Should I Hold Her Back in Kinder or Move Her up to First Grade?

I would try to get her in first. If not she will definitely be bored in kindergarten and being bored can lead to discipline problems.

I would ask that she be tested to see if she is capable of doing the first grade work. Talk to someone in the administration office and in a nice way ask them to test her. She will still be with children her own age should they put her in first grade. One day can't make that much difference!! You cer-tainly do not want her to be bored should they put her back in kindergarten. If that should happen, buy some workbooks at a teacher's supply store and keep her interested at home.

I was sooooo surprised to see so many people suggesting keeping her back AND being educators no less.

I am a teacher too. I have taught special education, 2nd grade and 3rd grade. Just to let you know I am not a great big fan of retention unless you have documentation proving a need (grades, maturity or other circumstances); however, there would appear to be NO reason to retain your daughter!

Furthermore, to suggest that kinder and 1st are "fluff" years is AWFUL!!!! They are the basis for the other years. Without a foundation, everything else will fall apart (or never be for that matter). I would like to see 2nd graders perform successfully without having K and 1st!!! So very sad that people still think this!!!

Here is my last suggestion. Go to the Texas Education Agency web page ( http://www.tea.state.tx.us/index2.aspx?id=6148 ) and look at the essential skills for K and 1st. These are the standards that the state has set and that your daughter would be learning (or has learned). Then ask yourself what she knows. If she has mastered the K skills, she should be ready for 1st (especially since she has already completed K). If she has the skills and the maturity, I would hate to destroy her self-esteem! That is something that is hard to get back.

Also, I looked up Texas Education code about age and requirements. If you go http://ritter.tea.state.tx.us/curriculum/early/kfaq.pdf and look at number 14 you will find your answer about her being qualified for 1st. (Which she most definitely is since she already completed K :)

Good luck...and remember you are your daughter's number one advocate!!! Be prepared with the data to prove your point (number and letter identification, writing samples, old report cards, reading level) and you should be fine!!!

I'd prefer to give my child the victory lap in college and not in K. About college....at 17 hopefully your daughter will be more of an adult than child. One year at that ages isn't a big difference...17 to 18....I went to a 4 year college at 17, no problem! What I'm uncomfortable with in today's society of holding kids back...especially boys is Jr High - Middle School ...When your daughter is 11-12 with boys that are 13-14 and in the same grade! I do understand it for some though. Have you actually seen this policy in writing?? Because I have a friend who moved from CA and called the school district and she had her son repeat K because that was what "they do here in TX".....It wasn't a policy but actually a recommendation by the lady she spoke with on the phone. My oldest son has a Summer bday so I went in and spoke to the Principle....And he was more about if he's ready than send him! Gave me a couple of benchmarks to go by and then the decision was mine....I sent my son and he did great. He's one of the youngest ones, but there are other young ones too.... Good Luck!

I taught kinder in the area and have a few thoughts. First, if your kinder teacher is worth her weight in gold, she will take your child where she is and move her forward from there. BUT you don't know that is what will happen. You would need to stay on top of that if your daughter is kept in kinder
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I have known a child who was in the very situation you described. The parents made a deal with the district. They started out with the child in first with the understanding that if she didn't preform up to standard, she would be moved back. The girl ended up being one of the highest level kids in the class.

You can also quote the latest research that shows holding a child back does not benefit them. Other than being one day past the date, what are their reasons that they can show that this would benefit your child? After all as all districts will tell you, it's all about the children. If she were my child, I would insist she be given the opportunity to excel with her intellectual peers, some of which might only be a day older.

If all else fails, you could put her in a private school for one year than move her back to public schools. I don't think you would encounter the same issue going from 1st into 2nd.

You know what is best for your child. If you don't get what you want with your campus principal, move up the ladder to the superintendent. Be an advocate for your daughter. Then after you get her in the right grade, be an involved mom and volunteer for the teacher. It will make a difference.

I am shocked at how many people are insisting that you should hold her back. She is ONE day, ONE day short and has already spent a year in Kindergarten. Do people really think that that one day would have magically made her more emotionally ready? Every child is different and the decision should be made according to that child's needs. I was a former teacher (before a stay-at-home mom) and can tell you that many of my kids could have benefitted from an extra year and many of my kids could have benefitted from being "bumped up" those few days to the next grade. Do you see what I mean... there is no universal "right" answer.

That being said, this is a decision that is best made by those that know her best (you, past teachers, current day care teachers, etc). If you and they feel that she is ready, I would talk to the district about a placement test that would allow her to skip Kindergarten. (This is how it is handled in my TX district.) I would bring letters from her past/current teachers, as well as a "portfolio" of work showing what she did last year (ex. report card, etc). Bring "evidence" because administrators hear about how brilliant kids are all the time so it is helpful to actually see what they can do. I would start with your school's principal that way you have a place to escalate to if need be. (If you start at the top and they say no, there's nowhere left to go.) You also might look on TEA's website and TAGT's website (Texas Association of Gifted & Talented) and see if there is any information there to help you. Also, you might try to contact the school's/district's GT coordinator if the principal says no. They might be friendly to your cause. Best wishes on whatever you decide!

While we held my son back, it was not the same situation. I would definately send her to first grade. I would speak with her principal, get the transcripts from your previous school and even speak to the special education department (they handle talented and gifted programs and academic testing for those programs) to give her a "test" to officially determine her academic standing.
This is just a shame to waste a year and her happiness for one day.From what I have heard it is not a policy that kids go to K (I think I read that on this forum). Rules be darned - get her where she will be the most happy and productive!
You can do it!

She has already completed kindergarten! How insulting to her that she would be expected to stall her learning because of one day and a stupid school policy.

She needs to go into first grade, in my opinion. She finished kinder, and did well in there. If she wasn't able to grasp the concepts of kinder, it would make sense. As it is, just going by the birthday is ridiculous. That was done to me when we moved to Texas from California. I was a kid, and I was a year ahead. They said that they didn't allow grade skipping in the district, so put me back. I was devastated. I had already completed the grade with all A's.

And don't assume that she will be smaller and less mature than her peers if she is able to continue on her educational career at the grade level that she should be in. She will be just fine. Holding a child back with the assumption that they will most certainly lack maturity, height, and social acceleration is unfair and shows a complete lack of confidence in the child. (I'm saying this based on other people's opinions, not what you have personally written about your daughter.)

She *will* get bored of school, and feel let down if she is forced to repeat a grade that she has already passed and done well in. It makes NO sense.

You can discuss this with the principal. If the principal is unwilling to budge, go to the superintendent. If they insist on holding her back, I would go to the school board. The school cannot legally make your child repeat a grade that they have already completed and passed.

editing to add: I was a kid who needed to be constantly engaged and challenged. When I was put back because of my age and Texas didn't allow grade skipping, I became bored in school. From this point on, I became a problem. It only got worse through my school career. Once in the habit of being a pain in the butt, I just stayed that way. Boredom is what started it.

I also made the mistake of not grade skipping my daughter who was very ahead. School was horrible for her and she was very bored. It was torture for her, because she loves learning and wanted SO bad to learn something, but kindergarten was a repeat of things that she already knew. She also had a horrible teacher, though, so this compounded the problem. I ended up pulling her out of kinder and keeping her home. Since I pulled her out, I have home schooled her for the past two years. I never thought I would be "one of those" home schooling moms! As luck would have it, I love it, though. She takes classes at a co-op, and through some home school groups here. In these classes, she is with children of many different ages. I like it so much better this way! She was 6, and in class with 6, 7, and 8 year olds. In Zoo School, she was in class with 5-12 year olds. She has done great, learned quickly how to sit still and pay attention, and is very mature for her age. She has so many friends, and so many activities now that I can't even imagine putting her back in school where she is grouped with only 20 kids every day, and all her age. The way it is now, she is able to work and learn at her own pace. Nobody is holding her back, waiting for others to catch up to her (which is what the school said we needed to do).

Being that she is my second (my first is 17 now), I see a huge difference. When one lets go of these ideas that all friends need to drive at the same time, and be the same age - doing everything at the same time, one sees just how a person can blossom socially.

OH, and for physical education, we have her in martial arts. She was invited into the "Leadership" class by her instructor. So, now she is also taking a class that teaches life skills and how to be a good leader.

I would absolutely fight the policy and get her into 1st grade! But, start NOW.

Also, in regards to testing, I am not sure what your district does, but my district has testing in August for the gifted and talented kids (for placement). Find out if your district does any kind of testing in August and get your daughter to be a part of it.

Good luck!
L.

When my parents moved my sister and me to Dallas in the late 70s, my sister had already completed kindergarten in Colorado. But because of Texas cut-off dates, she was told she'd have to repeat. My parents fought it and she went to 1st. She did fine - no issues whatsoever... in fact she went to a very prestigious college and had no issues with socializing throughout school.

If you think your daughter is ready, then demand that they make an exception and get documentation from the previous school stating that your daughter successfully completed kindergarten.

My daughter attends a private school where the kids are a full year apart in age (some are even 14 months' apart in age) and while I see some maturity issues with the really young children, there are maturity issues with the ones who will soon turn seven too. So I think you should go with your gut instinct.

Good luck!

She sounds like she needs to be in first grade.. Go to the Principal first, if you are not happy with the answer THEN go to the area Superintendent..

Our daughter was always one of the youngest (as was I).. It had no affect on College..

Do what is best for your child..

Updated

She sounds like she needs to be in first grade.. Go to the Principal first, if you are not happy with the answer THEN go to the area Superintendent..

Our daughter was always one of the youngest (as was I).. It had no affect on College..

Do what is best for your child..

I am a third grade teacher. I would highly recommend that you keep her in kindergarten. So many parents think that just because their child is academically "ready" to move on they should move them up to the next grade level. The thing is, academics are only PART of the education of your child. I found that two years ago, when half of my class had summer birthdays or fall birthdays, I had a really hard time with classroom management. And when I stopped to think about it, almost all of the kids who were having trouble listening, staying in their seats, turning in homework, demonstrating organizational skills, handling challenges, and using time effectively in class (to complete work) were the kids who were younger. It blew my mind. I had one kid who skipped kindergarten and one kid who had a late November birthday but whose parents did not send her to kindergarten as a 4 year old. So there was a 1.5 year age span in my class. The difference between those two children was astonishing. The younger child was academically bright, but again, that is only part of the picture. He had made it through first and second grades without any problem, but in third grade, things started falling apart--focus, attention, organization, work completion, etc. were challenging for him. The older child was totally together, a leader, and just knew how to be a student and was so responsible and mature.

My two daughters are December and November birthdays. I always thought it was like a curse to be born in these months because my December daughter misses the cutoff by 8 days and my November daughter is late November so was kind of on the cusp. I hated that my older daughter couldn't get into the next year's preschool class so she was always one of the older ones in the class (my question was, where are their role models if they are the older ones? why do they have to be in the class with the babies or the kids who weren't yet talking, etc.) and now I have come to see, like so many people told me when I was exploring preschools, it is a gift to be born in these months. IT is a gift to have the extra time. It was hard for me to understand for a long time, but I think I finally get it. You don't really want your child to always be the youngest, the smallest, possibly the least mature. What is the rush?

In terms of "boredom", you should definitely meet with the teacher in the fall and express your concerns from the beginning...and ask what you can do at home to supplement, complement, etc. the program at school. Kindergarten is about letters and introductory mathematics and learning about so much that goes on in the world, but it is also about social skills and learning to be part of the group, etc. I think she will enjoy kindergarten in the new environment. You can do other things to expose her to new ideas and activities at home, and the school may have opportunities for extra classes, enrichment as well.

I am sure that the teachers will be happy to listen to your worries and concerns and will have some suggestions for how to make your child's year a successful one.

Good luck!

Request a meeting with your new school principal. Tell her/him everything you posted about your daughter. Stress you prefer she enter at 1st grade, you do have good reasons. Just as important, is to make sure your daughter gets a good teacher match for her, someone that can keep her challenged and engaged in learning. Not just a teacher that expects parents to handle anything above "grade level" work at home. Does her school have a gifted program? I'd check in to that too.

I don't think one year is going to bore her for the rest of her school life. However, from everything you've said, I think you SHOULD fight to get her into the first grade. I understand why they have the deadlines...there has to be some cut-off, but it doesn't mean you can't fight for an exception.

Call the adminstrator and ask for a meeting. Be prepared to show some evidence of your daughters ability to keep up. It is crazy for her to repeat kindergarten without reason.

I would push for the first grade thing. And if they do not allow that then ask what accomadations they will be providing for her since she has already had kindergarten and has already mastered all of the curriculum for that grade. If you let them know from the start that you are aware of the schools responsibility to educate your child and that she is already been thru kindergarten etc they may go along with the first grade thing. but you need to be very sure that she is ready for it. it sounds like she is. but if not and you push it only to have her get behind it won't be good for anyone.

It does sound like she is ready to go to first grade.

I saw hit with this issue at both sides. I started school at 4, in England, and moved here when I was 6. I had a Sept. birthday was put up a year and was a year ahead of these kids academically. I spent the first 3 years board and the others kids caught up. It didn't take me long to over take them once my parent figured out what had happened. You can fix this, give her home work, work with her teachers.

Socially it wasn't a big deal until junior high, I was the little girl, high school the last the drive, and college left out couldn't get into the bars with my 21 year old friends. It wasn't immaturity, just felt last and left out. Once you have put her ahead, there will be nothing you can do if she isn't mature. She may or may not.

If you are stuck with their policy, Kids grow up too fast anyway. It's not the worst thing to have her repeat.

lots of luck

I don't buy into the maturity thing down the line for college. I was 17 when I went to college, turned 18 after getting there a week. I loved it. I felt like I got to start my life a year earlier. Instead of finishing school at 22, I finished at 21. I say push for it. I don't know where you would go to ask for an exception, except having a meeting with the principal. If you get nowhere there, you could go to the admin building.
I personally know a friend that home-schools her kids, simply because of the cut-off dates. She said that once they are a little older, they can test into the older grades, but, they cannot in K or 1. She ended up loving the home-schooling thing so much though, that she is still doing it years later.
Most of the teachers I know, do not recommend repeating Kindergarten; and I know A LOT of teachers. They say that it is better to move on past the introduction grade, especially if they have mastered it. All of them say that 1st grade is a better "repeat" year if they find they are not "mature" or "ready" to move on past there. They say that they see good kids turn bad sometimes just from being bored. They mainly say that they need to challenge if they are ready, and, why would you put their life on hold basically for a year if you don't have to?
To me, as someone who was young, I was always a leader, and, still am a leader. Age has nothing to do with "leadership qualities" if they have them built into them. Some people are natural leaders, some are natural followers. I owned my own business, and, due to circumstance (illness) had to close it. But, now I help my husband run two businesses. See, still a leader, and, I was a "young one"!

Listen to all the advice, especially that of teachers and moms who have experienced this situation. Then weigh the information and make the best decision for your child. It sounds like you had your mind made up until someone said something differently. What exactly made you question your decision? I, too have child with a birthday close to the cutoff and I'm not sure what I'll do when the time comes. I guess I'll look at his maturity, social skills, academic readiness, ability to listen and follow directions, etc. Good luck with your decision!

H., my daughter missed the cut-off by 1 day as well. She went to private Pre-K. I went to the school to talk to them about her birthday, etc. and they said no. This is what I did. I sent her to private school for Kindergarten. When enrollment time came around for 1st grade, I took all the paperwork and just enrolled her. No one ever said anything. I don't know if they didn't pay attention or they let it slide or what. But it was the best thing for our daughter. She would have been bored. She was bored in Kinder. She's way ahead of the game. We raise our children the way the Bible says so we have no worries about what the future holds.

Do what you feel is right for you and your child.

As a kinder teacher I say to hold off. Mostly because of her maturity down the line entering college rather than for grade school. You always want her to be the leader and not follower. My daughter misses the cut off by 16 days and is already a great reader. I only say this to comfort you that kids will be reading in kinder. I usually have a big handful of kinder kids who come in as readers. Any good teacher will teach her on developmental level as needed. I guess I feel like we push kids to grow up so fast in Texas. The TAKS test is just around the corner in 3rd. Let her enjoy learning through developmental centers for the final time before her school career will change forever.

Hey H.: I am a Texas Elementary teacher, and our district has primary enrichment programs for children that are advanced in their grade. This gives them the best of both worlds. Time with their same age peers (which gives them time to mature emotionally) and get the academics that will fulfill their need to learn in depth. When your child begins school, ask the administrator in your building to see if they have such a program. Usually the gifted and talented teacher visits the lower grades once a week, and will give activities to the homeroom teacher to use.

Do you want your daughter thrown into "college" scenarios at 17? Do you want her leaving the house at 17? My daughter is 17 now, and I say NO!
What good comes from a 17 year old being exposed to 21 year old boys? College boys at that? There is sooooo much she can experience right now at her age other than school to maintain her interests. Boredom is a non issue. The social aspects with girls will overwhelm her in the teenage years. My advice is to hold her back and start piano, soccer, gymnastics, library programs, nature programs, etc... There is so much more to forming a person than academia. She has the rest of her life for that and you only have your daughter under your wing for such a short time. Why rush it?

I am a teacher and I say hold her back.....it can only help her as she goes through school.

Based on my experience with my two children, I say hold back and supplement her education. Kindergarten and 1st grade can be 'fluff' years, especially for those who have been to strong pre-K programs. Kids who have mastered the concepts taught in Kinder and 1st grade sometimes have disciplinary problems and or maybe bored. That is where a good teacher comes in that understands what is happening with young kids these days. Kids are no longer entering kindergarten not know their ABCs, in fact many are reading at 2nd grade level and have mastered several math concepts.

The reason why I say HOLD BACK is because of what happens in a couple of years. If your child is shy, small or cannot command respect, she may have difficulties when the kids get meaner in 3rd and 4th grade. It is not like when we were kids and the social pressures are more complex.

You may be very disappointed as to what she is learning in kinder and 1st, so that is why you may want to look at an after school academic program that will continue to challenge her. Some teachers get it and find ways to keep those that have mastered concepts challenged.

I did not hold back my youngest child who was born on May 30th for one reason, her height. She is already taller than all the girls and most of the boys. She has a VERY strong personality and can hold her own with other girls. She is and will always be an average student so I did not see it would help her academically to hold her back. If she were a smaller girl, I would have held her back, no questions asked.

I hope this helps...good luck in your decision.

Think about the next 12 years and whether she will be happier being one of the oldest in her class or one of the youngest, this will apply to college also. Taking into consideration maturity levels also helped us make our decision; we decided to let her be one of the oldest.

I'm not 100% positive, but I believe that Texas State Law says that, "a child MUST be six (6) on or before September 1st of the year that they start first grade."

If I'm correct, then the public schools can not put a child who is 5-years old in a first grade class.

However, the law says nothing about what age a child has to be to enter second grade.

With that in mind, I have two comments/suggestions:

As a former teacher and as the mother of two daughters with September/October birthdays (who were both the "oldest" in their grades), I am a BIG believer in letting your daughter be the oldest in her class - rather than the youngest. When she is 5 or 6, it may not seem to matter, but when she's 13, 14, 15, or 16 -- it could be whole different story. The youngest in the class will always want to "keep up" with her older classmates, meaning that the'll want to wear makeup earlier, hang out at the mall earlier, start dating earlier, etc., etc., etc., when her body and her decision-making abilities are still younger - and not really mature enough for those situations. Other risks of being the youngest are that these "young" kids may struggle because they are smaller, go through puberty later, etc. There are so many societal influences that try to make our daughters grow up sooner than they need to, and being a year older is often an advantage. It is true, however, that many "young" kids do great. Unfortunately, there is no way to determine that when the child is five.

If, however, you are convinced that she needs to be in first grade, then I would put her in a private school for first grade. Once she's completed first grade, then she can move in to second grade in public school, regardless of her age.

If you decide to do this, and depending on where you live, I would recommend Messiah Classical Academy in Keller. Natlie Anderson is the Principal, and it is a very solid, Christian school. She would be able to evaulate her daughter and tell you what grade would be best for her -- both academically and socially - and your daughter would get the academic challenges she needs in a supportive, nurturing environment.

If you have more questions, you can e-mail me at ____@____.com Luck!

First I want to say, relax. Your decision will not lock her into a placement for the rest of her life.

With your support, your child will be successful wherever she is. Understandably, schools want to take some time before they advance a student. It is more difficult to place them back a grade after that and it can be psychologically damaging. It is hard to tell in very young students if they are successful simply because of family support and risk falling behind later or if they are really ready for advance curriculum.

read a really interesting study in Freakonomics. They studied school children from Chicago because they used a lottery system to determine which high achieving children had the opportunity to attend high quality magnet-type schools. This allowed them to compare students with similar test scores from the same neighborhood and economic background who attended different schools. The students who won the lottery attended highest ranked schools in Chicago while the others were left in poor, run-down, low performing schools. Guess what? These students did equally well on achievement tests. In this study the motivated, exceptional student was more important than the school environment from which he or she came.

My Experience: I knew that my eldest son was advanced in every way, so I talked to his preschool director for hours trying to convince her to put him with older students. She was very against it and held her own son back. She had never promoted a boy and talked me into putting him in the age appropriate class. A couple of days later, she approached me and said that he did need to be the older children.

When we enrolled him in Kindergarten he was already reading at the 4th grade level. They let him go to 1st grade for Reading and Math. After 2 weeks, they said that we could promote him, but we didn't because my husband was against it. At the end of Kindergarten, we were given the option of placing him in first or second grade. He did become the "class tutor" which frustrated him a bit. On the other hand, if you really want to know a subject, just try teaching it to some-one else. It has been proven to enrich understanding.

Staying in his "proper" grade level allowed him to be a leader (although I think he would have been one regardless.) He always excelled in school, participated in student council and athletics. He was able to letter 5 times in High School and is now part of a Big 12 athletic team. He was also able to get 42 hours of dual credits during high school - almost a year and a half of college.

We planned on holding our youngest back because he was so young and immature, but the school intervened there too. We enrolled him because the school had a kindergarten 1 and 2. Students who were not ready for 1sdt grade were placed in k2. AT the end of k1, we were told that he needed to go to 1st grade. This year, a couple of days after his 15th birthday, UNT sent us an application. The state of Texas has a free high school program where students can stay on campus while earning credit for the last two years of high school and the first two years of college at the same time, so even without skipping a grade, he has the opportunity to begin college at 16 if we feel that he is ready to do so.

In short, you have plenty of time to make your decisions.

So in the end, would have moving up a grade made all that big of a difference? If she doesn't have a lot of friends in class, she can have friends that challenge her outside of class while she provides a leader's example. It is likely that her needs will be recognized and accommodated in school.

My daughter started Kindergarten when she was 4 because her birthday fell 2 days before the cut off. She was and still is advanced for her age as far as academics go. Now that she is going into 8th grade, I look back and wish I had held her back one year because of her maturity level. She's just not ready socially to be on her last year of middle school. She will be 12 when she starts 8th grade...I say hold your child back if you can. It will probably be better for you both in the long run!

If it was me and I am going by how advanced you say she is then I would push to get her into firt grade. My youngest missed the deadline by 2 weeks last year. So we are entering Kinder and then she will turn 6.

The advantage to being one of the older kids is she probably wont have trouble in school.

You have to go with your gut and you think she need to be in first grade then I would get her into first grade.

I taught kindergarten for 11 years and our feeling was you are Never sorry if you wait another year, but if you don't you will probably regret it in time. Now is the time to let her mature more and remember in the teenage years, she will need that maturity for driving, dating, etc.