Short Fuse/long Fuse

Took me 30+ years to realize the answer to this

Neither.

Short fuse means I am like a child throwing a temper tantrum and not thinking it through.

Long fuse means I hold a grudge, which gets to be some pretty heavy baggage to carry.

I found that after I unloaded all that (I'm in recovery - so it was via the steps), I didn't want to go back to being either guy.

So with some practice, I try not to have a fuse at all.

I accept that life isn't fair, and I'm not in control of anyone or anything else - only myself and my own reactions. I try to let the actions of other people be their own, and try to see what role I played when I find conflict.

I must be feeling philisophical today. Or maybe just particularly sober. :)

ETA - Hmmm - i don't know if I'd consider 30 seconds of argument a short fuse with 10 min? being a long fuse. I see what you mean though. I guess people do tend to call it that.

I meant more of the weeks or months of holding in a resentment until it explodes (long fuse, imo) - or for the professional grudge holders like myself - holding on to resentments for decades. Yes, decades.

I'm like you...long fuse, but in the meantime, I'm gathering evidence like a lawyer in heat, so if I feel the need to explode, I have back up data. May not be the best way to deal with things but its worked so far...I'm still married and stilll have my friends.

I honestly wish I had a short fuse. My short fuse friends blow up, get over it and all is well (for them at least).

i think ideally we would never have to "explode" at all, if we were emotionally mature and had good communication skills lol. having said that i am somewhere in the middle. not as long as once in 13 years, but maybe only once or twice a year. my husband has a short fuse. but to be fair, the few times i do blow up are always in response to one of his temper tantrums, because i can only "take" so much of it before i just have to stand up for myself. i'm glad you love your friend. i love my husband too. but i don't think a "short fuse" is really okay. it hurts peoples feelings and we should always try NOT to do that. just my two cents. like i said. i love my husband anyway.

It depends, there are somethings that are hot buttons and SHORT fuse and somethings that are just fine and have a longer fuse. I do however think it is healthier to not hold in agressions.

I have a long fuse, most of the people I know like me are exactly like me temper wise. Eventually there is the straw that broke the Camel's back, I blow up, work through it, and then it never happened.

The things leading up to it don't really bother me either. It really is don't sweat the small stuff. It just hits this point where it is really? Again? You seriously cannot.....

Most of the people I know with short fuses aren't as explosive as I am, I assume the building up causes that. Then again my ex was explosive, well beyond me, and shot fuse. Not a fun guy to be around. :(

I have a short fuse :(
I wish it was long, I definitely think long is better :)