Should I Say Something to Boss?

Are you permitted or encouraged to speak up when your boss is talking to a client? For example, if the boss says "she will be handling that part of the assignment" (referring to you), would it be out of line for you to extend your hand to the client for a handshake, and say something brief like, "hello, my name's ____". Or if the boss says "someone else might be at the front desk", could you briefly interrupt and say "hello, I'm ___ and I'm often at the front desk. I look forward to seeing you"?

If the boss squelches any effort by you to simply introduce yourself (quickly, professionally, not taking over the meeting), then that might give you more insight. If the boss, however, acknowledges you when you introduce yourself, then maybe it's just a matter of everyone adjusting to having a new co-worker.

I'd try that before bringing anything else up with the boss.

Is she trying to make clients feel that the company is larger than it is? Sometimes small owners don't want to say, "We only have 2 employees in the front." She might also be allowing for the possibility that someone else could be moved up there if you get busy. Or maybe she forgets your name when she gets nervous, or maybe she's being dismissive.

I think you can say, "Yes, and that person is most likely to be me. I can assure you that I will take good care of you, as (boss) expects." I'm assuming that, if you are sitting there with her, the client has already been introduced to you, so I wouldn't repeat my name in that case. But if she doesn't introduce you clearly, as you shake hands, just repeat your name, "D. J____" with your "nice to meet you" or "welcome" line.

Do you have a business card? If so, it's good to give that to the clients either at point when she says this, or as the clients are leaving. It's professional and helps them remember your name in case they forgot it!

It's a very small company.
I think your boss likes to be seen as 'the face' of the company.
It's sort of an ego thing and might get better eventually if your boss feels more secure in her position.
She might feel that you are an extension of the company but she IS the company - so you need less identification than she does.
It's not unheard of.
It bothers you - so you need to find a way to talk about this in a way where you have a name in meetings but are not perceived as usurping the bosses position.

"Susan, I think our meetings with clients go well, but when you say 'she' who are you talking about? It might be more clear to me and the client if you mention my name or the name of who ever you are referring to if you have someone else in mind so there's no question who you expect to be the point of contact."

How old is she? She might just be inexperienced in how to act professionally. You might just interject and say, Oh I'm sorry I wasn't at the desk when you walked in but how can I help you?
Maybe your boss doesn't want to always use your name for confidentiality reasons too. When I worked for a large corporation, we never used last names and sometimes some departments used fake first names if it was a safety issue. The collections department used to deal with lots of backlash when they dealt with people who weren't paying their bills.
I don't think she's trying to put you down, I just think that's the way she talks.

I don't think there's anything to interpret other than her style isn't what you are used to.

Next time your boss says, "she is not always at the front but someone else could be sitting there," just pipe in and jokingly say, "That's me :-)" and smile big.

This is not a big deal, and it is not a reflection on you. Just go with it and slip in a little, "Hey, that's me!" every once in awhile. Chances are she'll chuckle.

I don't find it strange at all, if you constantly and consistently interact with the client, the client should know your name, and referring to you by "she" instead of "D." all the time is not a big deal, the client should know who you are. Certainly not something to get upset over. If your boss were saying "someone will help you" referring to you obviously, rather than "she can help you" or "D. can help you" perhaps I might be a little irked, but it's still not a reason to become upset, quit, or complain, unless there is other treatment from her that bothers you and needs to be addressed.

If she says "she is not always at the front but someone else could be sitting there" it might be accurate. I'm sure you step away to use the restroom every now and then, or have a backup person to sit at the front while you use the restroom or go to lunch. Yes, you and your boss are the only ones who handle clients, but if a client calls or shows up and you're at lunch or the bathroom, obviously someone else is handling them during that time, so why would it be inappropriate to say that someone else could be sitting there? Seems logical, and true.

My boss sometimes says "my assistant will send that over to you" versus "N. will send that over to you", and I don't get upset, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have a signature block in my email that informs clients of who I am (though pretty much every client knows me and has interacted with me in the past). If he said "someone will send that over" I might be confused as to who that "someone" is and might make a joke about it, considering I am the only person in the office he works with directly. Sometimes, while on the phone with a client, he says "my assistant just walked into my office" (rather than say "N. just walked into my office") and still, the client says "hey N., long time no speak!" and that's that.

I like Elena B's advice below. You can assert yourself in a professional manner without being confrontational.
As far as her comment re "someone else" at the front desk, perhaps she is just trying to make her business sound bigger than it is.

It's somewhat derogatory - not sure why she would say that. I doubt she means it to be disrespectful, it's kind of very casual (not professional). I like Elena's advice.

I think once you introduce yourself in a professional manner (or just courteously - friendly like) to a few clients, she'll take the hint that you'd like to be acknowledged, or that it's just polite to be introduced by name.

Yes, that seems strange. I would say my name the next time it happens. "My name is D.."

I misunderstood your question. This happens with clients when your boss is with you and them. I agree with Diane B. When appropriate give your name. Otherwise, I'd probably not be concerned. Perhaps I don't understand because I don't know your relationship with your boss. Is she otherwise friendly. Does she use your name when it's just employees?

It seems reasonable that she refers to you as she in the circumstances you describe tho I may not be accurate in the way they happen.

I'm in favor of clearing the air. I would ask my boss how I'm doing. Be open to her answer. It may be easy to continue and say you wonder why she doesn't use your name.

from what you say here, yes, it's somewhere along the line of 'a little odd' to 'downright disrespectful.'

however i don't know if there are mitigating circumstances- perhaps you and the client are already quite familiar with each other, or while the boss is doing this she is smiling and sweeping a hand out to indicate you.

i don't know how to interpret it either because you give very little detail.

but it's reasonably easy to handle, at least assuming there aren't other overt signs of hostility or oneupmanship. when your boss refers to you as 'she' without an introduction to new clients, take a courteous initiative. smile and say 'that would be me! hi, i'm D..' or if there's no opening to speak, just smile and wave.

it could be nothing more than nervousness on your boss's part, and having you step up to support her (rather than looking at it as correcting her rudeness) might actually be a welcome thing.

khairete
S.

When I first read your post, I got the impression your boss may just be trying to make it seem like her very small company is larger than it is. You didn't mention in your post if the client is there in person or on the phone.

Honestly have a conversation with your boss about this. Healthy relationships are all about good and effective communication. You should be able to speak your truth and hear hers and move forward.