OK here is my dilema.... My daughters go to daycare.. there is a teacher in the baby class (12 months to 2yr olds)... I noticed on Monday that she had colored the bottom half of her hair green (assuming for St. Patricks Day stuff over the weekend) but what got me was she had 4 HICKIES on her.... one HUGE one about 2 inches long on one side and 3 quarter size on the other side of her neck.... At first I noticed it and then just thought how gross and innappropriate.... My oldest daughter is the one who asked me why she had those on her kneck?? I just told her I did not know what it was and left it alone... neither of my girls are in her direct class but I am sure they see her through out the day.... this bothers me that she would come to work looking so trashy (no offense)... but she is working with kids and should not be looking like that.... bad example to kids... should I say something to the owner? Or let it go? It is really eating at me though...
Thank you all for your responses.... I called the owner about an hour ago and informed him.. he said it was brought to his attention on Monday and that he spoke with her that evening after he found out.. He specifically told her to wear a scarf or turtle neck yesterday to work. Apparently she did all day until he left. We I arrived yesterday evening to pick up my daughters she had nothing covering it. So she obviously played the game and took it off when the owner went home. I did inform him of that.. he said as soon as we hung up he was calling... Thanks again for your advice.
C.,
Personally, if it is bothering you this much, then yes. I wouild address it with the director. As you already stated, she is working with children and that is NOT appropriate in the least. She could at least make an effort to cover the hickies up with make up or where high collared shirts.
M.
I would mention it to whoever is in charge...just say something like
"Mary asked me about the "boo-boos" on Miss Smiths neck and I find it inappropriate for a child care worker."
Don't worry about the hair color. It's not a reflection of anything other than creativity in my opinion. I was invited to a ladies church group the day after Halloween one year and still had remnants of green glitter hair spray in my hair. They basically accused me of being a satan worshipper so I never went back.
The hickey thing is different.
How old is this teacher? She may not understand how bad the hickies look. I see young girls running around with hickies all the time and it makes me so sad.
I'm not defending her, but my daughter had a boyfriend who was very insecure and when she got a good job, he deliberately left a huge hickey on her neck a week into it, in FRONT of other people. Sex had nothing to do with it. It's like he was marking his territory. He thought it was funny. He was abusive and wanted to leave his "mark" on her. The first time was the last time because the wimp was afraid to mess with me and he's long gone.
That said, you definitely should mention that the hickies bother you. You don't have to come out and say they look trashy and it makes her look like a slut. It's pretty much a given. BUT, she might not be a slut and she shouldn't be judged...she needs to be mature enough to not get hickies. And if her boyfriend/husband isn't mature enough, that's her own personal business, but coming to work like that and dealing with children makes it everyone else's business. And, with hickies, there is only one conclusion people come to and we all know what that is.
If she values herself and her job, hopefully she will put an end to it. Not just cover it up.
Hello!!
I so know what you are going through.
I don't care about the hair - that's fine - it's all in good fun! I've know child care providers that die their hair red for Valentine's Day and Christmas....that's NOT the issue. This issue is her hickies.
That is NOT professional and it shows her morals as well. She will HAVE to lie to the kids who ask her about the bruises on her neck. That, in my opinion, is NOT acceptable.
The girl also needs to know that hickeys are bad - she's breaking the blood vessels and capalaries in her neck - VERY dangerous. But really - right now, beside the point - the day care should have sent her home and made her put on a turtle neck or makeup. If she chooses risky behavior outside of the day care - fine - but she doesn't bring it to the center. PERIOD.
.
To me it doesn't matter where a person works they should never have hickies anywhere they can be seen in.
I would definitely say something, especially since your daughter noticed & asked about it. I'm sure she's not the only kid to ask their parents about it! That is very unprofessional!
Hair is one thing its not a huge deal. She could be a college student who colored it for St. Pattys day. What gets me is the hickies! You are working with kids you don't so that. If your spouse, partner, whatever leaves one make sure it covered so people can't see it. I would bring it up. This is a place of buisness not her bedroom! ------Ash
Absolutely say something. I agree a hickey is tacky and gross regardless of where you work...but TOTALLY inapporpriate for someone working with children.
It seems like the girl needs to be fired for not complying with rules. However, before you are too quick to judge all hickeys on the neck I would like to let you know that cheerleaders get what we call shoe hickeys on their necks. It's from standing on each other's shoulders, the sole of the shoe can cause what looks like real hickeys on the neck. I've been judged for having them (a long long time ago of course) because they look real! People see cheerleader with hickeys on the neck and immediately assume the worst!
This doesn't sound like that's the case, but I just wanted to point out that they do exists and it's something to think about before you judge someone to quickly.
I would let the dyed hair go. I would discreetly inquire to her or the director about the hickies. No, it does not look good, but maybe she was forced or soemthing. Just becasue she has them doesn't mean it was her fault. I hate hickies and a boyfriend gave me one one time. I didn't ask him to. I did not want him to. And I was very upset afterwards.
Good luck
I am a teacher and yes you should say something to the owner. You are to be professional as a teacher whether it be preschool, elementary, middle, or high school. This would not be acceptable at my school and this girl would potentially get fired for it whether you said something or not. Parents are the voice. If you don't complain nothing gets changed. I'm sure you won't be the only parent complaining either.
Oh and even our students are not allowed to color their hair in a distracting color. It is in the student handbook.
I would mention it and suggest to them that they should have the irresponsible employee wear a turtle neck if she cannot be a better example. And that you don't care for your children to see that trash. There is nothing with saying so. The rest of us choose to be responsible- and so should that person.
I completely agree with Shane B.
I would also let the hair pass, it is a personal decision, and can be fun. The hickies are trashy, no need to appologize. This is a professional business. I would speak to the owner, everyone knows kids are curious. Not appropriate.
Wow. I would most definitely have to address the issue with the owner/director. That is incredibly unprofessional. I have two kiddos and have been in the daycare world a long time. I know these girls don't make an incredible salary or anything BUT they are in a very important role with these children. With this girl being in a class of 12mth - 2yr olds, there's no doubt in my mind that those little ones are going up to her and asking her why her hair is green and what's wrong with your neck! I surely hope she is at least not telling them the truth. And you are right about all the other children seeing her during the day b/c they cover lunch breaks, etc. It just makes their facility look questionable when they employ those people and don't require them to abide by certain standards. She shouldn't be allowed to come to work with green hair and she should be required to cover her neck when it's in that "condition". Even though your girls aren't in her class, you have every right as a concerned parent to discuss it with the owner/director. I'm sure you won't be the only one! Good luck!
I would absolutely say something, that is wildly inappropriate. And the fact that your daughter noticed too... I would be mad as hell. It shouldn't be on you to have to explain that to her... she never should have had to see something like that to begin with. I would see if any other parents noticed (I'm sure they did)... and have them say something too. Employees should be disciplined enough to know that hickies in the workplace are NOT okay. Not to mention, what kind of person walks around like that anyway? That would make me take a second look at who's watching our children. Let us know how it goes :)
What if the person with the hickie is the daycare owner? I just recenty came across this at my son's daycare and it's been bothering me. She's in her 40's and takes care of a range of children (my son is the youngest at 10mos) up to 14 years....??
I worked in daycare/preschool for years, and the owner of the daycare I worked at would have said something to her and with parents complaining it would back her up. So I would go to the owner, it just looks trashy to have hickies all over your neck. I would not want my kid in that class. Daycares these days do not have alot of choices in their picks of teachers, it is usually young girls that don't care about their job, it is just a paycheck. So she probably won't get fired but at least maybe she will think again about coming to work like that! As far as the hair, that really doesn't bother me. Some people just use that to express themselves, I have never personally colored my hair but to each their own in that department. But no hickies, it is gross! By the way my son is 2 and he comes up and ask me about every spot on my body so these kids notice! You do not want them to think that is normal!
i would not complain about the hair color. honestly who the heck cares about that. it will either A)wash out or B) fade. if some one tried to tell me i am sorry you can't color you hair i would be highly mad!!!!! i have worked with the public since i was 12 baby sitting the restraunts then gas stations and grocery stores and NEVER had some one say you can't color your hair. and yes it was not a natural color i did, pinks and blues and white, orange,neon colors. what i would be concerned with is the hickies. i hate them i have never liked them, i have never had them. i just really dislike them. they make people look like trash and in my opinion it is just NASTY AND WHORISH?sp. if you are going to have them and other people can see them. COVER them up. i would talk to the owner or who ever is in charge and let them know you are uncomfortable with the hickies at least. but as far as the hair goes let it go. do you complain to the manager when you see some one with tattoos and you don't like them?
S. mom of 2 boys ages 5yrs and 22 months
