Should My Mom Get Mental Help?

Updated on July 16, 2011
J.S. asks from Green Cove Springs, FL
13 answers

My mom recently had a mastectomy. The surgery itself went well, however she had a reaction to some of the drugs. First she started to get angry for no reason, then cry for no reason. The staff then gave her an Ambien to help her sleep. Big mistake, it sent her into a state of waking nightmares, so she ended up screaming for two hours. So to calm her down they gave her a muscle relaxer, which made her combative, then they gave her two anxiety medications, THEN they put her in surgery the next morning! By Saturday she was catatonic. She spent all day Saturday completely unresponsive, the jumped when she was touched things like that but that's it. They took her off all pain meds, by Sunday she started to improve but would get "stuck". She would answer you with a yes or no, but then repeat the word for several minutes. Luckily by Monday the drugs were out of her system and she was back to normal.

Now she is getting some of her memory back and she told me yesterday that she had thought she was dead and in Hell. She said because of the physical pain she was feeling and she said she was really thirsty so her mind told her she was in Hell. She woke up screaming about tearing up lottery tickets because they came between her and God and was asking people if they were saved. She was begging for forgiveness. My sister said that she is talking about this experience a lot and it is concerning her. She seems to be dwelling on it, and it is making her despondent. Since this is a recent event I am wondering if I should give her some time to process what has happened, but when you talk to her that is all she seems to talk about. Should I have her seek some counseling or give her more time?

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

She needs help. Talk to the doctor and get a referral...

it could be stress and it could be the ill side affects of Ambien...I hear it can be nasty stuff!! Especially when mixed with morphine and other pain medicines..

my heart goes out to you..I'm truly sorry this is happening!!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

The event she went through can cause serious stress - enough for post traumatic stress syndrome at the very least. So yes, she should probably talk to someone (a psychiatrist or a counselor) to work through the anxiety and negative feelings. The hospital she had her surgery at should be able to recommend someone.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Ambien can do this especially to older people (not sure of your mom's age). So can other drugs. Iv'e seen it first hand. Your mom may be dwelling on it because she thinks she is going "crazy" when the fact is the "crazy" was a result of a reaction to medication -- and is NOT any actual mental illness on her part. She needs to see a doctor who can reassure her of that strongly and who will examine her physically and emotionally and run any tests needed to see if the medications (including any she is still taking!) are still affecting her.

Please know this: Once a woman is over "a certain age," many, many doctors and other health professionals treat them -- eventually, us -- like dumb children. I've seen doctors tell my late mom and many of her friends as they got older that whatever they were going through (from mental issues to COPD to, yes, cancer) were initially "just the changes of age" or "you're post-menopausal and these things happen." Seriously. Doctors didn't want to spend time with these older women to find out if they were really physically ill; the doctors just chalked everything up to "they're getting old, it's post-menopausal, it's in their heads" etc. So you MUST be a strong advocate for your mom with doctors. You and your sister should see her doctor IN PERSON and though he or she will say "I can't discuss a patient even if she's your mom," YOU can still talk to HIM. Dont' let anyone dismiss your mom or try telling you "it's all in her head." If it's the medications and she's upset they need to deal with it. Don't take no for an answer.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Well it's up to you, counseling or not, she went through a lot. Think of this, she had her breast removed. That would make me sad whether there were drugs or not. She thought she was facing death.And in pain. So she was saying she was sorry, too. I would direct her to counseling of course, but also listen, listen, listen. This is pretty scarey for most people. The meds might have affected her, but seriously she just went through a lot. Taking her off of pain meds so quickly? I do not understand.

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K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

Sometimes in the elderly something as simple as a yeast infection can onset Altzhiemers...give her sometime for this to settle down..but by experience...I can tell you a shrink will just push pills...one after the other...trying to find the "right" medicine that will work...and hell.....none of them work. Good Luck...been there...done that!

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R.S.

answers from Tampa on

Counseling is a beautiful thing and I highly recommend it. But I would find a way to get her off the meds. The side effects can be worse than what we are warned of. Do your research as this is the best way to find out info on each med. Also talk to her doctor about the mixture of the meds. My FIL had kidney failure because of a mixture of meds. Allergies can play into what it does to each person as well. Find out as you can save her a lot of pain and suffering. Don't take doctors word for this information as they get kickbacks for what they prescribe and don't do any research. You can do all this while she is in counseling. Good Luck and God bless.

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E.P.

answers from New York on

It sounds to me that your mother has been through a lot. Just the surgery itself and the recovery is enough for anyone to handle - not to mention the possible cancer factor. Reassure her that she has been through a LOT over the last few weeks. Remind her that she had a terrible reaction to a combination of drugs. They altered her mind and caused her to hallucinate until they were out of her system. Even though her "dreams" were very vivid and I'm sure scary, they were the result of a DRUG reaction. She isn't losing her mind as she may think. I don't honestly think she needs therapy right this minute. She needs time to heal and recover.
I took a course of hormones about a month ago. They caused me to be up most of the night and then when I did fall asleep, I had horrible vivid nightmares that were terrifying. I thought I was losing my mind for a few days too until I researched the side effects and found out this was common. After the drug was out of my system, I came to my senses. Your mother probably doesn't need therapy. Keep telling her she's fine & safe & give her more time.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I would make an appointment with a therapist. Talk therapy with a professional could do a lot of good if your mother is open to it, and since she's talking about it frequently she clearly NEEDS to talk about it. If you're worried about her being on depression medications, remember that it's HER choice to make. Give her the option of speaking with a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications, or a psychologist, who can not. A good psychiatrist will include frequent talk therapy in addition to medication and will not just write a prescription and hope the problem goes away.

A psychiatrist can also tell you if your mother is having symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer's disease.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

It sounds like she has gone through such a traumatic experience. Therapy can only help! I would encourage your mom to go and talk to someone. If nothing else, to get some of those evil thoughts/dreams etc. that she saw and get them out of her system. It sounds like the meds really effected her alot mentally as well as physically. She needs someone to guide her through this......GL

M

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Yes, counseling could be helpful to her (talk therapy, not more medications). She went through something traumatic--2 things really, the surgery and the terrible medication side effects. Talking it through over and over is actually a way dealing with the trauma. My grandmother (then 85) had a similar kind of experience where she nearly died after surgery due to complications and side effects of medication (we think the hospital staff mismanaged her recovery). She described hallucinations and feeling like she was almost dead. She talked about it quite a bit in the few months after the surgery but handled on her own and doesn't seem to have any lingering ill effects now. She is 90 now and very sharp mentally. However, family members have cooperated over the last few years since this happened to go with her to all her doctor's appointments. It really helps to have an advocate or even just a second person there to listen and ask questions. It is a good idea not just for older people but for anyone with significant health problems. Doctors and nurses are people and like most people they will be a bit more on their toes if they know someone is paying attention.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

First talking about her experience is an essential part of healing the emotional pain. Listen to her sympathetically. She'll stop when her mind is ready to stop.

Yes, counseling might help. She could very well have post traumatic stress syndrome. But even if she doesn't losing a breast in and of its self is traumatic never mind all the bad response to medication. Counseling has always helped me to heal in similar situations.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Yes, she needs help.

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