Should I Worry Yet?

My 24 year old did the same thing. He talks fine. He had speach therapy to help him talk. But I would not worry some people just never talk much. A lot of kids point and grunt. Just differences in personality. My second son never shuts up. He is in the other room driving my mother nuts.

Wasn't it Einstein who did not talk until he was 4? Somebody famous and smart, anyway. My brother talked very little until around 2 1/2. Today he has a master's degree. Just talk to him, not at him, and read to him, every chance you get.

My son is almost 22 months and he is just starting to talk. Be patient, as long as he understands what you are saying, I wouldn't worry too much!

You may want to keep your feelers out for any other issues he might have around social interaction (eg, eye contact, waving bye-bye, playing pat-a-cake). In a couple months if nothing changes, it can't hurt to have him evaluated by a specialist.

My daughter had exactly the same issues and almost everyone told me to wait for her to "grow out of it", or that they had a nephew who didn't speak until he was three, why is everyone so quick to pathologize infants, etc. When she was two and a half, she started receiving speech and OT through IL's Early Intervention programming. By her third birthday she doubled her expressive/receptive language levels.

I know the whole concept is incredibly daunting, and I'm in no way implying your child is "delayed" or anything like that. It's more like, why the hey not, the eval is free. If it's all good, then you can put your mind at ease. If there's something up, trust me, you want to deal with it sooner rather than later.

Good luck and let me know if I can be of further help.

Tell your hubby not to worry about it. My great-nephew hardly spoke at all until he was 3 yrs. old. He's in kindergarten now and has earned all kinds of prizes because he is way in front of everyone else. He already knows how to read all 75 words they have to know, plus he can sound out almost any word that's above his age level.
Your son will speak when he's ready.

Dear Shannon,
I would say that if his refusal to talk goes on much past 2 that I would be concerned. Do you find that you, your 9 yr. old and your husband have anticipated his needs to the extent that he really finds it unnecessary to have to ask for whatever? My daughter found this to be the case with her 2 year old who is 11 years younger than his sisters. Everyone essentially anticipated his every need or want. And my daughter would hear him say things too but he would not repeat things for her. He is talking a little more now and I hope your little one finds out that he needs to communicate.
Have you tried using sign language with him? That might help him communicate for a while too. Good luck.

If you've heard him, and he's just refusing, then he's fine. Boys have a tendancy to do hold off on speech. It's just not important to them. Their brains are too busy trying to figure out how the world works rather than on little things like talking about it. LOL(some behaviors I guess are learned immediately)! The Dr. doesn't sound concerned so neither should you be. Just keep working with him the way you already are and he'll talk when he's ready. I know many 2yr old boys who said very little, and then all of a sudden they just didn't stop talking a around 2.5yrs. One thing to really look for is does he understand simple commands. Like "bring mommy the ball." As long as he shows that he is beginning to connect words to objects then you really have nothing to worry about.
Have your husband talk to his mother and let her know that unless asked for, her two cents need to be kept to herself because they are causing friction. I've had to do this quite a few times with my MIL. However, my husband doesn't speek up, and I had to do it myself. My MIL had me worried that my son would need leg braces for about a week, till I finally told her to get off it, and leave it alone because she was worrying me. If the doctor is not concerned yet, then neither should you be, and no one has the right to upset the apple cart for you.
If your husband is so concerned have him do some research. There are a lot of articles out there which explain why speech patterns in boys tend to take the slow boat. Many elementary schools are currently requiring their teachers to take courses on the differences between how boys vs. girls learn due to differences in brain function. It could help to alleviate his fears as well, and maybe he'll be inclined to share some of his new found knowledge with his mother.

My 16 mo old is exactly the same. My 5 year old did not talk either and the Dr. wanted him to have speech therapy after he turned two. He never stopped talking since (sometimes I am thinking of sueing the dr! lol).
I personally belief that both my boys are using their brain for different things at this age and talking is just not a priority. Also, he gets what he wants even without using words.
I personally am not worried at all and I really think I would even ask the dr to wait with speech therapy if he is not talking at 2.

Don't worry.. My first son did not say more than ma ma when he turned 2. By the time he turned 26 months he would not shut up. It amazed me how in 2 short months his vocabulary grew. My youngest son is now 19 months and not saying even ma ma. I am not concerned yet. When kids are ready to talk they will.

Our 17 month old is just finally saying a few words, we just refuse to give her what she wants until she can say the word. It's tough but it's been working. She'll say "up", "cup", "cookie", "kitty" and she can sign "eat". She not consistent yet but we're working on it. When he points at something pick it up, say what it is and ask him to say it. If he just grunts, tell him no and repeat the word and ask him to say the word again. If it's just something he wants refuse to give it to him, after a few tries tell him no and put it down. If it's something you feel he needs try three times and just give it to him, next time he asks try get him to say what it is again. Just keep trying, people are lazy, even babies, he won't talk if he doesn't feel like he has to.

Shannon,

Some are going to say worry and others will say he will talk in his time, probably full sentences all at one as clear as a bell.

I do not have any input along those lines, but I do have a suggestion so that they can learn to communicate instead of grunt and get frustrated. My family really enjoys the show (and they sell DVDs etc..) called "signing time". Google it, order it, (or watch it on Saturday mornings), and teach it. The website is so fascinating! You do not have to be hearing impared to enjoy it and benefit from it. There are studies that show that infants are brighter than your average child from learning to communicate much earlier. Please visit their website to see what I am saying!

Hope this helps!!

A.

no, you should not worry yet. you should worry only if he is not smiling or returning any love or hugs. this is cause to worry about autism, but not talking until 2 years of age is very common.....

No, you shouldn't worry yet and you shouldn't push (which will only frustrate him). Probably the best thing you could do for you and your husband and your MIL is to find a list that tells you what the developmental milestones are. Here's a link to just one article from babycenter about 16 month olds: http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-16-month-olds-language-a...

babycenter is a great site for information. Just do some searches for what you are looking for. Hope this helps.

My youngest son did this. Now he is a non stop talking machine. He is one of three boys in the house. I was worried about his development a lot. Both of the other boys did everything really early for their age. Then comes Joe with no want or need to talk. We finally figured out that it was because everyone was talking FOR him. His older brother(18 months older) would translate everything. They would talk.LOL So, if it really worries you go take him to see a specialist, but I just waited it out. OMG....he is talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. lol
Best of luck to you!

Have your son evaluated by Early Intervention. It's free and my son was evaluated around 22 months and has had some speech therapy for about 6 months and I can't get him to be quiet now. It is great and alot of insurances pay for it but if not, the state will pay for it. The evaluation is free and they are licensed professionals, speech, physical, occupational, developmental and they basically play with your son at your house for about 1.5 hours. At the end, they tell you what they think. It is sooooo easy and fun for your son too. My husband was the same way and I am so glad I called-it has truly made a difference in my son for the better.

If he's refusing to "talk" and you think he can then why not try teaching him baby sign language so that he can communicate his needs to you? This also helps his brain development and will aid him in learning appropriate behaviors (e.g. asking nicely for things that he wants). If you want to pacify your husband it certainly never hurts to have your son evaluated by Early Intervention. It's free and since it takes a little while to get scheduled your son may be talking by the time the eval rolls around. Just in my personal experience its hard to get kids out of the habit of whining for things even when they do start talking so the earlier they learn to communicate the better.

I would not worry. My friends son did not talk much until two. He would moun or point. MY sisters daughter also does not talk much and she is 2 years old. sometimes they do not talk small phares but come out talking sentences. If you want too you could say to him what is that you want milk... ect.... So when is is whines or grunts you are using the words even though he is not. give it time each child is their own person and he will do it in due time. Relax and enjoy before he starts to talk and talk back too. Then you will what it the other way. Have fun.
M.

If your worried you can have him evaluated either by early intervention or you can contact a speech therapist on your own.

When you say you've heard him use words, do you mean that he used to use words and has "lost" them? That would concern me. No words at all does seem a little unuusual. Not even "M."?

I think most of the people here are right when they say it will all be OK - but I also know of people who ignored signs of problems, so I never advise anyone that it's probably fine if they are worried. (I mean, a worry that continues over time) A parent's worry is a very good indicator.

Most people I've talked to about it seem to think their second kids learned to talk later than the first. Anyway, 18 months seems like a time when a lot of kids acquire new words, if my memory of that time is right! If you aren't seeing some by then, ask your pediatrician. For now, make a note of the words he does have for when the doctor asks. Also, made up words (like if he always calls the cat "ka") as long as the sounds are consistent, count as a word.

HI - this is just a related story more than advice... My son (my second child), literally did not make a sound until he was 2! At the time I didn't think that I should be worried about it. It was just kind of nice to have a quiet child (this included no crying too!). However, everyone else commented - "does he speak, can he speak, I've never heard him make a sound, is he OK", etc.???? I guess I didn't think about it much because he seemed to be communicating fine nonverbally - he was getting his needs across to me and I was understanding him (maybe just that intuitive mommy thing). Also, I just had the gut feeling that he was "fine", and that this was just his personality. In the end I was right. Suddenly at age two he said his first words and I mean wordS - he spoke in complete sentences the first time he spoke! To this day (he is now nine), this is his personality type. He is a "quiet" boy. But his style of learning is to sit back and "absorb" first. Then when he is good and ready and sure that he will be correct and not make a mistake or be wrong, everything comes out. He is a very intelligent boy (doing VERY well in school). For better or worse, he is just different. It was interesting to "figure" him out because he was SOOO different than his sister who is two years older and all girl (she never stops talking!) and while she is very smart too, she learns by trial and error and never making the same mistake twice.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that not every child is "normal" (what exactly is that anyway!). Go with your gut and if all seems fine, he just may be a little different (and I think that is a good thing!).
Best wishes to you both!

Hi Shannon...no, don't worry. He will talk when he is ready. I have known of several children who didn't talk until they were 3 years old and when they started talking, they didn't stop. I would encourage more communication within the family unit and he will soon pick up what to do. Responding to his grunts and whines is not good. Encourage him to at least say yes or no to what you are pointing at and saying what it is. For example: he points to the cupboard where the cereal is at. Ask him, "do you want some cereal?" Wait for a yes or no. Open the cupboard, if his answer is yes, then say and point to each box of cereal and say what it is...ask him, "do you want cocoa puffs?...cornflakes?...trix?...etc...this will show him what it is and he will hear the sound of what it is...it sounds like he is a visual learner...he learns by sight not by hearing. By introducing both sight and auditory learning skills he will learn faster at whichever he is more promiment in at this time. I had an auditory learner and a visual learner. Once I figured out what they were, I knew how to commmunicate with them better. Most men are visual learners and most women are auditory learners but there are cases when that is switched...it is okay either way...it just helps to know which they are so communication can be developed in the right way during the early years. Their learning skills will balance out in the 4th and 5th grade. Just keep talking with your little one as you spend time with him each day. No baby talk, just adult talk as if he would understand, which he will one day. Remember, encourage yes and no answers at this time...make a big deal when he does speak words and rewards are also an incentive...but don't push or prod him...he will resist and get frustrated. Hang in there and be patient. May God bless you and yours...di

Shannon,
My son (now 2 and 8 months) had only about 10 words by the time he was 21 months old. Then it is like a light switch went off and his vocabulary just skyrocketed. To this day, he is incredibly verbal. I didn't do anything special with him to get him to talk -- but I guess he decided when he was ready to vocalize. Plus, I think boys start talking later than girls. One thing I did that I think helped is that I talk to my son about everything. What I mean is that when he picks up his truck, I say, "I see you picked up your truck". I hope that helps and that he starts talking your ear off very soon! :-)

Hi Shannon,

At 16 months, there is absolutely no reason to worry that your child may be delayed developmentally because he is not talking. Many children do not talk until later and this is perfectly fine. Your child is probably hitting the natural stage of grunting/whining and becoming frustrated because he knows what he wants but cannot articulate it yet. One thing that might help him is to teach some basic "baby signs" so he can communicate with you more effectively. There is a lot of info on line about teaching baby signs and the benefits of it. Meanwhile, I'm sure your child will start speaking when he is ready. Please rest assured that your son sounds like he is right on track with his development.

As a teacher, I would recommend having him evaluated for speech. Another friend (teacher, as well) had the same issue, had her son evaluated and found out that he was seven months behind where he should be. After a few months of therapy, he's back on track.

I had the same problem with my 2 younger sons, and I worried as well. We talked to the doctor and he referred us to an Early Intervention group in our area. My 2 sons were tested for hearing at the hospital, as well as tested at home by therapists to see what services were needed. We received speech services for both children until they were 3 years old. The therapist came to the house each week. After they turn 3, you go to the nearest public school to continue speech therapy. My son who is now 4 is attending the public school for speech services, and my 3 year old is talking up a storm now. Since your husband is worried, maybe you can both talk to your child's doctor as well to see what he/she thinks. Good luck with this :o)

Boys gernerally take longer to talk. It seems EVERYONE is worried about this. They will in their own time. There is absolutely no reason to stress out about this. I see it over and over. Disregard the comments of the MIL. She does not know what she is talking about and just making it harder for your family. If there is not improvement by age 2 or so, you could get him checked out by a speech therepist, if it would make you feel better. Even then, 99.9% of the time they will tell you to take a chill pill and not make it worse by obsessing about it. Children pick up on this and it is not helpful. Talk slowly and simply to him. Read books. That is all you need to do.

Take your little boy to the best pediatrician you know. Your son may have a form of autism. Often children will show normal progess and then begin losing their language skills. If it isn't autism, the doctor may also explain to your son that mom won't know what he wants if he doesn't tell her. Good Luck!

Unfortunately you don't know if developmentally he's on track..but I have heard from friends that there are kids that just choose not to talk because they can get their needs met by their mothers because we're so in tuned with their needs and know what they want (with or without words) I would look at other milestones and I bet you'll be surprised that when he does choose to talk (probably around 20 months) He'll come out with 2 phrase words or even more. Tell your husband that although you appreciate his concern, mostly what you're hearing is that he'll be fine (once you research and talk more with your pediatrician. ) Good luck... m

I think 16 months is a little to early to worry about it. I would wait until his 18 month physcilal and discuss it then and ask the dr to write out a script to have him evaluated.

My twin boys (now 21-months-old) weren't talking much either at 16 months, but my pediatrician told me not to worry. The main things to ask are: does he understand what you're saying, can he follow simple directions from you, and is he attempting to communicate (even if it's babbling)? If his language comprehension is good and he's attempting to communicate in some way, he should be fine. Also, maybe he's saying more than you think he is (just because he can talk doesn't mean you'll necessarily understand him). My boys' language skills have really started to take off in the last couple of months, so hang in there; it will happen! You might find "What To Expect: The Toddler Years" helpful, too; it has developmental timelines and talks about language development.

Shannon,

It might be a good idea to get your son tested for autism. My friend's son did not talk, only grunted. When he was two they had him tested for autism, that was his problem. His mother was hurt because she had never heard him say Mom, so they got him tested after my husband suggested it. Early detection helps them develop their speech sooner. He talks now and can make himself be understood. Is your son's hearing ok?