Sex Post-Pregnancy

Updated on April 30, 2008
J.S. asks from Missoula, MT
11 answers

My husband and I plan to have our baby in our room for the first bit after she is born for ease of care and because we're finishing remodeling a room right now that will be our home office and then we are going to transfer the office to the remodeled room and make the current office the baby room. We're concerned about having sex in our room while the baby is in there. Does anyone know anything about whether it's harmful to have the baby in the room or any advice about that?

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S.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

Thank you Sandra! I'm so glad to hear someone else is just like me. No you are not the only mother to have a "hard" time with the 6 weeks rule...and I was a C-section too!!! LOL

And J., I agree with them...the child will not even remember it...if he does, my child is giong to be SOOOO messed up *wink & smile*. My son is still sleeping in his pack-and-play right next to my side of the bed and he's 5 months old. The only trick is trying to get "it" done while the baby is asleep if you don't want to do it while she's awake. My son seems to have a sixth sense about this and never fails to wake up right in the middle, but we certainly make due...!!! Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Denver on

We kept all our babies in our room for the first 3 months of their lives. We did occassionally have sex, but only if the baby was asleep and we were very quiet about it. Finding privacy for ourselves was really much better (like taking advantage of a baby monitor and a different room!)

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I personally never had intercourse with my husband while my baby was in our room, but I know many people who have and their children seem to have turned out fine. All I know is that those first few weeks or even months is all about baby and sex is usually the last thing on your mind:)

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi J., Congrats! You must be in your second trimester, if you are already worring about sex after the baby! Past the nausea and not too big and uncomfortable that you can still enjoy.

Don't worry, your baby will be fine. Most babies sleep through anything. If you do have one that doesn't, like other mom's suggested, just move your little one to the pack n play or swing. Or you can move to a new location and let your angel sleep! As it's been said already, you should wait 6 wks. It's not that you might not want to have sex, it is that your body needs time to heal. I had one c-section & 5 vaginal deliveries. Every one was different. C-section harder to recop the first 2 wks. After that it was much easier then episiotomy. Sometimes 6 wks seemed like forever! So did 9 mo without a margarita:) Good luck and don't stress about it.

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We planned to have the baby in the room too, and we did for a few nights, but he was a loud sleeper (he tossed and turned, and I woke up to every little sound!) so we put him in the room next to ours, in a Pack-n-Play bassinnette, which worked great until he was 15 pounds. Since you aren't supposed to have sex for 6-8 weeks after delivery anyway, depending on how your delivery goes, you may find it is time to move your baby to a room close by after that time frame anyway. You will find that when they are little you don't need a big nursery, a small corner of a room or even the hallway will work if it means you can sleep! As long as you have what you need in the middle of the night, it's more important that you get your sleep than that they are in a fully furnished nursery. If you luck out and get a good sleeper, I think it won't matter if you have sex with the baby in the room, as long as you don't wake him/her up!! Ha. Lots of luck--you are in for the greatest experience of your life with the birth of your little angel!

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C.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When we first had our son, we were in a one-room apartment, so there was no choice but to have him with us in the bedroom. We hung a white sheet from the ceiling, between our bed and the crib that we would let down at night (creating 'separate rooms'). This made it a lot easier for us to be intimate without worrying about how it might affect our son. Plus, it just made me more comfortable and able to stop being 'mom' and instead focus on being a wife. Hope this helps!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

My personal rule is this.....if they can sit up and ask what we are doing it won't be happening around them, seriously it is fine under about 16-17 months it really is a comfort thing for you to figure out, it isn't going to harm the baby in any way!

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J.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

You have no worries. They are so little and do not understand sex at all. I would not worry about it. My daughter was next to us in a bassinett for the first month, but we never had sex because we were told to wait 6 weeks after you give birth. They will tell you the same unless you want to turn around right away and have another. Your body needs time to heal. I am not sure how long she will be in the room with you but needless to say, it will not have any affect on your baby at all. Congrats!
J. S

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

I must be one of the few mom's out there that really had a hard time with the none for 6 week notion... let's just say we didn't wait 6 weeks after a c-section. However, to answer your question, I agree with one of the other mom's, until they are old enough to sit up and start interacting, they are probably none the wiser. On another note, think of all of our ancestors that lived in one bedroom houses, or huts with no rooms and had lots of kids! That generation seemed to be very discreet about sex, but I know that someone that had 16 kids had to be having sex.

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L.N.

answers from Providence on

Babies are so little and are not completely aware of the world around them. I think it's totally fine to have sex while the baby is in the crib in the same room. We had our little boy in our room for the first 3 months and then moved him to his own room at that point and that is where he is right now. So I don't think it's an issue at all. You aren't supposed to have sex for 6 wks after delivery though and I am still sore down there and it's been 5 months, so it's a transitioning process. Although some of my friends didn't have any tenderness afterwards. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My daughter slept in our room for almost a year. My husband and I had sex and my daughter is none the wiser:) We put her in a pack in play when we wanted "alone" time and it worked well for us. When she got a little older we would move her into her room until she woke up. My daughter was also a huge fan of her baby swing so she slept in that sometimes too:) Don't beat yourself up about having sex with her in the room... she isn't going to remember any of it and you'd be suprised that she'll probably sleep through the whole thing:) Good luck!!

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