Seperation Anxiety ????

Hi C.,
I am a mother of four 2 boys and 2 girls my sons are 2 and 5 and my daughters are 6 and 8, and all of them went through this. So we started a new system of preparing them for me to leave. We talk about what will happen what they are going to do and what I am going to do and we discuss when I will come home. After a couple of times of doing this it became a lot easier for me to leave. I have a five year old son and he cant tell time but we use other ways of figureing time. For example I will tell him. I will be home when you get out of school because he knows that is 11:15 even though he cant read a clock he knows when school gets out I will be there. Just an example of how that works.

My little one has started that as well. I give her a hug and as much as I hate to do it, close the door in her face. A second after I leave, she is fine.

As for the morning coming to your bed. I just scoop her up and let her finish sleeping until I get up, or if she stays asllep, til she gets up.

My daughter SCREAMS sometimes when I go to leave, but as soon as I close the door she is quiet after about 10 seconds. Also, since he is 5, have you tried asking him why he is getting so upset? He might be able to tell you and then you can try to soothe him....

hi!

im a mother of three. the first thing i would do is sit & really rack my brain about any new activities/events/people/dream that could be causing this behavior. my daughter started this when she started at a new daycare. what i did was i made my daughter a calendar (she couldnt totally understand) but it made her feel better. i would highlight for her the time i leave and when i come home & have her daycare show her on her calendar when she asked or starting getting upset. it worked for us.

If he never did this before then he's now doing this? Then theres something happening that he realy don't like. But he knows when your there it doesn't happen. I would Take my son to daycare he would go right in with no problem. Then one day he started grabing me and crying and didn't want me to leave him. I didn't understand why. He never did this before. They said there was this kid that was picking on him. They been trying to stop it. Well I ended up taking my son to a new daycare. He was fine then. Try to get him to tell you why he needs you to not leave. If he wont tell you get someone that you think he might open up too.

Dear C.,

Well, he's a kid. and he is developing his own individual personality, and part of it is going through this senario. He will quit, you just have to continue to reassure him, and let him have his fit. My son used to rush the screen door when I would leave. My sister was there to take care of him and he was in his own house and I was gone for just a while, but he really put on a show. So, it happens.

The most important thing is your reaction. You need to be reassuring and sometimes you will have to just leave and leave him crying. I did and he grew up to be a reasonable person.

C. N.