September Birthdays

My son has a November birthday, and cousins very close in age who will be a year ahead of him in school. I hate the idea of paying for another year of preschool, and he's a pretty outgoing, bright little guy - it does seem like kind of a waste.

But I wouldn't push him ahead anyway. The NYT article is a good read. Also, my older son is a July birthday and one of the youngest in his class. You can pretty much line up the kids by age to pick out the best readers and the ones with the most social skills. My son is bright, but he is nearly a year younger than his best friend in the same grade, and it shows - he tends to lag behind a few months in things like when they were moving to chapter books. It makes my son feel like he's not quite smart enough, when a lot of it is developmental advantages because of age (my son is at or above grade-level, but the fall birthday kids were 7 for the whole school year, and my son isn't 7 yet and school is out! If you think about it, they've been alive 1/6 longer than he has - big difference when you've only been talking in sentences for 3 years!)

It's not just academics, either - it's social skills, everything. My advice - let him enjoy the natural advantage of being a leader by just going along with the state cutoff of Sept. 1.

(I meant to add - if you read the article, you'll see that states with 12/1 cutoffs are thinking about changing those cutoffs, including Michigan.)

Hi D.,
I've debated this issue too about our son who has an October birthday. What has made it hard for him is that he plays daily with a cousin who was born the same year, but in August thus able to start school a year before even though they are technically 2 months apart in age. She has been attending the local public school Pre-K program, which he will be starting in the fall as she moves to Kindergarten.
I don't think there is any leniency to the rule with public schools, but you may try with private schools and see if they are able to make exceptions. In our case, I decided it was better for our son to "wait" anyway- I like that he is enjoying his childhood with a little less school structure for now and don't think he is quite "ready" yet for the classroom expectations. Reading the book "The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons From Falling Behind in School and Life" by Michael Gurian has helped me come to accept that in the long run this may be more beneficial for him.
In the fall, he will be going to Pre-K for half-days to help him transition into student mode. I don't have any expectations from it except to help him learn to sit and work with other children and follow instructions. I don't know in what part of Chicagoland you are, but I did see in the Chicago College summer class catalogue for Wright College that they offer classes for children, one in particular to prepare children for Kindergarten.

I'm in the same boat. We've pretty much accepted the fact that our daughter will be in three years of preschool! Being slightly older than the other kids does come with advantages. Her current preschool is awesome and has lots of opportunities to challenge the kids (enrichment activities). I was concerned at first, but like I said, we've accepted what it is. I'm not worried that she'll be bored at all. Find some good activities to keep them stimulated and it will be fine :)

FYI, the New York Times actually just published an article on a closely related topic - "redshirting" kids so that they are among the oldest in their classes. The link is at:
http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60813FD3...
(just view the free preview - you can get through most of it)

In a nutshell, depending on your kid, you may want him to wait another year, anyway. But if he's ready for kindergarten I know it can be frustrating.

I think when preschools say "no older than 5", they mean at the start of the school year. They understand the school district age restrictions and are working with it. My son turns 5 at the end of October so he'll be in preschool again this fall. I chose to keep him in the same park district program, because he gets a different perspective, now being one of the older kids and leading the class more. He'll get more work on the academic stuff (hopefully perfecting writing his name and drawing real things) and benefit from being a role model for the new kids. In my town, within the park district there are standard preschool classes, and then "Pre-K" preschools that are more like real school. You might want to see what's offered in all the different schools, some preschools have different rooms for different age groups, so your son could move up and it wouldn't be exactly the same.