at all. I now teach my young son to pull up his covers (he just has a fitted sheet and duvet) and call it good. But if he got older and this was a 'big deal' I'd likely let it go, just to show him that I am willing to 'give' on some things which don't impact his health and welfare or education. Know what I mean?

I would have fought my mother tooth and nail if she tried to make me make my bed everyday as a teen. I didn't start making my bed until I was nearly 30. I make all the kids' beds every day, but would never expect them to do it. It's something I want done - not something they do, so I let it slide. The older two (ages 8 and 6) make their own about 30% of the time because they are trying to do something nice for me and know I appreciate it.

That being said, it is not an unreasonable expectation for a 14 year old. If it is something that is important to you and you are using it to teach life lessons (responsibility, cleanliness, respecting space, etc) then make her do it. But make sure it's a battle you want to pick.

I refuse to make the bed. My husband makes it.

My husband would answer YES
and I would answer NO...

For a compromise, why don't you have her make it once week and at the same time, have her change the sheets as well.. That to me seems reasonable..

Wow, I guess I am not the norm. Every bed in our house is made every morning. During the summer and on weekends during the school year my kids make their own beds but on school days I make the kids beds for them.

I don't make my own bed, so I never required her to make hers. She makes it when she feels like making it.

Nah, she shouldn't have to make her bed every day. I do make ours, but I'm pretty picky about having nice crisp sheets, fluffed pillows, and turning the bed down at night.

I don't think it's unreasonable, however, to have her make it on the weekends when cleaning up, or before friends come over.

i just got done with your other question.
making her bed isn't such a terrible thing to insist upon, but 'cleaning her room' is too much in my book.
she's 14. she's in training to be a young adult. it's time to pick your battles.
khairete
S.

If there is a reason that you really want it made every day (like if her bed is in an area that people often see), I think the best compromise is to make sure her bedding is as "simple" as possible. Like a pretty duvet that can just be fluffed up to look nice. Multiple sheets/blankets/throw pillows can seem like a boring pointless chore for a teen.

I think that it depends on why you want her to and how she processes that. My parents would have loved for me to do that (I guess), but I didn't see the logic. If we were having company and friends would be in my room, then I made the bed. Otherwise, it didn't make sense to me as a daily routine when I would be the only one looking at it and it would only last for several hours before I'd be between the sheets again. Based on my logic and my willingness to do it for company, my parents didn't force me. I wasn't being defiant, just exercising my logic, which they somewhat nurtured, since they had taught me to be an independent and critical thinker.

I knew how to make a bed (the tucking and folding), but my parents let me just smooth a comforter over the mattress and throw on top pillows with coordinating cases. It was simpler and more fun.

I think that something like that might work better for your daughter. If you like a made bed, just keep making yours. She may or may not make hers as an adult. If you force her now, though, she likely will run far and fast when she's on her own. Figure out the point of having her do it, and figure out how to make that appeal to her. There is certainly a time and place for "because I said so". I guess you have to decide, at this point in her life, what it's worth to you.

Today, I rarely make my bed, but I pull the covers up to the pillows just to "close" it. I don't like for the fitted sheet to be exposed.

I've never made it a rule to make their beds. When they were younger and I would clean their rooms I always did it. When they got older and would help clean their rooms, they did it. Now it's just something they do. Not every day but most.

I say let her skip it, it's not that serious.

Wow! I always make my bed. I was taught that way by my Mom. She would remake it if it wasn't done to her liking. My 10 year old makes his bed. It takes about 3 seconds. He doesn't have to tuck everything in, just smooth the top sheet and throw the comforter over it. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it gets made. I think unmade beds are sloppy and perpetuates a messy room. Maybe some of the responders here live in two story houses, where the bedrooms are upstairs and so it doesn't really matter? Or really big single story houses and just close the doors? I mean really, it is not asking too much to make a bed.

I don't make my bed everyday.

If this is the worst thing your daughter fights with you about, you're doing all right.

I'm assuming that daily bed-making is a normal feature of all your household.

If she thinks such a harsh duty as bed-making is parental overload right now, see if you can cut a deal with her. She may leave her bed unmade as long as the bed looks relatively neat, and if she will keep the rest of her room reasonably sanitary and not looking like a potential mine field. It might not be up to your standard, but let her have a little feeling of power here.

If this involves simplifying her room, she can weed out the non-necessities from the necessities and the many other things she can't live without. It may turn into a room-redecorating project - but that could be a good parent-teen time, too.

Stay cool about it so that when she decides to return to a more grown-up standard - her OWN - she won't have to do it reluctantly.

Every morning? I don't even make my bed every day. I do not expect my kids (6 and 8) to do it if I can't even do it. I think I get around to it about 3-4 days a week. Sometimes I'm just in a rush and have better things to do. I don't think you should make her do it every single day. Maybe on the weekends only? Does she have to rush out the door for school?

I'm anal about beds being made but since its my issue vs a universal truth, I make them unless its a weekend when my kids have plenty of time. My mother made my bed on school days so I guess I'm following that practice. I'd never put more pressure on a teen on a school day over something in her space that only matters to me. I'm really really neat but believe teens should get to control their space to a degree. My sister was a slob but my mom let it go and now my sister is very neat. I think they learn from having a neat home vs their own room.

Everyone should make their bed every day!

You have to decide if it's worth the battle. I don't care if my son makes his bed and he doesn't . I just close the door. The things that matter most to me regarding my son are mutual respect, communication, and doing his best in school. Will it matter to you when you're 40 or 50 if your daughter didn't make her bed when she was 13? I just bet you won't!

I ask my kids to make their bed every morning, but if they forget one or two days a week, I don't worry about it. If I happen to notice, I just tell them to do it before whatever fun thing we have planned next. Works like a charm. It takes 1 minute to make a bed and it really makes the room look more pleasant during the day. You aren't expecting too much.

My children whom are 6 & 9 clean their room and make their beds everyday. I don't expect perfection. I do expect them to take care of their own rooms to the best of their abilities. It takes mere minutes to make a bed. The way I see it if my autistic 6 year old can make his bed, a typical child, no matter the age, can make their bed daily if that's what you as a parent want the child to do. She's 14, not grown. She needs to follow the rules.

Our whole family only makes the bed every two weeks when the sheets are changed. I know my kids have lots of school work during the school year, lots of sports, plus regular household expectations like their laundry and dishes. They need to keep their rooms free of garbage and dirty clothes. I could care less if their beds are made regularly as long as their rooms are relatively clean and neat.

The could boil down to a generational thing or a regional thing. I had to make my bed at your daughter's age when I lived with my aunt. She was the type that if you didn't do it correctly you would do it until it was right.

Yes, she also was a stickler about other thing in the home being cleaned such as windows and mirrors and wooden floors.

I have moved on in my life and so has she. Her training has paid off in the long run with being able to take care of a home. I have a problem with doing windows more than a few times a year because of her weekly window washing in hot and cold temps outdoors.

So be careful of what you stress. Try to influence her by guiding and not forcing her to do things. She will learn on her own what is important to her. Just make sure the room does not creepy crawlers about.

the other S.

PS I like a bed made but hubby is home and gets up after I do. So the bed is unmake unless it is after I have laundered the bedding.

I was raised as an Air Force brat. I was never required to make my bed daily. I think I did it on the weekends or when cleaning my room. I do not make my bed every day - I USUALLY do it Sat/Sun but do not require my kids to do the same. Honestly I don't see the need....