C.L.
Aloha P.,
Your call is so honest and so needed for you to know that you, me, we are not alone, and that you will get through to the other side. Your anger is so understood and know its deeper than tubes not being tied.....
I remember having to get up every 2hours after going to bed, to roll my quadripligic son, to keep him from not only smothering himself but to keep his body from braking down and geting these horrific bed sores....
I finally started yelling at God...(and belive me I love God) But I couldnt see a way i could do it and continue on with caring for my other children and working and just living....
Then one 3:30am. ritual after a year of rolling, adjusting etc. I got a bit to rough, and my son cryed out...
I comforted him.... and as I left his room.... going to my room, I broke down and cried ,praying for God to help me..change me...change my anger...help me, give me His love mind body soul, attitude, perspective, stength, sleep......please
It happend...the next time I woke I was awake...I was able I was clear, i was not tired and I could go right back to sleep and be ready for the next shift as well as the day with life.
With my clearness, I was able to call...... social workers, churches, friends, of our state and ask for help. Help came for areas I didnt even think I needed help with and it made a difference, and help came where I needed help.
It has been an unreal journey and today, I would'nt change it for the world.
You are right, God does have another plan for you and your children. You all have been chosen to make a difference in other peoples lives. You are a blessing and P.,
you are a powerful woman and a powerful wonderful mommie!
I hope this helps alittle,
Aloha Ke Akua,
C.