Hi. I'd like to share with you my experience.
When I married, my husband only wanted joint accounts which was fine with me. He made more money and I felt that he should be able to make the financial decisions because I didn't have a college degree, he was helping me pay for college, pay off college loans, etc. I worked very hard to "earn my keep." In the end, I felt I "owed" him because he "let" me live in a nice lifestyle and I was "just" a stay-at-home mom.
Today I am a divorced, single mom of two young girls. I cannot blame my decisions to allow my ex to handle all the finances on my divorce but it certainly conributed to it. I think a joint account is okay for expenses, handling household financial issues, but I think each spouse needs his/her own money.
In the future, here's how I want my finances to go if/when I decide to remarry.
1. Separate accounts. Maybe one joint account that we both can use, but I will keep separate accounts. This way, each one of us is responsible and has authority too. this is very important to me. In my marriage I had a lot of responsibility financially but none of the power. Not good!
2. Money does not solve money problems. Talk about the issues and come up with a compromise. This will not happen in one day. Research how successful couples handle money. Check out Clarkhoward.com or Suze Ormon's webpage.
3. Get you name on EVERYTHING!!!!!!! Today!!!!!! God forbid anything happens to your husband but you must put your name on any jointly owned property, etc. I did insist on that and he agreed. The only way I got out of the divorce with the assets I did is because I insisted I be a partner on the things I did. Now I know I'll do more of that in my next relationship. there is strength in numbers!
4. Remember that a marraige is a partnership and when it comes to money, it's a good idea to think of a business model. Each partner contributes differently. As a stay-at-home mom, I contributed a lot but not financially. It didn't reduce the value of what I did. Each partner may keep his/her own business separate but make sure each partner has equal authority over shared assets. This may take some time and some creativity to figure out a plan but it is necessary!
It's obvious that you're a financially responsible adult. Talk with your husband and ask what his fears are about sharing the financial responsibility of the household with you is. Most likely it has nothing to do with you!
Good luck.