My boyfriend is the same age as me 30, (I adopted my daughter) and he has been all if a sudden canceling every date night and I am getting tired of it. But he is sweet, and nice but he also makes me feel like he hates me. What should I do!? I need advice quickly and good answers and if I do how do I break up with him being nice? Not like I hate you. But please please please help me! Btw my kids kind of like him they don't sometimes because he takes away "mommy time" help!!
I am 30. My kids are 15 (she was adopted) 9, and 5 Shut your mouths I would never say that to my kids and yes my daughter knows she was adopted I got her a year ago and I'm not a troll I would never be mean to them my daughter thinks I baby her too much got to admit I do baby all of them and I say my daughter is my own child I feel like I have had her forever
If he is cancelling and acts like he doesn't like you, he has already broken up with you, you just didn't get the memo.
Move on.
Mom's I see no reason to assume this is a troll. She may be. Her sentence structure is poor, and she writes like she talks, and appears naive, yes, but not all mom's finish high school or learn how to write. As for the "shut your mouth" I have heard it frequently usually in jest. I've said it myself. And I have met many similar moms.
She said she adopted her daughter because if she didn't we'd think she was 15 when she started her family.
I'd like us to go back to that old adage, if you can't be nice say nothing at all. I suggest if we didn't respond to troll they will get bored and leave.
As to your questions. I would not stay with a man if I feel like he hates me. I would try to work it out with him first. Counseling can help. If he won't go you go and learn why you pick the men you do.
Most breakups are not done nicely. I suggest you ask the counselor these questions. He/ she will help you make decisions. He/she will not make them for you.
I suggest that you may be able to get help at a women's shelter.
I'm glad you want to keep the children out of it. That's very important.
Wow what an attitude " shut your mouths"
Does your daughter know that you refer to Her as your "adopted" child? God I hope not.
Your children should be your priority, not a boyfriend.
You sound like a teenager yourself. I really feel for your children that you prefer a piece of a$$ instead of being a good stable mom.
Please God, I hope this is a troll on the site. No innocent child shoukd be subjected to this behavior by a parent. Geesh..
Btw, I do not open it respond to hate mail so don't bother. Read your elementary style question again if you are for real and go get counseling.
If you're a 30 year old "mother of 3"? I'll be amazed.
School tomorrow? Let's hope.
I'm so glad you'll be back at school tomorrow, go take a nap or ride your bike, or maybe, do your homework, so when you ARE 30, you won't write like you're 5!
If you feel like he hates you why are you worried about breaking up with him?
Everyone who has read both of your questions knows this isn't real.
You say the 15 year old is the kids' cousin first, and then you say it's your daughter. Other people have remarked about that in your earlier question too.
I have two kids and I would never refer to one being "adopted" even though one is.
Shut our mouths? My mouth isn't actually open. Just fyi.
Added: Since you keep changing your "so what happened"...... my daughter knows she was adopted too, but I still would never refer to her as my adopted daughter. You need to stop that. It's just wrong. She's your daughter.
what does adopting your daughter have to do with your boyfriend's age?
do you think it's just hunky dory for your kids to experience 'nice and sweet but makes me feel hated' as a great model for how relationships should be?
i know you're not a troll. i wish you were. i'm sad that 3 children are being subjected to this degree of teenage-level relationship drama.
how about you cut loose your bad boyfriends and spend a little time focused on your kids instead? maybe in another 10 or 20 years you'll have grown up enough yourself to try romance again.
khairete
S.
Yes, you should break up with this man. It doesn't sound like he's terribly interested in you anymore. Furthermore, you said sometimes you feel like he hates you. That can't be a healthy relationship for you at all.
I know breaking up is never easy, but it doesn't sound like there is much benefit to staying in this. I think you and your kids will be happier if you move on.
If you don't live together and he's canceling dates then why aren't you broken up? Is he thinking it's over? Does he think canceling out is breaking up?
Or if you live together maybe he doesn't understand how important it is for the two of you to spend time together as a couple.
I'd sit down and talk to him about it.
Updated
If you don't live together and he's canceling dates then why aren't you broken up? Is he thinking it's over? Does he think canceling out is breaking up?
Or if you live together maybe he doesn't understand how important it is for the two of you to spend time together as a couple.
I'd sit down and talk to him about it.
You should be able to talk to him. You should be able to say what you want and what you need from a relationship. I have learned that actions speak louder than words. If he isn't treating you the way you want to be treated don't be afraid to move on. Don't be hesitant to let him know.
A sweet guy will show up with candy or flowers and an apology for cancelling. A nice guy will set a makeup date he will keep it.
Give him a chance to right a perceived wrong before kicking him to the curb. Let his actions speak for themselves.
He may just not be that into you. Tell him that you known this, are ok with it, and move on. i wouldn't waste my time with someone like this, and neither should your kids.
If he's canceling every date, he's moving on already. Or he's put you very low on his priority list, which is the same thing. I don't understand how is is "sweet" and "nice" if he acts like this - he's not considerate and he's not that interested in you. He makes you feel like he hate you - but you still defend him?
He just isn't willing to break up with you - maybe he thinks you'll just be waiting for him if whatever else he's doing doesn't pan out? Is it possible he is dating someone else? Then you should not be sitting around waiting and you should definitely not be sleeping with him. Maybe, at 30, he's not ready for 3 kids.
You have 3 kids, and you are teaching them that it's okay to ignore people's feelings if you encourage this boyfriend. You will raise 3 kids with no backbone. And if you have an adopted 15 year old daughter who's already had a rough start to her life, and she is pretty much at the dating age, you are teaching her that women should tolerate being mistreated and discarded by men. What she needs is a role model with a backbone.
You can't always be nice when you break up. You have to say you won't put up with being dismissed by a man. You don't tell him you hate him. You tell him you cannot stand what he DOES and how he acts toward you. Since you're not his priority, you think you should move on and look for someone more interested in you and willing to take on 3 kids, and you think he should move on to dating the kinds of women who like all the activities he's doing instead of dating you.
Whether the kids like a man who takes away "mommy time" is not the point. Whether he's an admirable person (not just sorta sweet when he happens to come around) is what matters. And that means someone who is consistent. This guy is not consistent or reliable. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy you should date at 16, let alone at 30 when you have 3 kids to include in the equation.
