Sex Ed. in School

Updated on October 21, 2011
L.A. asks from Redford, MI
7 answers

My son’s school goes up to the 6th grade but plans to add higher grades next year. The principal asked me yesterday to sit on a committee made up of school staff and parents. This committee has been put together to address the sex education program which will be implemented for children in sixth grade and above. I don’t mind serving on the committee (even though my son is currently only in first grade. I’m sure I was asked because I am always active and involved in the school) but, I don’t know what to expect. I’m not quite sure what the committee is expected to do or what issues to anticipate. I’m just trying to get a clue. Anybody experience anything like this? What was your experience? What does a parent contribute to a committee such as this (I imagine the curriculum would be already set right)? I don't know.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Good for you for agreeing to sit on this committee.

I have been on many of these committees over the years.. Now that our daughter has graduated, many times I am still called to be a "community" member."

What usually happens is they will show you some proposals of different curriculum's. Or they are going to just show you what they have decided on and you all will review it to make suggestions etc.

They will explain the way it has been presented in the past. and what has been added or deleted.
Great way to meet staff and other parents.

They will explain how long this subject will be taught,what time of the year, what type of parental involvement will be needed, How will the parents be informed. What the curriculum includes like reading material. work sheets, videos. etc.

At our schools, parents are given the option to pull their children out of classes during this subject if the parents do not want their children to be a part of this. Usually the students are sent to the library.

They are hoping you will represent what parents will have questions, concerns, or additions, you may suggest.

Do not guess what the other parents will want, just say , "I personally believe", "I feel", "I am concerned".. This way no one will think you are speaking for all of the parents.

If you have any questions or concerns, this is a safe place to bring it up.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I want to be clear, that no Sex Ed has been taught at all in your child's elementary school? And they are just starting to look at implementing programs?

First, the staff and principal must think quite highly of you and respect you to invite you to join a committee - any committee. Congratulations on being an active parent in your son's school.

My recommendation is that you attend and listen attentively and quietly the first go around to learn the main purpose of the committee. Then decide if this is something for you to continue to support.

Parents can and do play huge roles in many school committees. There are many teachers who are not parents, so having your input and presence can be ever so helpful in more ways than can be described.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

What a fascinating topic to be invited to hear!

I wonder what kind of information you could find by doing an internet search on sex ed curriculum, just to see what range of options are in existence. You might go to the public library and have a librarian help with a search on a professional database in order to get information from educators rather than just public reaction to any given program. I'd want to go into the committee with some background information, but that's just my personal approach. The school may want you to just provide your views for what it presents to you.

Have fun!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Our schools presented 2 versions of material and the parents voted on one. Their vote with the administration determined what was presented to the students. This was also an opportunity to speak about any concerns about the curriculum. Any time the kids had sex ed offered, we were given an opportunity to review the material first (so we could decide if the kid would see it - you can opt out - or to know what was being said so we could follow up at home).

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

We talk to our kids about their bodies and sex waaaaay before the school gets their hands on them!! Here the class is given in 5th grade...we went through it last year. It was a pediatrician,principal and male teacher that discussed with the boys. Parents attended a meeting ahead of time to view the movie and discuss with the adults any questions. It was all very well done.

I would totally take the opportunity if the school asked me to be on the committee. Go for it!!

Our kids are 11,9 and 5. The oldest is a boy and we have a very open dialogue. He comes home and tells us everything kids are talking about at lunchtime, everything mentioned in the locker room and everything in between. We have had to talk about oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, homosexuality, slang terms for all of these etc. He has questions and we answer them without any sense of shame or embarrassment.

He feels comfortable coming to us. He feels strong and secure in his own skin and his own decision, as of now, to save intimacy for marriage. We did the same in our marriage, and we talk about the benefits of doing so. He feels so sad for his friends that have no daddy and sees the distruction of families due to sex outside of marriage. THis is not something we berate him with. He is putting two and two together and understanding these issues in his own head.

I think too many parents want to keep sex and anything sexually related far away from casual talk amongst parent and child. I can't stress how detrimental this is for your relationship and for your child. It instills shame and a wall between you. Your child then learns things from friends without having a loving and caring adult to bounce these ideas and myths off of.

Go and be on the committee. Talk to your husband about how you are going to start now to discuss these things with your son...on a simple level. Start now! I am not talking penetration and all positions of sex. I am talking about making him feel comfortable with his body. Talk about how a doctor will need to touch his body when you are in the room with him...or you might need to help him bathe or in the restroom but no one else has the right to touch your body. Talk about how glorious our bodies are and that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and they should do everything they can to protect and love their baby. THese are just ways to start small on the concept and then you build upon it as he grows. This starts the dialogue when he is young...so when the big topics come up then he will come to you two...and none of you will be surprised or embarrassed.

Good luck and best wishes!! It is wonderful that you are so involved and respected at the school that they want you to help with such and important and delicate subject.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I would think that there would be a general agenda but you guys would discuss and additions or deletions. I think sex education is very necessary and I am pretty liberal on things like this so I would love it.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Feel honored and take an active role if possible. Too many schools are NOT doing this and hence many more babies.

Not every parent is going to go out and buy a book for their child explaining the changes in their body. Sometimes the parents are ashamed or didn't get that as a child and don't know how to present to their own child.

My kids got sex ed classes in 5th and 6th grades. In fact my son missed a class and I got him the book "What's happening to me?" And he loved it. I asked him to read it and if he had any questiions to come to me so that we could go over them.

Good luck with the post and keep us posted on the outcome.

The other S.

PS My daughter said she waited because she had to watch a film on the birth of a child and how the mother decked the husband because he got in her focal point. Then there were the slides of the actual STDs that grossed her out. But then this was a military DODD school overseas and the curriculum is a lot different than stateside civilian schools.

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