Sharing Toys at Neighborhood Park?

Updated on October 19, 2010
C.C. asks from Branson, MO
13 answers

Do you allow other kids to borrow your kids toys when at the park? Do you insist they let everyone have a turn? Or is it too much of a hassle?

We ususally go after dinner to the park. I have been letting kids take turns using the items, but had a problem today with a boy refusing to give any other child a turn . Even when I told him I owned it and it was the other kid's turn, he ignored me. Normally the kids work out whose turn it is, but now a bunch of different kids are coming.. I like to read and relax outside when I am at the park. I don't want to supervise and referee kids.

His family sat there, across the park watching, but doing nothing. Finally I told him if I have to get up to come get it, he won't get a turn next time. When I got up and headed toward the toy, his family was annoyed . He got off and walked away when he saw me coming which is good because I would not grab something away from a kid I only know from the park. Plus, I hate drama.

Does anyone here share toys? I don't want to say only the kids I KNOW can use it and I don't want the kids I take to have to say yes everytime. Any ideas?
I did think about saying they have to use the riding toys and go in a circle on the sidewalk. After one lap, it would be the next person's turn.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Don't take toys to the park---that is what the park toys are for. Problem solved. Honestly, it really irritates me when I take my daughter to the park and other kids are there with their cars, ride-ons, stuff like that. There is never enough for everyone and then I spend half the time refereeing. Leave the toys at home.

3 moms found this helpful

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B.

answers from Augusta on

we don't take toys to the park unless they are things like a Frisbee that a group can play with. I don't think it's a good idea to take one child toys to the park for this very reason.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

The only toys we take to the park are frisbees, different balls, etc things that can be played with by a group.

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K.S.

answers from Columbus on

We don't take toys to the park. The kids are too busy running and playing with the park equipment. The only exception might be a sand box and I like the idea of yogurt containers. This requires the children to use their imaginations.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

It depends on the toy. Personally, I wouldn't take a riding toy to the park. A couple of matchbox cars, a ball, some action figure....but nothing that my kid doesn't mind losing or I can't put in my bag.
I remind the kids that they MIGHT have to share their toy when they get to the park. Usually that prompts them to leave toys at home.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

the only toy we ever bring to the park is a ball. When we go to the park it's to play on the equipment or run off our energy, not to play with toys.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

we bring toys and share. it doesnt always work out, but thats what learning is all about, just like anything else you have to teach and teach as it comes up

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

personally I wouldn't bring anything that I wouldn't mind my kids sharing. And when it comes to sand toys, I save various sizes of yogurt containers to use as scoops and buckets and bring those, so if some other kid gets "attached" to it, it's no big deal b/c we've got more at home :-)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If my child is playing with another child and has a toy than I suggest he shares, but I do not make them share with every child at the playground. I once let a little girl borrow my sons bike at a playground. When he wanted it she would not return it, so I told her it was his and we were leaving and she needed to get off. She refused. I was at wits end, I would not lay my hands on someone else's child, but I needed the bike back. When I headed towards her mother to help with the situation (mom was clueless), the girl threatened me, saying she knew were I lived and she was going to come to my home when we were sleeping and set it on fire!!! I told the girls mother what she said, and the mother was very angry and they left, BUT STILL! Now I do not let the boys share bikes unless it is one of their friends. Small toys are not an issue since they are cheap to replace if they get lost or taken.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

The park we usually go to is great about this. The norm is that ALL kids drop off their sand toys in the sand box when they get there. EVERYONE plays with whichever toy they want to. The working it out and taking turns gets dealt with the same as the rest of the playground equipment... it has nothing to do with the person who owns it, and no adult really supervises the turn taking except to help a child work it out (ie, "why don't you ask him if you can use it after him?"). The only time you hear "that's mine" is when someone is getting ready to leave. (the exception is on Saturday mornings when a million families are there waiting for soccer games and it's a madhouse)

Kids do ask about using others' ride on toys which makes sense because different families have different rules about helmets etc. I wouldn't enjoy getting in the middle of policing turn taking though.

In general, it works well for me just to let kids work it out or point out when someone is waiting for something, but not try to police how long each kids turn can be. Just like the swings, or slide, or monkey bars... kids can use them as long as they want. Part of waiting your turn is... well... waiting :-/

HTH,
T.

S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Age of the children?
Presumption of understanding words/concept by other child?
Some kids don't learn "sharing" as early as others.
Or never . . . depending on their home environment.
Do you think that child's parents realized
that the toy in question was your child's toy?
How do you know they were annoyed?

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I take sand toys if there is a sand pit/sand box. We don't have one at home, and my 3 year old will spend the whole time happy as a clam in the sand.

We share toys we are not currently playing with. If my boys are playing with their toys, I do not expect them to share with kids they don't know at the park.

If we have ridden things to the park, I expect them to stay parked until we ride home. Occasionally my 5 year old will ride his scooter, but I do not expect him to share (even with his brother) while we are there.

Does that help?

J.

S.L.

answers from New York on

We've always taken bikes or ride on toys to park and no one has ever asked to use it, I'd say "you have to ask your Mom/Dad first and get their permission" this makes it better if child gets hurt and now the parent knows the toy belongs to you and approx when did their child start a turn using the toy.

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