Hi there,
Our daughter likes to play with two kids in our neighbourhood and both of them have parents who have very different boundaries than we do. They let their kids do things we wouldn’t. For example, one neighbour has backyard chickens and their daughter plays with them like pets. The chickens are filthy and there are rats burrowing under the coop. We’re concerned about disease and don’t want our daughter playing with them often. These neighbours also let their child bring the chickens to the park where there are dogs playing. I worry one day a dog is going to go for the chickens and one of the kids will get hurt or they’ll be traumatized watching the chickens be killed. I don’t mind my daughter playing at their house but I don’t know how I let them know that I don’t want her playing with the chickens. I feel like I’m the only parent who says no to anything and I worry about how this is affecting my child. How do I talk to them about this without offending them??
Thanks
Hi again everyone. To those of you who took the time to provide thoughtful, respectful answers, thank you!
I totally agree with what some of you have said regarding making the rules for my child and asking her to follow them versus talking to the neighbour. We have already set limits with her that she is able to follow. She is aware of our rules and follows them to the best of her ability. The problem is that the neighbours have them playing with the chickens every time she goes over to their house. I was hoping for advice on how to sensitively talk to neighbours we really care for about not playing with the chickens when they’re at their house. The girls have a great relationship and we don’t want to stop play dates all together, just the chicken play.
To those of you who suggested that playing with the chickens is fine/safe and I should let her because of the value of time with nature and animals: I agree, there is great value in relationships with animals. She has that. We have pets that she cares for, we volunteer at our local animal shelter, and we spend time in nature on a near daily basis. Regarding the safety of these chickens; I wasn’t looking for advice about whether I should let her play with them (and when I say play with them, they are not just letting the kids simply pet them. They pick them up, carry them around in their arms or baby carriers, they’re in their playhouse, and the list goes on). I’ve already done my research. Please educate yourselves before providing advice about things you haven’t researched yourself. While the risks of well cared for and regularly maintained backyard chickens (i.e., regularly mucked coops, coops kept free of other disease carrying vermin like rats) are low, the risks are much higher and much more serious when they are not well maintained as is the case with these chickens. By-laws exist for a reason.
To “talkstotrees”, you seem to have made a lot of assumptions with very little information. I gather from your comments that you have mistakenly assumed I don’t allow my child to take any risks. That’s a big leap from what I posted.
This was my first time posting in a group like this. I can see now it’s not the right forum for me so I’ll be removing myself from it.
But again, to those of you who took the time to provide thoughtful, respectful comments, I really do thank you.
Keep playdates at your house, away from the chickens.
I cannot imagine why a chicken would ever cross the road.
Also though, as some others say below, chickens are no more dangerous than other animals. They’re nothing to be, you know, “chicken” about.
Don’t talk to the neighbors. These are your boundaries, not theirs. If you don’t want your child to touch the chickens then you have to explain to your child why (in age appropriate way). If you’re feeling like you are saying No to everything, then you probably are. Try to find a balance and see the bigger picture.
You don’t mention how old your child is.
I don’t see the harm in allowing her to touch the chickens. If you’re worried about disease, educate yourself and your child on farm animal handling and hand washing. Ask the other parent how they manage it. If you live in the city, I’d be more worried about disease just from public transit, or the germs on the bottoms of shoes, than the chickens. The best that can happen if you allow your child to play with the chickens is the experience of nature and connecting with animals. That’s an opportunity. Will you give that to your daughter?
We've had animals that (*should add might potentially) carry salmonella before as pets - you just check with parents and kids before ever asking if they want to pet them. You also provide hand sanitizer and wash up afterwards.
It's up to you to instruct your child not to pet them/play with them if you don't want her to - just like if she was allergic to a cat at someone's home.
I don't understand the part about the kids taking chickens to the park with dogs there. Seems like a really bad idea overall. I would suggest your daughter not be a part of that in general - just tell her to come home if that's the plan. I would. If they are old enough to go to the park by themselves with pets then she's old enough to come home.
Have the neighbor girl over to your house to play - the chickens aren't invited.
On your turf your rules apply.
You can't impose your rules on the neighbors on their turf
It's not a good idea to play with chickens like they are pets.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/backyard-chicken-poultry-flo...
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/09/1...
Always have the kids wash their hands before they eat anything.
They need to leave their shoes at the door when they come inside if they are walking in chicken poop.
I'm kind of surprised no policeman has informed them about the need for keeping their flock at home and not bring them around to the park.
Dog owners have to scoop the poop - who picks up the chicken droppings?
It's a public health issue.
Next time you see the flock at the park I'd quietly make a call to the non emergency police number so someone official can have a word with your neighbor about keeping the chickens at home.
oh noes! chickens!
you get to pick what your kids do. if that means telling your DAUGHTER, (not the neighbors) not to play with the chickens, do so. if your daughter won't follow your instructions, then don't let her play there.
you can always tell the neighbors, should they ask, about your disease concerns. but it's on you, not them.
it's none of your business if they play with the chickens like pets (many are) or take them to the park. if you're panicking about a potential 'trauma', don't let your kids go with them.
it's just as likely that the dogs will fight with each other and traumatize your kids.
i'm so glad my kids grew up playing with animals, rolling in the dirt, grubbing in streams and climbing trees. i can't imagine being this upset about a kid playing with farm animals.
khairete
S.
