Should 2 1/2 Year Old Be Able to Put His Own Shoes On?

She is just saying to start concentrating on this skill.. It is a good one for him to start practicing.. No hidden agenda...

He should be able to, but I agree that it has to be the right kind of shoe.... not necessarily crocs. Tennis style shoes with velcro straps are usually fine, because they can loosen the straps wide enough to get their foot in rather than having to just pull them on.

There is a range of this skill though... I have a little girl in my daycare who was putting on her own shoes and socks before age 2, and I've had other kids who can't (or won't) do it at 3. This largely depends on the personality of the child and whether the parents encourage skills or do things for the child. The fact that he wants to do it himself, would prompt me to want to get shoes that he can put on and take off himself.

The teachers probably know that this is a skill he is able to do, and they have lots of other kids to support and don't have time to put everyone's shoes on for them.

In response to your SWH, it's hard to say if her making your son put away his toys was "too strict". It's important to follow through on what you ask kids to do particularly when you have many kids in care. There may be more to it than what you saw when you came in and a good reason that she was pushing your son to put away the toys. I think if you have concerns about he teaching and discipline style you should have a talk with the teacher. Sometimes the parenting style and the caregiving/teaching style do not match and it's better to find a new environment. Sometimes we can learn a lot by having open communication and asking why things are done a certain way. As a provider I try to be really aware of the snapshot that parents see when they walk into my home and I'm working with kids. Sometimes I do need to give a full picture of what happened and why things were handled in a certain way, but not all teachers remember that. They get used to doing things how they do them, not realizing that a new parents might raise eyebrows at certain practices.

I would not push it. Developmentally speaking when he's ready he's ready. If he can't do it now, wait a couple of months and try again. At his age his muscles and coordination are still developing and if you keep "practicing" putting his shoes on before he's physically capable you will most likely end up frustrating him and make him not want to try. Instead, focus on providing him with fun toys that help build these muscles - like play dough, stringing beads, large legos, etc. Then every couple of months try again and you'll see when he's ready and then you'll both do a cheer and congratulate him on being a big boy. :) If his teacher is persistent in wanting him to do it himself either talk to her and tell her that you have tried at home but he's just not there developmentally and you'd prefer not to push him or simply buy him a type of shoes that he can put on. Depending on his fine motor skills, crocs may be your only answer, but hopefully you can find something with a bit more support he can still manage. I do find it sad that you may have to cater to the school just because they won't acknowledge the normal development of small children and don't want to be bothered with helping those who still need help with certain skills. :( I mean no offense, but it's their job. If they were in a room with one year olds they would still be putting on all the shoes. Just because they are two now and some can do it doesn't mean they should be pushing to get them all to do it - especially if they aren't ready.

ETA- After reading your what happened, I just wanted to say that this teacher does sound a bit strict and unbending when it comes to little ones. You'd probably be best to dress him in crocs if you can't find another shoe he can get on easily until he's developmentally ready to do it himself. No matter what anyone tells you, it is NOT just a matter of practice. It's like some babies are ready to walk at 11 months and some at 13 months or 14 months. Practicing over and over with your 11 month old will not make them ready any sooner. He'll get it when he gets it, but to make his school life easier, you may want to go with the crocs or some other type of easy slip on. Or consider switching schools perhaps........ (I would not want my child in this teacher's class, from your description.)

Yes, you should buy him shoes he can put on himself. It will help his self confidence. It doesn't need to be Crocs. Try runners with velcro closures. Take him shoe shopping with you and try shoes until he can put a pair on himself.

According to developmental charts this is a skill most kids start accomplishing around their third birthday. Certainly, parents can compensate and only buy very simple shoes that they can put on by themselves at 2 years old. I personally find this rather silly but I don't mind helping my little ones until they are ready for the next step and I'm not one to push development in kids for my own convenience (or a teacher's in this case). I say let them be little and develop as they are meant to and celebrate with them when they do reach new milestones. In the meantime, enjoy helping him as needed and showing him by example that it's good to help others. (Of course we homeschool, so my kids are afforded this freedom.) Being in preschool, though, the teacher wants him to put his own shoes on so she doesn't have to. So it might be best so that she's not showing frustration towards him, if you can afford a new pair of shoes, to take him to the shoe store and figure out which ones he can put on by himself. Then he can wear these to preschool and when he's home with you he can wear whatever he wants or whatever you want him to.

I also wanted to add that I'm an early childhood specialist and when I was working, I personally saw a wide range on when this skill is accomplished, but it certainly shouldn't be expected until the age of three and even then they may not be ready. Right around the third birthday is the average - meaning some do it sooner and some later. Sadly I have been in a couple of preschools where little ones were scolded for not putting their own shoes on because the teacher felt they should be able to. One place I worked at during college, I remember even had the child (just turned 3) sit in the doorway until he could put his own shoes on while everyone else were outside playing. He never did get them on. ;(

My daughter could put on any type of shoe or sock by 2. My son turns three next week and is just now putting on clothes. Socks? No way. Shoes? Yes and no. Most shoes he needs help with.

If they should be able to do this at that age, then my son was slow :) but hey... no worries, every kid is different... what's the big deal.. a preschool ought to know better than anyone that kids all learn differently when it comes to mechanical things such as putting on shoes and even tying them..
for my son, until about the age of 6, he wore sneakers with velcro straps.. at the time, there were many cute ones from which to choose..

crocs.. I am not so sure they truly have enough support for a foot (whether adult or child) I would go with a sneaker.. they even have cute light up ones, you could make putting on his shoes a game.... if he sees the light go on, that might spark his interest.. so to speak

good luck to you and your little one

Like any other skill, there is a range of normal. For some kids it might be at this age, for others it will be a little later. But they TYPE of shoe will affect how early they are able to learn this skill. You said yourself that even YOU have to work at it a little to get his shoes on him because of the type of shoe.
No, you don't have to go buy him crocs or any other shoe that is easier for him to manipulate (and for you, too). But, if you did, it might help him master this skill (with that particular pair of shoes) a little sooner.
It is up to you whether or not to do this. No right or wrong answer here.

If he is frustrated by the process right now, maybe an easier shoe would help him feel some success with it in the meantime. If he doesn't care, then I am not sure I would worry about it.
You might even consider having more than one pair of shoes... ones for at home, and ones for at school. Using easier ones for school... Can you imagine having to put on shoes for multiple 2 1/2 year olds before playground time and at pick up time, every day? Yikes.

It depends on the kid. My son could not put his shoes on at that age. My daughter could. Your preschool teacher is right though - this is a great age to start working on this. There are MANY kinds of toddler shoes that are easy to take on and off...maybe get a couple pairs (not just crocs) of new shoes. My daughter just turned 3 and has boots and crocs and 2 pairs of tennis shoes that are very easy to slip on and off...the tennies have velcro and are a bit stretchy (not stiff). They are all different brands.

My son did not reliably put on his own shoes until he was probably 5. He went to a Montessori as well and somehow they coped with it. Some shoes he could get on and some he could not. We were NOT allowed to wear Crocs - they felt the kids were much more likely to twist their ankles in them on the playground.

It depends on the kid and depends on the shoes.

Some shoes are much harder to get on than others. Some kids who deal with winter conditions can have an easier time slipping boots on. Some kids do better with velcro. Some shoes have little tabs at the heel to help pull them on.

It just takes practice. A little wiggling, a little tugging. You might start with some "Vans" type shoes that basically just slip on.

He'll get the hang of it. My son loved putting his sister's shoes and my shoes on for fun. By 2-1/2, he was pretty skilled at his own. He sometimes got them on the wrong feet, but that's not too hard to correct.

Best wishes.

I think it depends on the kid, and the shoes. I always try to get shoes they can handle themselves. Crocs are nice but not appropriate for school. Sketchers with the velcro strap open up pretty big and then the strap is easy to buckle. Getting an easier shoe helps the teacher and it is great for your sons sense of accomplishment.

i would totally buy the crocs at least for school days. but it sounds like i'd have issues with this teacher too. i don't agree at all with pushing them in that way. (if it's still warm enough in fl, sandals with velcro straps are good too. although i still think 2 1/2 is pretty young to expect them to do it, that seems a little rigid)