Shared Bed!

Although my three children still try to sleep with my husband and I, they do enjoy sleeping in their own beds. Because I was/am a nursing mom, co-sleeping is almost instinctive so, needless to say, I had them with me in bed from the moment they were each born. However, we knew it was important that they learn how to sleep on their own and were able to "sell" the idea by making a HUGE deal about it and putting a theme around it. For example, when we knew it was time for our eldest to move to his own "big boy bed" (he was around 3 yrs old) we prepared him weeks in advance that his "dinosaur bed" was coming. It was such an event and he became so excited about it that upon its arrival (a regular captain's bed with a whole dinosaur comforter set theme), he couldn't wait to sleep in it. We transformed his room while he was out during the day so that when he came home, there it was - "dinosaur bed", a matching stegosaurus lamp, and a T-rex stuffed animal to top it off. Our second child (now 3 yrs) always slept in his bed because he followed his older brother. Our youngest (just turned one) we have yet to discover what he'll do, but he goes to sleep in his crib by himself (something his two older brothers never did), so hopefully this is setting the tone for an easy transition in the near future.

I'll admit that there are (MANY) mornings my husband and I will wake up to all three boys in between us in all sorts of positions. All I can do is smile...and I truly indulge when they do, because I know before long these days will be gone.

I would strongly consider waiting a little while before putting them in their own bed (bedroom)....only for the reasons you have mentioned that 1) you are recently divorced, so keeping things that have made them happy and secure as much the same as possible for a while will create the least disruption in their current life since there has been so much change and upheaval and 2) you recently moved, so yet more change and more chance for insecurity, stress, anxiety, etc... If it were me, I would keep them close, giving them as much continued security as possible. It may seem minor to us as adults, and WE know that they are still safe, loved, etc but to small children it can be a scary and lonely and give a sense of being pushed out, away, etc...especially during such a difficult time. Congrats on sharing your bed with them for this long....what a wonderful gift you have given them and shared soooo much more time, cuddles, closeness than you ever would have otherwise. What a special memory they will have, and you as well :-)

If you can afford it take him to the store and let him pick out his own bedding. Also a sleeping buddy, stuffed toy of some type. Get an old style alarm clock that makes the ticking sound. Or a radio alarm that you can set to shut off after an hour. The more comfortable you make it the easier it will be for him. At bed time make a big deal over his sleeping in a new bed like a big boy. Read him a story. Do the same thing every night. Washing up or bathing, potty, brush teeth. Have him get in his bed and tell him you will be there in a minute to read a book. That will speed him up and also give him assurance. Then wait a couple of minutes and go in and read him a book. Two if you have to. Set the alarm or radio. Have him give his stuffed animal a name. Talk to his stuffed animal and kiss it and tell it goodnight. If you pray make the bedtime prayer part of the routine. Include his stuffed animal. Do the same for you daughter. But give them each their own bed time attention and equal time. You will find that at first he may sneak into your bed but if you keep up with the same routine it won't take long for him to sleep in his bed like a big boy. Also, be sure to mention to others in front of him how he is going to sleep in his own bed like a big boy. Be sure to give him praise for any amount of time he stays in his bed. Good Luck!

Same situation with me, a new house is perfect time to start.Night lights, and explaining that since your son just turned____ months, it is now his privilege to sleep in his own bed.It took a few days of putting them back in their own bed when i would wake up with them snuggled back in bed with me. You might try a "saturday night sleep with mom" ONCE a month as an incentive.But I found after 3 or 4 nights they adapted, i also went to goodwill and decorated each kids room using their favorite themes(care bears, spongebob) it hardly cost me a thing that way.I also asked other moms if they had anything left over that fit the theme, got a ton of stuff that way! The kids loved their rooms, and were proud to sleep there.

Congratulations on all the great cuddly memories you gave your kids through co-sleeping! Now that it's time to wean them to their own beds, you can get some ideas on the way that's right for your family from some great resources. Some of the ideas listed there are things like: make a big deal about buying the big kid bed, putting their new bed mattress on the floor next to your bed as a stepping stone before you put them in their own room or having the siblings sleep together in a new bed. You might check out askdrsears.com or the book "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. William Sears which is available at most libraries.

I don't have any experience with this, but one thing popped into my head that I'm sure you have thought of already. Since you recently moved, go shopping with them and have them pick out their own rooms. Make a big deal about how they get their own now and let them decorate and help paint etc... Also, don't push them in once the rooms are ready. If they stay vacant for awhile, don't worry. Just keep reminding them that they are there and see if they make the move themselves. However, you did not mention their ages, so I'm not sure if that applys. Have them pick out a cool nightlight to keep in the hall so they feel comfortable enough knowing that they can see if they need to get up at night. Good luck!

Hi Jeri!
I have gone through this same dilemma with my two girls. There are a couple of tricks: First, prepare their rooms to be a comfy place for them. For my eldest (3 1/2), this meant a special night light, a Care Bear pillow that we bought just for her, and a blanket that she loves. Then, on the day of the inaugural night, I prepared her by telling her that it was a special day because she was going to GET TO sleep in her very own bed, and that it was going to be so much fun, and that we were going to read her favorite story together. Then, make it special! Maybe get her a new, small stuffed animal, and present it to her at bed time. Definitely read the stories together, but always prep her for when you are going to leave. You can say something like, "OK, we are going to read this story, and then I will give you a big hug and a kiss, and then you get to snuggle with your animal and go night night." Good luck!!! Rosie

My ? is how old are your children.
If they are school age,you could try to tell them if they would like to have sleep overs they must sleep in their own rooms not in yours.
If they are notI would try this let them fall asleep in your room then carry them to their own bed.Or try this method sit with them till they fall asleep in their own bed.
Hope some of this helps you out.Keep us updated.
K. J

Hi Jeri,
I made the mistake of letting my son sleep with us from the day he was born because I was breast feeding and what a bad decision that was! He was six years old before we got him to sleep in his own bed in his own room. We tried letting him fall to sleep in our bed and then moving him to his bed but as soon as he would wake up he would climb into bed with us. It didnt help that he was a climber either because I would put him in his crib when he was younger and when he woke up he would just climb out and get in bed with us again. We finally bought him a bigger (big boy) bedroom set and put our dog in the bed with him for company and from that night on he never got in bed with us again. I believe it was the dog that did it, he just needed a warm body near him. It has been five years now and our dog still sleeps with him every night. I hope this helps you.

D.