Seperation Anxiety - Hays,KS

I agree with the idea of the calendar to mark off.
Kids have a very poor sense of time, and it passes slowly for them. You can use a calendar and talk about "10 more wake-ups before they come home" and things like that.

Some children do much better if you don't talk about it way before it actually is time for it to take place. They worry about it and get all upset because they can't deal with the idea. When the time actually comes if you do some of these suggestions she should find the days go much better than expected. I'd do the calendar and the gift a day from the parents is a big help. Some little thing that she can open to be reminded they haven't forgotten her is a big help. Then be sure to keep her busy talking, doing, reading, playing and go places to get her mind off of it too. You don't have to go somewhere expensive but just don't sit and let her think about it all day. I would guess in a few days she'll be adjusting and still counting the days, but hopefully much better. Do you know any children her age who could come and play for a bit? That would help too maybe.
Have fun.

I made my daughter a flip book with pics. I also wrapped a few small surprises like window clings, color book etc. for my daughter to open and do with grandparents. I wouldn't talk about it this soon. A day before when they are packing is when they should talk to her. Be very positive about it. Ask her what fun things she wants to do with you so she has some say. Also, try to stick to her schedule bc I think children find comfort in familiar and since mom and dad are gone she needs stability. Try to be empathetic and tell her you miss them too, but they will be back soon. Good luck. I know it's hard on all parties involved! Bless you for helping out.

You keep reminding her and it's causing her anxiety. Most kids don't keep track of time so stop talking about it. If you don't make a big deal of something, she will be fine. I believe it's stems from your anxiety and kids can sense that.

To a three year old "10 days" might as well be "10 years". .. they have no concept of time. Reassure her that mommy & daddy are only going away for a short trip and will be back. Can you make fun plans that she can look forward to? Can her parents promise to bring her back a present? (It can be something they buy beforehand). Would having a picture of mommy & daddy next to her bed at your house help? Is it possible for you to stay at their house so she'll at least be in her own environment? Some grandparents like to do fun things with their grandkids that parents might not do....give them candy & treats, take them out to eat or to a fun spot...the zoo etc. Bake cookies together. Take her to the library. Take her to a toy store and let her pick something out. Can you have some ritual things you do every day when she's with you...certain song you sing when she wakes up, marking the calendar for when mommy & daddy come home, fun dessert after lunch -- make messy ice cream sundaes. Maybe let her make up a funny story with you about all the things that Mommy and daddy are doing on her trip that she wouldn't want to do....Mommy and Daddy went on a trip. They are cleaning toilets and eating broccoli and they have to brush their teeth every 10 minutes. Can the parents call every day, or would that create more trauma? When I was two, my parents and brothers went on vacation and I stayed with one of my dad's employees. I was a terribly shy kid. The lady's husband tried to bribe me to talk to him by taking me to a candy shop and letting me pick something out, but I wouldn't tell him what I wanted, so he bought candy corn, which is not what I wanted. Ha! I still give my parents a hard time about it, but I don't have any lasting scars. Maybe go to the library and ask the children's librarian if there are any kids books that address the topic.

Kudos to Chris D! Excellent suggestions.

Take these ideas and make a 'trip' of your own. "Just for grandkids." The calendar idea is great but put pictures on each day of what YOU will do with your granddaughter. Cookies on the 9th, picnic on the 10th, etc. Maybe plan a special celebration party for when mom and dad return. It might be traumatic at first but make it fun for everyone involved!

Have your grand daughter's parents reassure her that they will be coming back for her. One thing a friend of mine did was they made a little calender and let their niece mark off the days and the last day said in big bold letters, "Mommy and daddy comes to get me!" and it really helped.

If she spends enough time at your house before the trip, she'll relax and calm down. She just needs reassurance. Good luck!

Make sure she understands that this is only for a few days and that Mommy & Daddy will be back. We had our son when our daughter was almost 4 and we had told her that when the baby came she would go and stay with Grandma & Grandpa. She loved staying there and had done so many times. As it got closer to the time for brother to be born, she got resistant to going to Grandma's and at one point cried until we came to pick her up, which she had NEVER done. We finally figured out that she thought she was going to have to live with Grandma & Grandpa permanently after baby brother came. Once we explained that it was only for a few days while the baby was being born and then she would come back home with Mommy, Daddy and her new brother, she was OK with it. Your granddaughter may think that Mommy and Daddy are going away permanently. They can reassure her by letting her know she'll just spend the night with you for a few days and then Mommy & Daddy will be back to take her home. It's funny how kids interpret the things we say. She may just be misunderstanding the situation in her mind and things will be better once everything is made clear. Good Luck!!

Sorry, but my suggestion would be to stop talking about it!! My kids do so much better with as little advance preparation as possible. They both suffer from anxiety - my daughter much more so. We learned early on not to stress her out with "too much information!" And she adjusts a lot quicker to new situations when she hasn’t had to worry about it for days. Good luck and enjoy your granddaughter!!

You've had some fine suggestions. I hope you will also simply acknowledge her feelings, whether they be nervousness about losing her parents permanently or missing them terribly. When we try to talk kids out of strong feelings, they may become even more uncomfortable and anxious. Let her know the feelings she has are entirely normal, and ask her what she would like to do to feel better. It might even be just crying for awhile. Assure her that the feelings will pass as soon as she's ready, and that they are okay.

My parents used to tell my brother and I that there were no kids allowed on the vacation they were going on, and that grandma and grandpa were going to take us to a special place for only grandparents and kids. Usually we went to Sea World in San Diego (that's where they lived). There was so much going on, and it was so much fun we generally forgot about the stress that mom and dad were gone. The calendar and flip book ideas are great too. My grandma was very artsy so we created a scrap book of our trip everyday to show mom and dad when they got home...not much to show if you are crying the whole time, so it will inspire her to fill it. The other genius thing my parents did was they wrote us post cards; one for each day they were gone. They left them with my grandparents so that we thought we were getting mail everyday. By three your granddaughter should understand that mail is a way to talk to people, so this may help her feel connected. Maybe you can send her a couple post cards over the next two weeks so she get's the idea!

Good luck!