Shoe Frustration

hello J.. my honest opinion is yes...she will get over it. if you give in to these kind of tantrums now at 19 months what will she expect and demand later. as long as the fit her she will be fine. explain to her (the best you can for her age) that you gave he an option and she would not chose any so you picked for her and that maybe next time SHE will get to choose her own "in her size" but until then...these are the shoes she will wear until then. she is becoming an individual and treading the waters and you don't want her to know she can act like that and win. if i helps any, once my one step-daughter went to school in pjs and slippers because she refused to get dressed. needless to say, she always got dressed after that. hope this helps and doesn't come across to rude. K.

if she already being the boss time to stop it now. Make sure the shoe fits properly, soft inside and that's that. 1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of nice shoes period.

Hi J.. I would not give in to her tantrums. You can try to explain to her when she is not throwing a tantrum that she has to have shoes that fit her. But you probably won't get far anyway. Just stick your ground. I am a mother of one child an eleven year old boy. I did the same mistake when he was little and left him pick almost everything out. It took and is still taking some adjustments for him not to just get everything he wants. You need to stop the power struggle or you will be fighting for a long time and it will be even harder to stop when she is older. What can sometimes be a good thing is that she is trying to be independent, you can pick 2 pair of shoes in her size that you like and let her pick from them. But don't do that all the time or she'll always want her way. If she throws a tantrum in the store take her out to the car immediately and do not tolerate that behavior in public. She is old enough for time-outs. You may want to get the video or book from the local library called 1-2-3 Magic. It helped me alot...

At this age, children start to want more independence. Obviously, we can't let them rule the roost but we can give them choices. Could you buy her 2 pair of shoes in the same size and then when she needs to wear them just say "Which pair do you choose to wear today?". That doesn't give her the choice on wether she is going to wear shoes or not (she has to if you are going out) but it does give her the choice of WHICH ones she will wear.
Also, if this just happened once, yesterday may just not have been a good day for her.

She's pushing the limits because that's what toddler's do. If you are inclined to let her pick her shoes, go back to a store and put 2 pairs of shoes in front of her and tell her, "pick the pair you want, otherwise Mommy will pick for you." That way, she get's to feel in control and you get to control the choices. Win-win. Make sure she is well rested and fed before you try again (don't go right before lunch/dinner or nap time), maybe sleepiness or hunger made her extra cranky last time.

If you are inclined to keep the shoes you grabbed, then tell her she did not cooperate when you picked out the shoes, so she has to wear these shoes, and next time she can pick the pair if she uses her manners and remains calm.

Who knows, in 2 days she might forget and wear the new shoes without incident. Good Luck!

Hi J.,
When my son was that age he HATED shoes. He would HOWL in Target, Kohl's etc. But I found if I took him to a Stride Rite store to have him measured and fitted --he behaved perfectly! Weird, but it worked. I guess it's having a stranger is a position of "authority."
Also, if you're really sure of her size, just go get the shoes yourself and bring them home & put them on her the next time she's getting dressed. Maybe do the whole thing on the down-low! Play it down.
There was a period of time when my son would not wear shoes at all--he wore these little navy blue fleece velcro slippers ALL THE TIME! Hang in there. Good luck!

Hi J.,
I am a new mom of a 20 month old little girl. She doesnt have a problem with shoes but, I found a pair of shoes that she LOVES!!!!!! She wants to wear them all the time even in the house. They are Crocks, well, the faux ones! I actually got them at Target in a light pink swirl. They are really cute and I know they are comfy cause I bought myself a pair. She wears them with socks (with pants) and without. They look really cute. I actually went back to Target this weekend to see if they had them in another colors in her size (5-6) and they only had a bright pink which really isnt what I was looking for. I know they have a Crock outlet at the new Limerick, PA outlets so I may try there but my daughter just loves these and they were only $8 at Target. Just a suggestion. Goodluck!
K.