I hope this is ok to say on here, but were all moms so I'm sure someone will understand. I had my second son 2 1/2 months ago and I am still very sore down there where the stiches were. My husband and I have tryed to have sex 3 times since the baby and I just can't do it. I hurts so bad. I feel like I'm gonna tear again or something. I feel bad for my husband and myself.I remember being sore after my first son but I dont think it lasted this long. So my question is should I call my dr. Is this ok/ normal and will it get better on its own? I don't know what to do! Has anyone been through this? Can someone give advice?
I went through the same thing after having my daughter. It got tolerable after about six months, but my daughter is two now and it's never been the same.
assuming you have an ok from the dr, i would try to get as relaxed as possible. get a sitter, take a nap, get a massage, and take it slow. to be honest, i took a mild pain killer/ relaxer the first time. i think i wanted it more than my hubby! anyhow, after about 2 times, it was back to normal.
good luck, liz
Did you go for your post natal visit? I was given the okay to start sexual activity after these visits once the doctor was able to determine that I had healed from my deliveries. I had a first degree episiotomy with my son and I had a third degree tear with my daughter and didn't experience pain once I was healed. I would want my doctor to make sure things are completely healed.
You sound very normal to me! Pretty much that is how it was for me after both of my kids. If you are concerned I would call your dr. unless you just think you need a little more time to completely heal. Go with your gut feeling. Also, I remember after the 3rd or 4th time it felt 'normal'. The first time or two was still sore but not too bad. Just communicate to your husband and ask him to be gentle. (They can do that!) And use lots of lube!!!!!
Hi L.,
Well this is very normal. My husband and I had the same problem. One way to help him with this until you feel better is try other forms of sex (oral)or foreplay. Sorry if its explict just some advice that may help you. good luck
It was very painful for me as well for the LONGEST time but come to find out mine was cause my birth control pills were drying me out so bad that not even a lubricant would last. Once I stopped the pills I was back to normal. But I would also maybe see your OB like the other mom said just to make sure that you have healed properly.
I know what you are going through. I had my 2nd son 9 months ago and there are still times where sex is uncomfortable for me. I had a 4th degree tear with my first and a 2nd degree with my 2nd son. I think that tearing or being cut over again builds up more scare tissue and makes you more sensitive.
I didn't have any problems after I had my first but after having our 2nd, it was much more painful and did feel like I was tearing again every time we had sex. It's gotten better over time though.
If it's really bothering you I'd mention it to your OB/GYN.
Good luck,
L.
it's VERY normal.... VERY VERY VERY normal. I had almost a 4th degree episotomy...and it took me forever to heal... he just needs to be loving... supportive and to wait you out (and my doctor said --sorry to be so frank - use LOOOOTS of lube)....
I had my vaginal delivery 8 years ago (a c-section nearly 2 years ago)and had the episotomy. For me, the discomfort lasted nearly nine months. Ok, I'm about to get real blunt here so if this is TMI, I apologize. For me, the discomfort was the initial insertion, after a couple of careful strokes, the discomfort pretty much subsided. So I think the other lady who said you have to kind of stretch the area out a little is right. I'm sure you know to use a lubricant to reduce the friction on the scar. I used to think to myself that its a good thing men don't go too long because I could handle it for just a few minutes. At some point, it just seemed to get back to normal. It might be worth a visit to the OB so he/she can check and make sure everything has healed ok. In the meantime, if you can't deal with the intercourse, help your husband with his needs another way, believe me, he'll love you for it! LOL
I know exactly what your talking about, I had my son over 7 months ago. It is just now starting to feel not so horrible anymore. I had an episiotomy and tore also, so it felt like I was tearing again everytime also. This might sound gross but it just has to stretch out again. I was in the mind set that I didn't want to b/c I thought it was really going to hurt, so my poor husband suffered b/c of it.
I had this problem after my first actually, and it was suggested to me that I use a cream (I believe it was progesterone cream??) to help the healing. It was given to me by my OB,and it did seem to help. Just remember that there are other ways to enjoy intimacy, and also remember that due to a change in hormones you may be a little "drier" in that area. ( Sorry I just could not come up with a better way to put it..I tried :). So anyway, be sure to use something to help that, and do the best you can! It will get better, but you and your husband need to work together to make that happen for both of you. I am 5 months preg. and my poor husband is wondering if we will every be intimate again, but I am soooo sick that is the last thing on my mind! Ahh, the price we all pay for our kids. Good luck ~A.~
