My seven month old daughter has started with the seperation anxiety. When we visit friends and family members (that she has seen over and over) she freaks out when they hold her, or if I leave the room. She just wants her mom or dad to hold her when we are around other people! What can I do to ease her out of this phase?
I would find something that smells like you and leave that with your daughter when you are not able to be near her (it can be a blanket, a toy, or something else).
This will give her the feeling like you are near without having to be clinging to you constantly, therefore, helping ease the separation between the two of you.
What I would do is talk to these friends/family, tell them what is going on and see if they will help you in this. What you have to do....in my opinion.....is keep doing it. Let her cry and leave the room, sometimes even if you don't have to. Let her get used to it and see that you and your husband always come back.
The worst thing that you can do is come running back everytime as she will never adjust this way!@
my son started at 6mo with freaking out when he saw new people, even people he knew. He had to have about 20 minutes of watching and being near other people before they were "allowed to touch or even talk to him" My husband and I are both very outgoing and to have a child afraid of everyone was diffantly interesting for us. As he got older, (around 2yrs)whenever we were out, we made him use his words to answer questions such as his name, what he wanted to food at a restaurant to the waitress. He felt safer I think because we were there when he had to 'talk'. Now, he is 14 yrs and relates very well with adults and we are always commplemented on how mature he is and can communicate well with adults and has since he was about 3 1/2 yrs. I was also a SAHM so, he was with me or my husband always at that age. Your son will get past this phase too and onto something else. :)
This is perfectly normal - even though it can be annoying and even embarrassing. All my kids were clingy to me and one still is, even though she is 14. Most of them still don't like being around people they don't know and avoid strangers - even though nothing bad has ever happened to cause this fear or discomfort. My oldest, who was so shy some thought he was retarded, grew up to be a performer, perfectly comfortable in front of large audiences and on TV in front of millions. But he's still uncomfortable talking to people he doesn't know. So I think it's really more of a personality thing, and as they grow older, they adopt their own ways of dealing with it. They learn what is socially unacceptable behavior (as far as being afraid of strange people and places) and find ways to adapt and get through it without embarrassment - such as always going places with a sibling or friend, or just sucking it up and doing what has to be done. My youngest child did a 180 and became very independent and was able to order from McDonald's by herself before her older sister could bring herself to do such a thing. What you will find interesting is when your daughter is a pre-teen and is with another child who has the same problem and they have to face an uncomfortable situation together. One of them will be forced to take the lead, which is helpful to both. One gets the pride in handling it and the other sees that someone just like her was able to step up to the plate and do what had to be done - and lived!
One thing you might consider is easing into the visit/transition. It can be a bit overwhelming t come into a room and have a bunch of folks come at you for hugs and to sit on their lap. Even if you know them. Consider asking folks to let you all come in and get settled (with her sitting on your lap if needed) and warm up to folks for a little while. They can talk to her and interact with her and let her get used to them a little while and hopefully she will be up for approaching them. Once she does they can engage her a bit and it will make it easier for you to leave the room, eventually. Don't do it right away or she might get a little uncomfortable. (Also, don't sneak out, calmly tell her you'll be right back then do ome back.) Good luck!
i would try to be patient...it's just a phase, but if she's not comfortable (even though "we" think she should be) forcing her away from you will not help the situation. try to spend enough time that she starts to warm up and is relaxed enough that she'll go to other family members...it might just be that she's in a phase where she isn't going to want to be held/played with by anyone else for now. she'll get over it! good luck :)
There's not much you can do but wait this phase out. Sometimes if you smile really big, and show your daughter that you REALLY like the "strange people" it will help her warm up a little faster. Most babies go through this around her age. Have patience, she'll outgrow it.
