Well, I was getting dressed too, but anyways, I have pretty much given up on plastic surgery. :( I am just too much of a chicken. But 3 pregnancies have really wrecked my stomach, its really just ugly. Im pretty sure my boobs have gotten smaller after each kid.
I have come to the realization that I cannot be perfect, and I need to relax about it. My husband loves every inch of me and wont ever leave me alone, but still when we are intimate, I feel uncomfortable with the way I look. I wish I could see me like he does, but I guess I am just too vain.
Oh, and it doesnt help seeing tiny little moms with their perfect bellies chasing after their kids. I am totally jealous.
You all are smart, I need advice on how to stop being so stupid!
I swear I usually am a pretty confident person, until I take my shirt off....
i have a group of friends all with kids 6-8 years older than M. with not one stretch mark and not one ounce of fat so I get how you feel. I'm the same way but I think the mom's below have awesome advice and i'm going to try and listen to it too=)
My husband has a bit of a beer belly, can't imagine what caused that. :p I don't notice because I love him. I see it, obviously, but I don't see it as ugly, it is just part of the wonderful man I love.
I keep peace with myself by assuming he sees me the same way. :)
The other thing is what Nikki touched on. You look good, you may very well be the little mom that other women are jealous of.
When I used to blog I did an essay on this. Pretty much we see the perfection in others by judging them by what we see as a failure in us. Trust me my essay was far more eloquent. :)
What it means is while you are looking at those little moms with the perfect bellies they may very well be looking at you with your perfect smile. They are not seeing their perfect bellies, they are seeing in you what they are lacking. Does that make sense?
Your not stupid at all! All of us have some sort of insecurity! Keep looking at youself and be proud of what and who you are! Your a wife anda mother, enough said. YOU are a beautiful person! I went through the samething, I was soo thin and hated the way I looked, I was soo insecure and depressed, I was a size 00, I loved it when I was pregnant! My husband still loved me for ME and that was the important part. I have a belly, stretch marks and all! I also have cellulite too! And im a size 2! I dont let any of that bother me, I have learned (the hard way) to love myself just the way I am, big or small. We all have gone through this feeling at some point of our lives and its normal. I also know what you mean about the "perfect body" mama's out there, but the majority of the one's out here have had plastic surgery which is fine but i'm ALL about doing it natural. I say give yourself more credit hun! Doll yourself up and flaunt it! Good luck!
HOLY SNAP! Molly-I just looked at your profile pic! Are ya kidding me!? Talk about GORGEOUS! Are we being punk'd? LOL!
Learn to look at yourself through the reflection that you see when you look into your husband's eyes. When you see the love and desire in his eyes, use that look as your image of yourself.
We, as women, have a much harder time with the natural changes age and childbirh cause in our bodies. I believe that most of this is societal - we are bombarded by images of thin, lithe women who, in reality, have nothing in common with 99% of the females on the planet.
Don't compare yourself to other women because we are all unique in our own ways, our physical being is only one of those ways. And, for all you know, that tiny little Mom with the perfect belly has a horrible marriage and a husband whose eyes don't express what your husband's eyes express when he looks at you.
You are beautiful, and smart, and so not stupid.
I agree with Nikki, you look fabulous, I'm jealous of you! Enjoy our body, you've had 3 kids and look that great, don't compare yourself to any one. Start saying positive remarks about yourself, no negative...
Its called low/NO self esteem and I so wish there was a way around it because I am in the same boat as you. I have always had low self esteem and I drive my husband crazy with the fact that I pick myself apart on a daily basis. I just had my second baby two weeks ago so I am really struggling with the way I look right now. I know that once I stop breastfeeding I will be left with no boobs and I have a stomach of streatch marks and and and. I wish I had an answer for you because I know first hand how awful it feels to not like the skin you are in but I can only suggest that you try your hardest to listen to your husband when he showers you with compliments because its really not the looks that makes a person and you have to try to just look past whatever negative you think is there. Maybe try to focus on why you look the way you do - ie. your kids and the fact that you have a loving husband and you have your health etc
Good Luck
Molly, you are GORGEOUS!
You look like Miranda Lambert, but more cute (is it cuter more cute?)
And you have a good body too.
We (you, me and many others) are so hard on our selves.
A) I wish my boobs got smaller with my second, they hurt my back and no longer can go without bra, ever! good bye spaghetti straps shirts/dress.
B) Our stomach WILL shrink if we work hard and eat well...when we put our mind on it. It may no go back to what we were before kids but it will be nice in our new hot mama body.
Your husband loves you, likes you and enjoy you.
I think you are his favorite recreation park (I say this without trying to be offensive but fun) some changes only adds to the fun!
If you want to tone a little, you can do it. But in the mean time don't let this feeling bother you.
Besides, they do change too, I may have gain some weight but he lost hair, so I rub his head and he rubs my belly, LOL!!
Well, Molly, when a friend of mine in her 30's with a bomb-shell figure (I've seen her in a bikini, so she isn't just hiding it!) told me last month that she hopes that after she finally has children and is my age, that she looks as good as me, I finally started to let go of wishing that my body were better. She didn't have to say it, and it brought tears to my eyes.
My husband likes the way I look, but it took hearing that from my girlfriend, unsolicited, to make me open my eyes that I should be happy for what God has given me. I can't make you feel the same, but I wish you would.
Hugs,
Dawn
Molly, umm, ok, I don't look as good as you do and I haven't had kids yet. You are lookin' good, mama! Try not to get caught up in it too much. You have a loving husband and a beautiful family. There are SO many people out there, skinny or not, that wish they could have what you have. :) Embrace yourself!
I half came here hoping that someone answered this with the magic answer, cuz i could've wrote this! I hate my belly, I hate that my butt seems to go all the way up to my waist! But at the same time I'm a promotional model and get told all the time how great I look! And my husband too tells me constantly how he has the most beautiful wife out there!
We are our own worst critics....but we need to sit back and be realistic I think. I mean....I'm 40 and have had 2 kids....I think I'm supposed to have some jiggle! LOL
And frankly....I shouldn't be allowed to complain, cuz I don't do ANYTHING about it! I have a beer or 2 every night...I cook with butter, I eat what I want, and have NEVER exercised a day in my life. LOL
I'm at an "ideal" weight according to my BMI. But my belly is full of stretched out skin and lumpy. I know I need to tone my core, and I am working on it. But for now, I wear "shape ware" to hold that tummy in. I feel so much better about myself, and it helps me have better posture and everything.
As far as sex goes...find something with a binding type corset, its sexy and will give you shape where you need it. :)
