Should I Send My Boys to Kindergarten Next Year?

I have a 6 year old son and I sent him to kindergarten when he was 4. We lived in Arizona and school started before his 5th birthday. His birthday is in August. He is always the youngest in the class but that did not seem to be an issue for me. He is very smart and I wanted to get him into school and a routine as soon as possible. He is now in first grade and just recedived first honors...could'nt be prouder and I know sending him was the right thing to do. He is well adjusted and enjoying school. Send them if they are ready and do not worry about age.

I've read a few of the responses and am right up there with "Send them". My daughter is in Kindergarten now and she has an August birthday. Like you I wondered whether or not I should keep her back, but she did so well in preschool. At parent/teacher conference in November her teacher told me that she had some problems initially, but after about a month it clicked for her (and a couple of other students around the same age) and now she is doing beautifully. You know your boys best, do what you feel is right. I don't believe in the "trend" of holding boys back just because they may be smaller. Good luck!!

Hey, S.! I have a soon to be 7 year old(next week!) son, who is in first grade, a Daughter turning 5 on August fourth, and a daughter who will be one in June. My son turned five the April before he went to kindergarten, and he was fine. Loved it, did magnificently. My daughter will turn 5 on 8/4, and I will be sending her to kindergarten in the fall, hopefully to the same teacher my son had. I definately don't think 5 is too early for school, not for a majority of children. There are certainly those who need to be more "mature" before getting into a setting that is so structured, But for most, mine especially, it has been a wonderful, educational time. Ultimately you know your kids best, If they seem ready, then send them(not that I want to force you back to work sooner!)
My son was one of the youngest in his kindergarten, and I think I had more of an issue than he did. A few children were as old as 7. That, I feel, is too old to try to "train" for school.....Anyway, if you think they are ready, I say go for it, and watch the fruits of your labor bring you many joys in their new discoveries!!!

Good luck, and be confident in your decision, whatever it may be!!

That is the same thing that people told me when I wanted to get my son into kindergarten, his birthday is 9/07/97. But I was determined not to hold my son back for a few days. He is doing wonderful and is in the 5th grade right now. His test scores are equal to or higher than his classmates. He has even been invited to join Project Forward Leap, which is a great opportunity for children his age. If you think that your boys are ready then snd them to school. After all what is the worst thing that could happen, they would repeat kindergarten? I seriously doubt that would happen.

Hello S.,
After spending the last 8 years working in a small K-8 school and seeing the level of academics expected in Kindergarten these days, I would strongly recommend holding them back and giving them the "gift of time". For families who did not give, especially boys, that gift of time, they ended up doing it in the move from elementary to middle school. They remained in our school for 6th grade and repeated 6th when they moved to a private middle/high school program, having wished they had done it in Kindergarten. Sometimes, that gift of time doesn't reveal the benefit until several years down the road. Why take that chance. Setting them up for the best possible experience would be my suggestion.

Best wishes!
G.

Hi S. -
I have a son that was turning five in September. Our cut off in DE is Aug 31st - So I had him tested because I knew he was ready - HE Was very much ready academically but not maturity wise. I did decide to give him that extra year. They have their whole life to move fast forward. God directed me in this path. Go with your instinct and heart. God will direct you as well. My son can tend to be bored academically but I do the challenging at home. I think it is the best decision I made. He goes to the first grade next year. Some parents that did not wait that probably should of are right with mine because they got left behind. Good luck and God Bless your decision.

I am a 2nd grade teacher and used to be a Kindergarten teacher. There are lots of things to think about when deciding to send or hold back your boys. If they go to preschool now, how are they? Do they have the skills they will need for Kindergarten? (letter and number id, counting, etc.) Are they social? Also, many school districts do kindergarten screenings after you register them. If after they are screened, you feel they are not ready, you can always withdrawal them and wait until next year. Finally, some schools also have Transitional first grade (in between kindergarten and first) for those children that are immature or behind their peers, in order to catch up. Or, some decide to have their kids repeat kindergarten. When it comes down to it, you know your kids and if you feel they are ready, then don't worry about what everyone else says, and send them.

S.,
As a former teacher and now mother myself I understand your
thoughts and concerns. I feel that you should make your decision based on your sons knowledge and abilities. As I am sure you know your sons should have a basic understanding of the alphabet, possibly writing some of their letters or name, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. Although my daughter is only 2 1/2 and with an August birthday I know that I will be sending her when she is 5. The socialization amongst fellow classmates is also very important. Go with your motherly instincts as well as that from your teaching experience and you will be happy with your decision. Good Luck!
B.

You are the one who needs to make the decision based solely on whether or not you think your boys are ready, both academically and socially. You should not make the decision based on what other people are doing. If it were my kids, I would send them to kindergarten. You said that you think they will be fine in kindergarten, so send them. Don't hold them back based on a potential problem that doesn't exist and may never exist. I hope this helps.

We made the same decision last year. Our daughter turned 5 on Sept 22. We asked many for advise and ended up sending her even though she tested below her "grade" and was recommended even by the school not to send her. We are happy with our decision. She has a wonderful teacher and is a happy student and progressing nicely. One of my good friends helped us with the final decision by suggesting that the worst that would happen is that she'd repeat kindergarden so we went in with the expectation that she would. It just so happens that she wont. But she will get some help in some areas she is having some developmental needs that would have gone unattended if she hadnt gone to school. Good luck!

Hello S.,
I have a little boy also who has a summer birthday. I was also concerned because the schools here would rather have you wait. My son went to preshool since he was 2 in a different state so he was more than ready to go. He is one of the youngest kids in his class but he is doing well with A's in all his subjects. You know your kids. They can always do kindegarten again if needed. It probably wont be neccesary. Go with your instincts on this. Just because everybody else may be doing it doesn't mean that it is right for you and your boys.
L. R

i can't tell you how your sons are but if you and they think they are ready then it is worth a shot. my son turned 5 last august and i sent him to full day kindergarten (against some peoples opinions) and my son is more advanced than most of his classmates. you need to think about are they mature enough, their behavior, can they sit and do the work, and are they interested in going. only you really know if they are ready (i wasn't completely but am glad i did)

S.,

I wholeheartedly disagree! If you feel your boys are ready for school, send them! My son's birthday is Aug 19th, and he started kindergarten as a 4-year old! He turned 5 the first week of school. He is very bright and is taking advanced classes now, even though he's the youngest in his grade. The thing to think about is, if they are very bright boys, holding them off another year will eventually hurt, as they'll be bored with the schoolwork that is taught in their grade. On the other hand, if you put them in now, always keep in mind that they are the youngest, in case any maturity issues come up.

Good luck!

A.

I truly believe it is a personal decision. My son turned 5 in the middle of July and that was a big question. He was completely ready for school and our program was a full day. I did send him and I don't regret it one bit. He is a very intelligent boy and if I would have held him back, he probably would have been bored and gotten himself into trouble. You really just have to decide for yourself if you feel they are ready. Ask their preschool teacher what they think and feel about the situation. Mine encouraged me to send him because he was up to par with the other children. Some say to hold boys back because they are emotionally slower than girls. They call catch up and equal out. But really, men are always a little emotionally delayed. LOL. Seriously, whatever decision you make will be right for your children, have faith. Good luck.

That really is a tough decision, esp. when you feel your boys are ready to go. I have twin girls who are 4 and they know more than some kids in kindergarten, but they were born in December, so I'm kind of glad the decision was made for me b/c I feel they will be more mature and really ready by the time they go. Are your boys in preschool right now? I think that's an important step - if they've never attended school yet, I'd wait a year and get them into a pre-K program first. Without giving you specific advice, I can tell you that my sister is a teacher and her son was born in July and she waited b/c as a 5th grade teacher, she can absolutely pick out the summer babies in a class who were sent to school at 5 vs. 6 - and it doesn't seem like that maturity level equals out as they get older. As you said, more and more kids these days are being sent to Kindgergarten later, so your boys will not be behind the 8 ball (esp. being August babies) if you wait.
Hope that helps. Good luck!!!

S.,
That is definitely a very personal decision that has to be based on your two boys. Many boys are ready and do very well and it is not fair to hold them back. You really need to focus this decision on what is best for your boys and not what the trend is. I think way too many parents are putting so much pressure on their kids these days with school, and this is just another added pressure.

Good luck.

Hi,

Our 6-year-old son's birthday is August 21st, so we had the same worries, especially since we had some serious doubts about his emotional maturity as he approached the time for us to decide whether to keep him in preschool an additional year, or send him on to kindergarten. The best advice we got was from the folks at the kindergarten who hosted an orientation night for parents of prospective students. They told us to trust the advice of his pre-school teacher, who would have a better sense of his intellectual readiness and how well he was socialized with the other kids.

So, on the advice of the teacher, we went ahead and sent him to kindergarten. He did fine that year. Now he's in first grade; he's the youngest kid in his class, but he's really taken to school and is exceling in reading and math. He's pretty tall for his age, so to look at him you can't tell he's youngest, so maybe that helps too.

When high school comes around, I'm kind of glad he won't be the first kid in his class to get a driver's license...

Trust the teachers, and trust your instincts. Good luck making the decision!

Hi S.,

I have two daughters, both in scool. One is in pre-school, the other one is in 1st grade. I sent them to school when they were about 3 1/2. My oldest one just turned 7 in February. There are many kids in her class that are older than her. She has never felt that she was not old enough to be in this class. In your case, I would say that it depends a lot on what you think. If you think your boys are ready to go to kindergarten, then they are ready. Also, most of the times, the teachers will let you know if they are ready to go to 1st grade.
My opinion would be that if they are ready, let them go. They lear a lot and they have fun with other kids their age.

After not sending my son to school (k or preK) when he turned five (11-28) I regret my decision. He has not had any daycare or preschool and has had a hard time adjusting and catching up to the class. He is now six (& the oldest)and in kindergarten and still struggling. His sister is four and I have decided to send her to the preschool program. So my advice is if you decide to hold your boys back I recomend preschool at least but I think they should be fine. I thought holding my son back would benefit him but I now see I was wrong.

S.,
I think you as a mother and teacher know when it would be best to send your boys to school. Every child developes differently - boy or girl. I had a brother that went early because he was ready - and one that went a little later because he needed a little more time home with mom. If they are ready - send them - get them learning when they want to. I think sometimes boys get a bad rap - not all are slower to develope.

Hi S., My name is S. and I have an 8yr old daughter and a 5yr old son. Let me start out by telling you about my daughter. She has an August birthday too. Her preschool teacher advised me to keep her back and wait one more year before starting Kindergarten. She said that academically she could probably handle it, but she felt growing socially before that move would be to her benefit. I really struggled with this. But then I had 2 thoughts, 1. If her birthday was just 15 days later, she would be automatically held back and 2. If this helped her do better in school, I'd rather have her wait now than in a few years find out that my decision to push her forward was a mistake and that we needed to keep her back at that point. She is currently in 2nd grade and doing great!

Now, my son has an October birthday, so he is automatically held. So next year he will start Kindergarten and then turn 6. He excels at everything he does. Could he have been okay to start Kindergarten this past year if not for the mandatory birthday cut-off, probably, but I have heard from several Kindergarten teachers that this is definitely the best thing for little boys.

In fact, my daughter's Kindergarten teacher mentioned to me one day that he will be keeping his kids back that one year because he can see such a difference in the children who have that extra year vs. the ones who don't.

Bottom line, it's your decision. I'm really happy with my decision. It's only 1 year and this early in their lives they don't realize one way or the other.

Good luck with your decision!
S., WAHM

My friend and I had this debate. Her son is 3 months older than my son and she's holding him back. He's super athletic buy behind in some "book smart" areas where as my child is autistic and over the top smart borderline gifted but social backwards.....it's up to you as a parent. IF the child is ready, the child is ready. Some people hold back due to the "trendy" thing to do. I honestly feel it just hurts the child.
Your choice.
Good Luck

I sent my 5 yr old to lkindergarten (aug bday), and although he's done fine academically, my husband and I wish we would have held him back. He's now in 6th grade and still doing well academically...but there are alot of boys almost 1+yrs older than he is. There are definately maturity issues, none bad, I just think it would be easier for him. Hope this helps you.

My son started kindergarten this fall. He turned 5 on September 26, 4 days before our system's cutoff. He is definitely the youngest, boy or girl. He has been absolutely fine (or better than fine), both academically and socially.

I have met many people who have held their children back a year. Some had concrete, legitimate reasons for doing so; most did it because "everyone else does" or "I thought that's what we're supposed to do with boys."

I think deciding when to send your children to kindergarten should be based solely on the children involved. Are they in preschool? Would another year of that be too boring for them?
Were they evaluated by your school system?

My ultimate two cents' worth: if they're ready to go, then let them go.

There are a pair of twin girls across the street from me who are just finishing their first year of kindergarten (also their first experience in any school setting). Their father said that they were ready and enjoyed the structure. I think you should trust your instincts. No one knows your boys better than you. If you think they are ready, then they are.

Hi S. - I'm the director of Creation Corner, a preschool / kindergarten listed on Mamasource. As an experienced teacher, and the mother of a son born in August, I understand your dilemma! I always advise parents to make this decision with the child's best interests taking the lead. Do not let anyone else or school's rules precede your own judgment. People questioned our decision re: sending our son to Kindergarten "on time", and he, now 28, spent his entire school career in a gifted program, and made the Dean's List throughout college as an engineering major. The other option you have, which Creation Corner and other private schools offer, is to send your boys to a private kindergarten for a year, see how they do, and then move on to first grade or Kindergarten in your neighborhood or chosen school. I tell my grown kids, "Trust your gut!" You already know the answer to your question - but it's yours to reveal, to yourself and others! Best wishes to you in your journey with your children!

My son has a July 2001 birthday. We sent him when he turned 5. I had alot of people telling me to wait but I knew that he was ready and holding him back wouldn't do anybody any good. The boy across the street was born in Nov. of 99 and started the same year as my son and he has some behavioral issues and his mom said that he is real sensitive about him being older than everyone else. Good luck on your decision, but you know them best.
Jen

My daughter is an August 6th baby and she went to school at five. Now she is 13 and we wish we would have waited. She is a smart girl but sometimes I see her struggle with somethings and think maybe if she was in 7th instead of 8th grade she would be handling things much better. So good luck with whatever you decide.

Dear S.,

My suggestion would be to wait another year. My son turned 5 in September and missed the school cut-off date by 2 weeks and although he is now in 1st grade, I am happy that he missed the cut-off. He is in class with a lot of children, boys and girls who have Jan. through July birthdays that were held back intentionally. So, now my son is not the youngest in his class. The trend seems to be to hold the kids back. My son went to a Montessorri preschool so he was more than ready, but you never know when the immaturity will kick in and rumor has it that it hits the boys in 3rd to 4th grade.

Regards,
S.

no i don't think you should wait. you said yourself that they seem ready and as a teacher and a mom, i would think you are the best judge to make that decision. my youngest turned 5 in june and she went to kindergarten that september. she's doing just fine. i also believe that holding a child back because of gender is irresponsible and have no idea when or where that trend came from. most likely from people who don't have any children.

--M.

Hi S.,
I have 3 boys myself and my middle was still 4y going into K.
We lived in MD at the time and they had all day Kindergarten . I felt he was ready..I had never had him in pre-school or head start etc...because I worked from home ..(I am also an RN)...He turned 5 in Sept that year.
The reason he was allowed to enter K at the time was because MD still had an oct 31st cut off.
Today he is a very young 3rd grader at 8. He will be 8 entering 4th grade next year..LOL
He is amazing, he actually learns and has better grades than my 5th grader. A mother knows best..If you feel they are ready ..I say don't hold them back.
and don't let the teachers tell you either ..at the time my son could not even identify all letters in lower case..I was worried , but I thought that's why they are going to school right!...
Anyway..Now I have my last son who has to wait till this year to go to K. He is already 5 a late dec b-day. and he would have done just fine in K this year , but again we are now in PA chambersburg and because of the sept 1st cut off ...he hung out at home with me again..so then I will have a 6 year old Kindergardner and an 8 year old 4th grader LOL....
Good luck. I say let them go...if they are excited...
M.

I also have a boy that turns 5 on August 11th. My husband and I are not going to send him this year to kindergarten. He is academically ready, but it would probably be best for him to wait. He still needs some assistance with fasteners on clothing. I am also a teacher. As a teacher I would recommend it if you are having doubts. Academically, problems do not usually show themselves until around 2nd grade. Hope that this helps.

Hi S.,
This surely can be a tough decision; as I think all boys are different, as you know. :0) I have two boys and another boy on the way....my son Andrew is 7 now...his b'day is October so went to K while turning 6. Best decision we made for him, as he does not struggle with anything academically or socially. But he didn't make the cut off anyway.

My son Douglas will turn 5 actually on Monday, and is Pre-K this year, so he will fall right into K at a great age. But again, timing is all key. A friend of mine, sent their son to K when he turned 5, but felt he needed another year, so sent him back to K this year; he is doing great.

It's truly all up to you and how you feel about your twins at that moment. One option, if there is a half-day K program available, that may be good and if they aren't ready to move on, full-day K the next year. Or if they excel, that's great!

Good luck in whatever you decide. I feel you'll know exactly what to do. :0) Sincerely, C. B.

I am an August baby and went to school "on time" because I was really ready, in fact I got very bored with school cause I already knew all of "that stuff" so it became redundant. I think that if you feel your kids are ready for school and they are of age you should only do what you feel is right in your heart. You don't want them to feel rejected by being too young but they could also be rejected next year for being so much bigger!you are thier mother and only you would know what is right for your kids education!! my biggest piece of advice is do not do simply what everyone else is doing!! That is not a good rule for parenting!

first of all, you need to forget about trends and what others are doing. if they are ready then you need to talk to them about it. believe it or not, you will get your answer from them. if they are excited and willing you should encourage that. if they are intellectually ready is what is most important. if they have taken thier kindergarten tests and pass with flying colors then send them. they are ready and most likely willing.

Hi S.
I live in southern PA and it is also "trendy" here to hold your child back (so to speak) before starting them in kindergarten. I really do not agree with that unless your child has a specific issue or learning problem. I have 4 kids and my youngest has a late July birthday. I went against the "trendy" advise to keep him back in PreK4 for an additional year....we sent him to K this school year. He is the youngest in his class, and is doing extremely well academically and socially. He excels in sports also, even though he is the smallest. I also have a daughter with an August birthday, we went on the advise of the PreK teacher years ago and held her back and I have to say now...looking back on the situation, I would have done things differently. I think that if YOU feel that your boys are ready for K, then by all means give it a shot. The worse thing that can happen is that they would repeat K the following year. I do see that all of these older kids who have those summer birthdays and have waited an extra year to attend K....they also seem to be bored with what is going on in school, and I personally think, it is because they belong in the first grade! Good luck!

Hi there, i had a similar situation, so i put my boy in a preschool program to help him get ready for kindergarten, and i must say it has really helped him along in reading and even some addition of small numbers, and his social skills are much better..it was a 3 day a week program, but i think because of the preschool he is ready for a full day of kindergarden next year hope this was helpful
thanks S.

Just a thought -- my Mom taught kindergarten for 37 years in a local public school system and ALWAYS said that boys who are not at least 5 1/2 when entering kindergarten should NOT start that school year. If she had her way, she would have held ALL boys back giving them a stronger start when they are 6. Most of them are not ready socially or emotionally and thus struggle from the beginning to the end of that year. It's your call -- just wanted to give you some input from my "kindergarten experienced Mom."

I say go with your instinct and forget the trend. If you think they are ready, then give them the opportunity to continue to grow. You mentioned how would it be for them to be the youngest? On the flip side, how would it be for them being the oldest the following year? At least with enrolling them at 5 years old, you may have the option to hold them back another year if they are not ready for the 1st grade. There are so many factors that will impact them regardless (individual personalities, teacher's teaching style paired with their own learning style, class size, class dynamics, ...). I know I am taking the chance on my 4 1/2 year old son who turns 5 on the latter part of July.

I am a kindergarten teacher and have heard this question asked many times. I typically tell parents to give their child the gift of "time." Allow them to play without worries for another year. Children have years of schooling ahead of them. Why rush it?

Hi S.,

I don't know if my story will help, but I have two boys with July birthdays. One is 11 and one is 2. When the older one had just turned 5 he went to KG...he moved along through 4th grade when I decided to hold him back to give him a year to mature a bit. For his personality I don't think being the youngest in the class worked. He's totally brilliant, but wasn't so much interested in applying himself when there were kids in the class who were so much more advanced them him. (Some were almost a year and a half older.) So we homeschooled him for a year, and he's doing great now. He's at the top of his new class, and his confidence is great, and he's emotionally on level. For him, I think holding him back from the start would have been best, but it's so hard to know.

Now we have our little 2 year old, and we wonder what we'll do with him. His personality is totally different...he already counts and recognizes all his letters, colors, shapes, etc...he loves books, helping out, and puzzles. So we're thinking of starting him in KG when he turns 5 and seeing how he does. We could always keep him in KG another year if we think he needs the time to mature.

From my experience, I wouldn't worry about pushing them academically as much as making sure they are emotionally mature enough. The academics come regardless, but there's nothing worse than feeling like your child is struggling because they just need more time to grow emotionally. I guess I also figure that there's so much pressure on kids these days to excel, and I don't see anything wrong with letting them go at their own pace...

GOOD LUCK!

My son also turns 5 this August - the 5th. I will be sending him to Kindergarten. Many people I have talked to - mostly teachers themselves tell me to wait. But, I think he would just be bored if he waited another year. I stay at home with him and have taught him all of his letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. He is in preschool right now and is very bright. He is already adding and subtracting on his own - simply out of curiosity. Also, I figure if he needs a little extra help I can help him at home. (I actually went to school for El. Ed.) And you being a teacher, could probably do the same. Bottom line - you know your sons. Follow your instincts.

I was also given the same advice for my son who was born in August. I waited to send him until he was 6. He was bored in kindergarten and had some behavioral issues I think because they couldn't keep his attention. He is now 9 in the 4th grade and will be 10 this August. I asked him what he thought, he said he was glad we waited. He is very bright and is a straight A student. He thinks that having that extra year was a good thing. I think the decision is yours. Sending them early does save on day care costs but they say by about 3rd grade the boys start to fall behind. Personally I would wait. Give them that extra year with you to mature and become confident in learning and social skills. N. S Erie,PA

I say send them, as long as they're ready. My brother was an August baby who went early and the biggest problem he faced was that the mini football cutoff was different than the school's so he was a year behind in football. He's now 26 with a bachelor's degree in sociology from Temple, coaching wrestling and tennis, while working on his master's for secondary education. I think the bottom line is that no one knows your kids better than you, and if they're ready, you shouldn't hold them back just because they're a few months younger than some of the other kids.

I cannot believe the number of responses you have received in such a short time! HOT TOPIC! Your head must be spinning with the varied advice!

I think this is an individual decision for sure...I think there are cases where it makes the most sense to "give the gift of time" and others where the children clearly should go forward.

One teacher told me that if you have any hesitation, give the extra time. She said that this would not only help in the younger grades, but perhaps more importantly during the older years.

I would talk to your boy's current teacher and or preschool director to get some feedback. Still, in the end, it's you that know them best. I would go with what feels right and know that you'll make it work no matter what you decide.

We were in a similar situation and found the decision to be quite stressful. Don't let it get you down. It will all work out one way or another and you'll be there to help!

We have 4 girls. Our 24 year old and our 12 year old were both born on August 2nd. We held the older of the two back a year -- by sending her to a "PRE-K" at the local school. It meant she could go to school, and she didn't stay behind, but she moved from pre-k to k and then 1st grade. She was an A student, and is now teaching high school French, and is working in France this summer.

her "twin" went to school at age 5. that district had an all-day kindergarten, which she hated because she really like to play. and now, in 7th grade, she just isn't organized enough. She's smart enough, but she does her homework and loses it, she's gotten an F and a D this year-- when our other three have gotten nothing less than B's all their lives. I really wish I'd held her back a year, for lots of reasons, but it's too late to have her stay back without a social crisi on our hands.

I would say that having your child be more mature than the rest of the class during his school years is a plus you will never regret. Conversely, if your son(s) are the youngest in the class, you may live to regret it no matter how brilliant they are.

We have a 14 year old who was born in November, and literally IS the oldest in HER grade. She is a top achiever, and doesn't get into the craziness other junior high girls get into. I don't know if that's personality or age, but there's a definate difference between her life as the oldest in her class and her sister's as the youngest.

I would wait. Especially with boys, I think you should wait. They are more immature (I have a son and two daughters) and there would be children more than a year older than them in the class. I wish I had waited with my youngest, a girl whose birthday is July. (The deadline is Sept.1 here)I think she would have benefited from another year at home.

My oldest's birthday is August 22, I chose to send him to pre-k instead of Kindergarten. It was the best decision. He is now in 1st grade and doing very well. My biggest reason for sending him to pre-k and then to kindergarten was maturity.

I have one boy who started kindergarden at almost 5 and I had to hold him back in 2nd grade. So my next boy he could have started early too but I waited till he was 5 almost 6

I know your dilema. Last year my son seemed so ready for school. But his birhtday fell a few days past the cut off. I was devastated. I really wanted him to start kindergarten when he was five not when he was just about to turn six. Anyway, we kept him home this past year. I am amazed at how ready he is now. A lot has changed this year for him and I think had I not waited he would have really struggled. Hi retention and comprehenion are so much better now. He seems to have much more concentration than he had last year. I think we made the right choice and I am so glad I kept him home just one more year. It has been a great time for us.
I hope this helps you in your decision.

~J.

I have a daughter who turned five December 28 of 07. Although she is able to start school this fall, I'm electing to wait until next year to send her. Currently she is very bright. She knows her ABC's, can spell her full name and address, counts to 100 and she can also add/subtract smaller sums. Most of my friends with children her age don't understand why I would want to keep her home another year when she is already very smart. In my case, although she is smart, I don't think she is emotionally ready. I look at it this way, if she can do all of this now, imagine how much more she will learn at home over the next year and how much more her brain will be developed which would put her in a much better position for learning when she does start school. She will be much more mature emotionally and intellectually, which will enable her to overall do so much better than she would right now. She will still be within the average age of the other children starting so throughout her school years she will still have the same interests as the others.
My mother waited with myself and my two brothers, we all turned six shortly after our first year of kindergarten began, and we were all in the top of the class throughout our school years and we all graduated in the top 10% of our respective classes. We could manage the change of being in school better than most of the other kids and we were able to understand and grasp the concepts being taught much better than those who had turned five just before beginning kindergarten. This also led to us being in advanced classes throughout our school years and two of us were in gifted classes which opened more educational opportunities and experiences overall. I was a very shy child, having an easier time learning, due to developmentally being ahead of the class, gave me not only confidence, but helped me to make friends and open up by helping others with their work. It also made me excited about going to school and learning something new. Other children who had difficulty learning often fought with their parents about going to school. The only set back I remember about waiting to start was that I was naturally tall and being a little older than the others I stuck out like a bean pole! I'm greatful that my mother chose to wait to send me because the benefits to not only my education, but my life overall were awesome. I'm not trying to say that waiting is going to make your child a genious (I sent my first child a year late and she still struggles), but I don't see how it could hurt. Some parents are so excited about getting their kids out of the house that they don't stop and think of the benefits to keeping them home for an extra year. I'm glad to hear you're considering it. Good Luck!

I turned 17 a week after I started school in my senior year, so I graduated at 17. I was no where prepared to be cut loose to the world at 17. That's what I think about with my children.

I have 5 children. My oldest just turned 21. His birthday was in March and would have graduated high school at 18. He had some other problems and had to be sent away to a boot camp school. My 12 year old has his birthday in May. He'll turn 18 at the end of his senior year.

I have triplets who turned 3 in October. We had been living in NC for several years and the cut off date there is the end of November, so I wouldn't have thought twice about having them start Kindergarten then, but would have been concerned about them graduating high school at 17. I didn't know we had a choice to hold our children back. Here in PA at this school district, the cut off date is an early Oct 1. Mine turn 5 Oct 7. We'd have to take them in and have them tested and prove they're ready. One of my three lags behind a bit so if one wasn't ready we'd keep them all back. But now that they don't have to go to school at age 5, we've decided to just keep them back so they can graduate at 18, and be better prepared for the world. No one knows what their attitude will be when they graduate high school no matter how well we raise them and if they decide to leave home after graduation, we'd rather them be 18 rather than 17. It adds an extra year on me with raising triplet, lol, but it's worth it in the end.

My trio were also born 2 months early, which is typical, so although most things they are on target for their age, there are things here and there that they lag a bit behind in and is expected.

There should be a list of things that they would be tested on to qualify for Kindergarten. Get a copy of that and see where they stand. If they are more than ready, let them go. If they're borderline or just are mastering these things before Kindergarten then keep them back. Do you have to notify the school if you decide to hold them back?

You can also home school them yourself that year you're holding them back. There's a great site called Letter Of The Week at www.letteroftheweek.com where you can get all the info for free to home school. You can take 30-40 minutes out of your day, Monday thru Friday, at that age to keep them up to date on what they should know and help them be ready to go. The site is set up for babies through school age kids. I recommend it for everyone! I use it with my triplets and you can tweak it to fit your needs.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

My oldest son's birthday was July and I was asked if we were sending him or not, he was ready why wouldn't I? He is now in first grade and top of his class. I am glad I listened to my gut. My second son missed the cut off because his birthday is the end of September, he is a different type of child from my oldest and is doing well with being "held back", he starts Kindergarten next fall just before he turns 6.

If you feel your sons are ready then I would say put them in. Our school tests you in, so if you do not pass you have other options, summer school before Kindergarten or sending your child to preschool for another year.

Hi S.,
I was in the same situation a couple of years ago, along with many of my friends. I did send my son to Kindergarten based on two things. First, his preschool teacher said he was ready both academically and socially. I could see this for myself, as well. Second, I looked at the kids a year younger than him that he would be with if I held him back...I could not see him with them at all. They all seemed so much younger!

It was the best choice I ever made. He is in 1st grade and doing wonderful. I believe that if I separated him from his peers, he probably would not have done that well.

I definitely see the other side. It is better to keep them back before Kindergarten rather do it once they are in school...this would put more of a stigma on them and definitely be harder for them to understand. If you do decide to keep them out this year, you could send them to a preschool if they don't already go or if they do, maybe switch schools to give them a different atmosphere and make them feel like it's just another step before Kindergarten.

Bottom line, every situation is different and you really have to do what's right for you and your children.

Good luck with your decision!
K.

Hi S.!
My twin boys went to kindergarten full time this year. They will be 6 in early May (although they were two months early, so they should have been born in early July)....bottom line, they were not ready. Socially, they are advanced, and have excellent verbal skills, but they have really struggled with fine motor skills. I was very surprised how much was required of them during kindergarten -- daily homework...including writing 1 to 100, which was just one piece out of 3 pages of homework. There have been a lot of tears and struggles....coloring in the lines is difficult for them, and they struggle to cut circles. They seem to "take longer" than the other boys (most of which are already turned six), and the girls make beautiful pictures seemingly without much effort. I would also say that they have struggled emotionally with a "long day", they have told me that they are not ready. Next year my husband and I are sending them to half day kindergarten to catch up. I also have a neighbor with twin boys that didn't go to kindergarten until they were six (and they were almost 65lbs. each, and about a foot taller than my sons)....and they are glad they gave them that extra year....and I hear first grade is very challenging...so I'm very glad that my kids are going to kindergarten again. I hope that helps?

I also have an August birthday going to K next year. Thomas did well in pre-K, but he is smaller than most of the kids in his class and my fourth child, so I was worried too. I decided to meet with his teacher to help me decide, and, while there is no crystal ball, we both agreed after talking about the social and physical aspects of school as a well as the academic that Thomas will be fine.

Hi S....I am new to this site...read your question and I have mixed feelings on the subject. I am a mom of 4 boys 13,11,8,5...ages of june/july1 this summer. I started my three oldest when they were 5 and am going to start my youngest this year(even though he was born june 30...9wks early). Here is what i have found...my oldest has struggled through every year except this year(7th grade) he has gotten more mature and we have gotten extra help for him in english and math. My 11yr old has sailed by every grade and scores advanced on every state test he has taken. His biggest problem is that he is too smart and tries to sneak by w/o putting in effort...too concerned about his social life sometimes...lol My 8 yr old is about the same as my 11yr old with the exception of his reading. He has been in reading remeidal since kindergarden. Now all that taken into consideration....I will be starting my baby this fall and here is why...He is too advanced for pre-school, he has older brothers that have taught him social skills and if he is not where he needs to be by the end of K, I will just have him go back...its K not upper elem or secondary. Every professional I have talked to about holding back recommends that you do it before 2nd grade. Here are the cons...they will always be the youngest, it does seem to take them that extra half year to catch up to the older children in their grades. All in all it depends on what works for your family. If you feel that they are ready to go and you are able to go back to work, increasing your families income, make that decision with their father and enjoy...they grow up too quickly...

Hope this helps in some way...and please excuse the english mistakes...lol

D.

S....I have mixed feelings on this...here's my two cents for what it's worth...

When my oldest son (now 12) was ready to start school we were living in Maryland. The cutoff to start school was 12/31 - his b-day is 12/27. They wanted him to start school at 4 and turn 5 at the end of Dec. I was beside myself! We elected to send him to private school for a Pre-K/Kindergarten program that then offered Pre-1st...kind of tucking the extra year in before starting 1st grade. Great, right? except that he tested out of the Pre-K/K class the first day and they needed to move him up. I told them that was fine, but they had to figure out what to do with him the following year because I wasn't sending him to 1st grade. Academically he was very strong...emotionally, not so much. We saw this over and over with one of his best friends who had a January B-day...they were 2 weeks short of a full year apart.

He wound up spending two years in that class - it was pretty much self-paced so he kind of goofed off the first year and had more focus the 2nd year. It was absolutely the right decision for us - but all through the first year I was in emotional agony! I didn't know what the right thing to do for him was...he was academically ready for 1st grade and I'm sure he could have held his own, but it just didn't feel right. We considered all kind of options including the Waldorf School - to give him something completely different...we also batted around just sucking it up and sending him to 1st grade...but I couldn't do it. In the end decided to keep him where he was and it worked out just like we hoped. He started 1st grade with confidence and was always a step ahead rather than running to catch up. When we moved to PA, he was the same age as everyone else because of the earlier cutoff date.

During that year, I spoke with what felt like a zillion people about this...I met many who said they wished they had waited, many that said they were glad they waited, many that said sending them right on the cusp worked out fine for them - but I NEVER met a single parent who said they wished they had pushed through and not given them the extra year. This went a long way in my book.

All of that said...my daughter's b-day is in October and started K-garten last year - I was so thankful I didn't have to make a choice for her. I could have pushed through and started her a year earlier - but I wanted her to have every advantage. Again, I feel this was the right decision. She is at the top of her class and is confident in every aspect of her life. In kindergarten last year, I was in the classroom at least once a week. Most of her class had b-days in May-July...I could see such a difference in the age. In 1st grade I can still see a big difference in the kids with the b-days later in the year. By the time they reach around 3-4th grade, I believe they level out regardless of when they were born...but the difference is definitely there in the lower grades.

I think for me the best comparison I have had with both my older kids is the kids who fall right on either side of the cutoff - how much of a difference is there in their peer group because of the age difference. How will a July 31st b-day interact with a Sept. 2nd b-day when they are nearly a year apart?

My last thought is this...for us, figuring out what to do with our older son was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. It was the first time it really hit me that, as parents, we have the responsibility of making life altering decisions for another human being - and I was panicked about making the wrong decision. The final kicker was that I might have been willing to send my 4 year-old to kindergarten, but I was not willing to send my 17 year-old to college. My husband's b-day is in late September and not waiting on kindergarten is the only mistake my MIL will admit to making - he went to college at not quite 18...and...let's just say it didn't work out so well the first time through - he was young and away from home...and a teenage boy (perhaps that sums it up).

Sorry for the novel...whatever you do will work out well for your kids. You know your kids and you know what they can handle. They will have many peers extremely close in age however you do it...and they will have each other. The decision is hard because it's not a "what shoes will I wear today" kind of decision...follow your heart - anything you hear from anyone else is what fits for THEIR kids...not yours. :)

I think that it depends on the children. If they are not showing signs that they are not ready, let them go. I sent my twin boys when they were 5 and they did great (they are May babies). The boys are now in third grade and straight A students and they love school. I think as a parent you can see the signs if they are not ready to go.

So many variables to consider. Is it half day or whole day? Half day might be easier for them to get used to. Do have the option of having them evaluated for Kindergarten, then deciding based on the scores?
I placed my 5 yr old son in K (a May birthday) and was pleased that he enjoyed it so, but maturedly, he was not ready for 1st grade at the end of that year, so he went to a transitional first grade. He is struggling a little in that class but at least the district was sensitive to the fact that all learners are not the same.
There are plenty of parents holding the spring birthday kids another year so that they're 6 1/2 when they start K, but that's they're own perrogative. Remember that most K curriculums have changed so much into a more academic, you-must-be-writing-by-the-end-of-the-year mentality.
good luck, and follow your intuition.
J.

If the school says they are old enough to go and you think they are ready, I would send them. my daughter started kindergarten when she was 5 and she and the kids in her class were pretty much all the same age. She did fine and is still doing well along with all the boys in her age group.

I am also the mom of twin boys who will turn 5 in December, so the decision is already made for me. If you think they are ready I say go for it!!! You know them better than anyone. My other 2 children have birthdays in July and August and I sent them when they were 5 and they did fine. I am just curious if you are seperating them or keeping them together. That seems to be the big issue w/ twins.

Have you thought about home schooling? That way your concerns about your son's safety and the local trend of holding boys back is addressed. The Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA)can give you more information on the homeschooling requirements in your state. ( www.hslda.org )
Another thought is a private school. I am presuming you where writing about sending them to public school. A private school may have different results for boys.
Hope this helps..

I have a son with a birthday at the begining of July. I waited to send him to kindergarten until he was 6 because I have noticed that boys in general are less ready for kindergarten. My son's preschool teacher told me when he was 4 that he would not be ready when he was 5 so I waited and he is doing really well. On the other hand I have a friend who sent her son to kindergarten when he had just turned 5 and he has been struggling all year and will be put into a transitional first grade next year because he did not do very well.
For me I think that it is better for boys with summer birthdays to wait that extra year.

Dear S.,
I had nearly the opposite experience of Karen. I went to a full-day K-4 program. When my family moved I went to K-5 somewhere else. My mother went to the open house and discovered that I could already read ALL the books in the reading curriculum for that year. When she questioned the teacher, she was told that I would just do what everyone else would do. She said not long ago that if she had it to do over again she would have pushed for them to put me ahead a grade or give me something more challenging.
My son will be five the end of April and I am sending him to kindergarten this fall at our church's Christian school. He was speech-delayed and we are currently waiting for his annual evaluation. Even if he qualifies for special services, I am still planning to send him, and simply transport him to his services myself. My reasons are two-fold. One reason is that he was in an LIU preschool program three mornings a week and learned much more than preschool. As a Christian, that was VERY disconcerting. Secondly, I would rather risk him having to repeat a grade than have him feel like he never had the opportunity to attend school with his chronological peers. Just my point of view.
Bottom line, weigh the pros and cons for your particular kids. Why would you hold them back? Why would you put them in? If you don't feel that they NEED to be held back, don't! (The'll never be able to get that year ahead, but they can always repeat if it truly becomes necessary.) Good luck and God bless!

My daughter will be 6 in June and she started school this year(and she's the youngest in her class)we see no problems out of her.She's more advanced in things the other students but we see nothing wrong with her being the youngest.And my 13year old is the youngest in his 7th grade class...we have no issues there either.
good luck

My daughter turned 5 last August and i had the same concerns as you. She was considered one of the youngest in the group, as well as being one of the smallest (she is very petite). After speaking to many in the education field along with other mothers, we decided to wait. She has been attending a 5-day per week Pre-K program at Good Sheperd Preschool in Whitehall. She has done wonderfully. She is beginning to read and writes like a Kindergartener already. I believe my decision was the best thing i could have done for her. I am so pleased with the strides she has made. The school and it's teachers have done a great job... they have truly prepared my daughter to succeed. Good luck with your decision....

what is the school cutoff date?

The schools usually do some sort of teasting to see if ready

have they gone to preschool? how are they with other kids? socially ready?

Are they on the small side?

My son turned 5 this last August (and he was a premie, should have been a Nov baby!) and we decided to send him to Kindergarten. He hit all his marks academically and his preschool teacher thought he was ready. He is doing excellent in Kindergarten. He's reading books by himself, and has moved from addition to subtraction and he is the best behaved boy in the class (as told to me by his teacher). He is the smallest in the class, but he has some good friends and is doing well.

The older boys seem to be more of a discpline problem, I don't know why. My son's personality is also much more of by the books kind of kid. So he really doesn't make waves. I think it really depends on your kid.

My son also goes to a Montessori school, I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I also went to 1st grade when I was 5 (that was when you had to be 6 by Jan 31, my B-day was the 30th). I also didn't want him to get bored by the same thing over and over. He always steps up to the challange.

Good Luck with your decision!

I have a son with an August birthday and we struggled with the same decision. I think it is an individual decision and there is no cut and dry answer. We decided to keep our son back because we did not feel he was ready for the change socially. He was still very much a Momma's boy and very shy. He still did a bit more crying and whining than we thought was appropriate for school. He was enrolled in a very good preschool and was more than ready academically. We just could tell he was not ready. I think you have to go with your gut. We have a nephew with the same exact August birthday who did move on to Kindergarten as soon as he turned 5. He is thriving. He was the oldest child and a very eager learner. My son was a second child who I think did not want to give up being the "baby." I think you just have to listen to your gut. Take a step back and look. It sounds like you believe they may be ready. I had a September birthday and have a very successful career (started K at 5). My brother and father have Dec birthdays, started K at 5 and both became physicians. Don't listen to the local trend - listen to your boys and figure it out from there. You know what's best!

Hi. I am the mother of 3 and had the same question when my oldest was 5. He seemed by all means ready- academically, socially, emotionally. However I did wait on hearing some good advice and I know now that I made the right choice. Being older, he is better able to handle himself in many of the situtions that occur in school & has better self-esteem. I feel that being more mature, he handles himself better both socially and academically. He also had an advantage academically because things came easier for him and that trend continues. Another example is team sports. He is not the smallest on the team or at a disadvantage because he is. I work in the middle school and can see where a child would have benefitted from beginning a year later. They are simply more mature and thus ready to take on all sorts of challenges...especially boys. Kindergarten is the best and simplest way to get that extra year. If you really feel strongly, you can always put your twins in a Kindergarten program at a daycare center and then begin them again in Kindergrten in their school district. Just being in a daycare versue their school is enough to differentiate the idea for them. Good Luck.

Keep them home. My mom taught Kindergarten for 30 years. They might be ready academically but socially and emotionally it will catch up with them. Boys mature later than girls and it is much better for the boys to be held back. I have 8 children. We have one son. His birthday was the end of July. I held him back. He's doing wonderfully! I was a July baby and was always tops in my class academically, however, socially I was backward. Ironically my best friends were born in June and August and were in the same boat as me. To develop a well rounded male, hold him back and wait until he is more mature. He'll thank you when he's in high school!

Hi S.,
I have a son in kindergarten now, he turned 5 last July.
I also had some concern about when to send him to school but
after talking with his preschool teacher, I felt that he
was ready to go. I'm a SAHM so its not like I needed to send
him so I could go back to work or anything, he just seemed more than ready socially and acedemically. He grew up going to Sunday school every weekend and did very well in preschool so I knew he could handle the structure and social situations.
He's doing wonderfully and if ever I see he's having difficulty in the next few years I'll do what's best for him then. (Whether homeschooling him or holding him back)
Do what is best for your boys and don't let anyone guilt you into one way or the other.
God bless!!

Really, there is no right nor wrong. Importantly for the kids to be ready, then parents will be ready to send them to the schools. No child is alike. My niece was READY to go to school at age 2 1/2! My daughter wasn't ready 'til age 5. Now my daughter is 14 and doing well at her school without need my helps to do with her homeworks. She gets up on her own and does her homeworks without me nag her. The ages are just numbers. *grin*

Hi S.!
I suggest sending them. My son's birthday is 8/15 and when the kindergarten "should he stay home or should he go" thing was a hot topic for people to ask us, this was a no brainer for us. Why would I not give my son a chance to excel? After all, if he struggled in school, that is the best place for him to be for extra learning skills and support right??? If he was really not ready and failed kindergarten, at least he would know what to expect the following year. You are a mother and a teacher, you cannot convince me that you never read to the boys, sang the Abc's, count, talk about colors, shapes and ask the boys if they know where they live and what their phone number is all day long. Stop listening to every crazy woman out there afraid to cut the cord. You are not raising "droolers" right? Send them to school, it's time.
My son IS and was the youngest in his class and he is excelling, has A+'s, is very well liked. His only complaint is he is the shortest in class.
They sound ready.

I had the same issue with my daughter who will be 5 on 4-23. My brother was the youngest in his class when he graduated in 1990 being only 17 and he hated it. He was always teased because he was the youngest. He did wonderfully academically but socially he was behind because he was the smallest, youngest in the class. Taking my bigger brothers advice i decided to wail to send her to kindergarten and this fall she will go to preschool then kindergarten. My husband and I did the math and she now will have just turned 18 when she graduates. Maybe that is an option that would work for you too.

Obviously, it is a personal choice, but it was the best thing we did for our now 11 y.o. daughter. A couple of things to take into account: Sports age. For most sports you have to be the age by August 1. So that means they will not play sports with the kids in their class, but with the grade level below.

For most kids, the problem with being the youngest kid starts in third grade. By then it is too late to hold them back. For many it is a challenge to keep up with both the work load and the emotional social side.

Lastly, we thought if we has a choice for our daughter to go off to college at barely 18 or 19, we hope she will make better decisions with an extra year at home with us guiding her.

Academically and socially she has blossomed and is always one of the top students in her class. My husband who was extremmely hesitant, is so grateful we gave her the extra time.

D.

I really think it's a personal choice. yea there are some kids that are older but it's about readiness. If you think they are ready and will do well, then by all means send them. Don't go along with the crowd. In my daughter's grade (4th) there are only a hand full of boys who are a year older. Do what you think is best for your boys.

I faced the same problem this year with my triplets. They turned 5 on September 19 and everyone told me to wait. I am also an elementary school teacher so I have some experience with children with early birthdays. Some are fine and others struggle. I sent my kids to kindergarten and it was the right thing for us. I think you have to go with your gut. You know your children better then anyone else. I would have done my children a diservice by keeping them out of school. Good luck with your choice. I loved to know how your guys make out!

They don't stay little forever and there is not need to rush them through. If you have any doubts, which it seems you do, I would hold them back. My youngest has a June birthday and I kept him back. Although he is very bright, he was so much more ready socially a year earlier. My oldest is in middle school - I have talked to parents of his friends who wished they would have kept their sons back a year as they are struggling socially, emotionally and academically now. Holding them back in middle school would be devastating to them.

Send them if you think they are ready. holding them back and making them older will not make them leaders or superior. Kids' personalities shine through no matter what. Good luck.

I sent my 4 year old son to pre-K this year through the township. The program was wonderful, he has so much fun and has learned alot. I can not believe by time you go into Kindergarten you need to know how to write your name and everything. He is the baby of the group in fact just turned 4 2 days before he started so he is a little behind on some things, his fine motor skills we are working on all the time. And then after talking to the teacher a few days ago she recommended summer school. So now in July he will go to school for an hour and half 4 days a week. I think it is wonderful, its something to keep him busy during the summer and it will work on the skill he needs help with. If your kids seem ready let them go and then if the do not seem ready for 1st grade then hold them back. But you never know the potential until you try and see what they can do.

I think it's hard when youlet your children go to school at first. I don't know if you can ever be sure if it's best for them, it's always a question. My sox year old is in half day kindergarten and loves it. I am glad he likes it so much otherwise I would have the guilty feeling. As it is, I feel guilty about finishing my degree this year and working next year while he goes to school all day. I don't know why, but I am always wanting to be with him, so he knows I am near. Silly huh?

Is half day kindergarten an option in your school district? It is likely that your kids will do fine in full day kindergarten... and remember that nothing is ever written in stone. As parents we have to be flexible and answer to the individual needs of our kids as they come up. I opted to home school my January boy in second grade because he had stomach aches every morning at the thought of getting on that school bus. He went back to school for third grade and excelled in everything, maturity caught up, and now he is in college for engineering.
Good luck,
N