Should I Let Him Flush If He Didnt Go Potty?

No, he is manipulating you. Do not allow him to flush unless he actually does something and you need to stand firm on this. Leave his diaper off, if you are able to. If you are a stay at home mom, you should be able to do with no problem. This is how I potty trained all 3 of my children and they were potty trained (totally trained) by 2ys and 2 1/2 yrs. Don't put pants on him or underwear because he will have the tendency to use them instead of the diaper. He needs to feel "free" and it's unlikely he will potty on the floor. IF he does, don't yell but DO enforce that we go potty on the toilet, not on the floor. Watch out for the pee-pee dance and poopy dance...not hard to miss...he will dance and grab either part. It's kind of funny, actually! Be patient but be persistent and don't allow him to manipulate. IF he loves flushing the toilet, good, let that be his reward for actually doing something on the toilet.

I think we beat ourselves up to get our kids potty trained by an age our friends and society thinks is appropriate. We scorn 3 year olds wearing diapers.
When I finally let go and let my kids decide when they were ready, all three of my girls potty trained themselves (basically) and after a couple of weeks they went all night with dry diapers. Bed wetting has not been a problem for us either. My third daughter was 3 1/2 when she potty trained but when she was ready it happened in a couple days time.
He won't go to kindergarten in a diaper :)

Sheri, NOT a weird idea ... in fact BRILLIANT!!
And, the Green Person in me says NO do not flush that potty for no reason!!
But, the mommy says yes, if that is what keeps it fun for him.
Honestly I stopped letting my son do that but we are NO WHERE on the potty training route and he is 4, hang in there your gut or water bill will give you the right answer.

NO flushing unless he has actually done something. This could be his reward, I don't think he is ready yet. If he is sitting there for only 2 seconds, he doesn't want to pee, he just wants the fun of flushing.

I also look at it as a waste of water, nothing to do with your question, but another way of looking at it.

I guess I am in the minority...no potty means no flushing in our house. I let my daughter do it in the beginning and I noticed the same issue, it was like that with my son too. It was becoming a playtime. So in our house the new rule became you only get to flush if you put pee pee or poo poo in the potty. She seems to "get it" now. Flushing is part of the reward for going potty.

My son was harder to potty train that my daughter appears to be. I have heard that several times...boys are harder than girls. I looked it up one time and read on several sites that boys anatomy makes it more difficult to be able to tell their bladder is full. I don't know if it's true, but I guess that could explain it. For our house it seems to be finding their "carrot" or their motivation. We started with stickers for my son. He was excited about the idea of those for a while and quickly got bored. We tried a treasure bin and that was just too much...his little 2 yo head could wrap his brain around the idea of picking ONE toy. It either took forever or ended in tears. Then we went to m&ms...one for pee pee and three for poo poo. He potty trained rather quickly after that. :) My daughter's excitement about stickers was short lived. And she loved m&ms, but again, it was short lived. For her it's been putting pennies in a piggy bank.

You've done it before, so you know. Be consistent. Patient. Use undies and not pull ups (they are just like diapers to kids). And if you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break. With my son I was getting really upset and had to stop potty training for about two weeks. After that period and figuring out that m&ms motivated him, he trained really fast. GL!

i let my daughter at first because sometimes the sound of loud toilets can scare them.....after a while i would only let her if she did go potty as reward, but i didnt' make a huge deal of it.

Let him flush away! It's all part of the learning process. If it's what he looks forward to, then why not? As for no "jackpot" being a concern? Don't sweat it. #2 takes a long time for some kids. He's still figuring out how to "know" when it's time to go. He probably feels it, but just like a plane trying to drop a torpedo on a target, he's still a little off. He will get this if you remain patient and keep things on his terms. If you get them tense and nervous about not producing results, they can get constipated, and then you'll have real problems.

For now, go through the motions. It's a very good sign that he's even heading to the pot within minutes of going in his diaper. It means he's very close to figuring it out. If possible, try to get him to stay on longer. I let my kids read in there. I have a bunch of books nearby...so they stick around a while. Sooner or later, you'll/he'll hit the jackpot and you'll be on your way to diaper free days. :)

I guess I'm with SB. I guess I would try to use the 'joy of flushing' as a reward for going in the pot.

Sounds like he is very interested in the potty, but does not yet have the physical control to make it happen. That'll come next. Won't be long.

I wouldn't even put him on the pot unless he asks.
When he goes for the flusher I would matter-of-factly say, flushing is to make the pee (poop) go down. No pee, no flush. And ignore any insistance on his part.

He WILL be potty trained eventually, I promise. My boys were not consistently trained until they were near their 4th birthday. My daughter took her (cloth) diaper off at 18 months, climbed up on the pot, peed, and that was the end of diapers forever.

They go at their own pace, but it will happen much more peacefully if you just follow his lead, rather than the other way around.

And I wish I'd followed my own advice with my own boys, would've been a LOT less stress for ALL of us!

:)

yeah its hard..... my kids loved stickers . I let them decorate one sticker on the potty if they pee. funny huh. it was a master piece when they were done. Too bad you cant turn the toliet off ......or can you. It won't work unless he has something in it. ha ha ha ha. isn't the volve right there on lower part of the potty ? okay weird idea.

My twins boys, now 4.5 yrs old, loved to flush the toilet. I tried to explain that they didn't have too flush when they didn't go but after a few times trying to explain it, I just let them do it. My boys didn't really start seriously potty training until they were about 3 1/2. I tried everything. M&Ms, stickers, singing songs, reading books, anything to get them to sit longer than 3 seconds. Finally I got a suggestion from a gal from this website. The suggestion was to give them a toy or electronic hand held game that they can only play while sitting on the potty. Now granted, my boys were a bit older, but it worked like a charm. I found a game for $10 at walmart. I could get him to sit on the potty for at least 3 or 4 minutes. Then one day it accidently fell in the bath water that was draining and the game was history, but the sitting on the potty did not. Haven't had any problems with it since. Good Luck!!!!