My almost 5 month old has anxiety whenever I leave and it's affecting my husband so much that he's threatening not to give me a break! Ahh. Basically, I'll go to the gym or out for a couple of hours every week. My daughter, who is super happy, will freak out and be inconsolable for the first hour. Once she realizes that momma is not around, and not coming back any time soon, she'll be a perfect angel again.
This is a new thing for her, the last two weeks, but it appears to be getting worse. She starts daycare in two weeks, so I'm hoping that helps. Any advice? I don't coddle her during the day and usually only hold her when feeding or playing, otherwise she's content to be on her playmat. Thanks!
play peek aboo. Also, I would pop around the corner and pop in and say peek aboo. Then I would disappear longer and longer.
It is very normal, the one thing though is you just need to try and understand you are not being mean leaving her. She will be fine, she will get used to you coming back and it will pass. Also, don't sneak out, kiss her goodbye and tell her you will see her soon.
Try when you are at home leaving the room where she can hear your voice or peek a boo. Your husband has to give you a break and he just needs to deal with it too, part of having kids. Kids go through seperation anxiety a few times before they are four and it is normal.
P.S. At five mos there is nothing wrong with coddling, hee hee. I don't think I put my daughter down until she was crawling!! :)
My son is 4 years old and he still has separation anxiety sometimes. It is just a normal process they go through. My son is with me most of the time because dad is working and going to school so when I leave him with dad it is the same way crying but he soon gets over it. I will tell you that when you take your child to daycare she will be the same way. I noticed in the beginning with my son, he has been going since he was about 6 or 7 months old that he would cry when I left. It made me sad and feel bad that I was leaving him crying. But if you linger it will only make things worse. I have watche other kids being dropped off and they will cry and make a show for mom or dad and then once they leave they are totally fine. I won't lie, it will be hard but she will always know they you will be back for her and will be excited when you pick her up. Good Luck.
It's probably a stage. I wouldn't worry too much
my daughter is the same way. i don't remeber her not having seperation anxiety. just know that crying isn't hurting her and she will be fine.
You baby feels safe and happy when she is with you, and esspecially when she is nursing. When you are not there and she is expected to drink from a bottle that does not feel the same as your breast she is upset because she doen't have that safe and happy feeling anymore. It is totally normal, and it is a really difficult transition for any baby. Try to be understanding with her and give her extra attention when you are at home. Don't just leave her on her playmat, take full advantage of the time that you have with her to cuddle her and sing to her and talk to her and nurse her! Don't even try to give her a bottle yourself, she is smart enough to know that you are the one with the breasts and she will feel cheated if you give her a bottle instead of nursing her! Let her Dad or babysitter try to give her bottles instead of you. She will get used to the bottles eventually but she will always prefer the real thing! Spending more time cuddling and nursing her will not spoil your baby or make it harder for her when you are gone, just the opposite in fact, she will feel more secure and although she will still cry when you are gone she will start to understnd that you will alway come back to her and spend more time with her so she will start to accept your absences better.
M., I think you also asked a question about your daughter not wanting to take the bottle with breatmilk in it? The two might be related. At any rate, she will eventually grow out of this but no promises as to how quick. It is good that she settles down after a while, and the time it takes should get shorter. Things may get better at daycare since daddy is more of a reminder of mommy than a day care provider. Make sure that where you are taking her understands baby's temperaments and will deal with her crying appropriately. It also is essential that she have a consistant care-giver, or maybe two - couldn't tell if this is a home-based day care which would be a consistant caregiver or a center. If it is a center, look into their turnover rate, the lower the better so she doesn't have to adjust to a new person every few months.
This is normal. I work in day care and I see this a lot. It will get better, but it may take time. Just tell your husband to hang in there and to not take it personal. You need that break so dont feel bad for leaving. I dont know if I have much advise. You might try giving her one of your shirts or a blanket you've slept when you leave. Some times just your smell is comforting. She might be too young yet, but perhaps a favorite toy or song could be used just when her daddy gets her. ( One of the anxious kidos I took care of seemed to settle down if I sung a certain song) The good thing is she does settle down eventually so after awhile she should take less time to settle. It may get a little worse after daycare, but keep telling yourself it will get better. Good luck and hang in there.
When you put her in daycare don't worry so much, it took a friend of mine 2 to 3 months before the child git used to it. Are you sure shes not gassy try some mylicon for the tummy. Start playing peek a boo wit her to get her to learn cause and the effect. I hope this helps and gl.
My daughter went through this very same thing. She would scream if I even left the room! I had a hard time even going to the bathroom without her freaking out. I was with her everyday since the day we brought her home from the hospital. And because I was breast feeding she wouldnt go with anyone but me. She is now six months old and I just recently started working again, full time. I left her with the sitter for a few hours everyday the week before I started my new job so she could get used to being without me. It was rough at first but once she realized that I was coming back for her she got used to it and as the days went by it got easier and easier. There are other kids there for her to play with and she loves it now! On my lunch hour i still go feed her but she is doing great taking the bottle and sippy cup! I still feed her at night and in the morning before I go to work. Dont get frustrated because this to will pass.
I don't think much will change when you put your daughter in daycare. I think it could possibly get worse. I didn't have this problem with either of my kids partly I think because I am a full time mom, and my husband worked 4 12 hour days then had 3 days off when our kids were babies, so we were both always around. My husband's schedule has changed over the years, and they miss him more now. However my son went to Kindergarten with a boy and a girl that still went through this. The boy would cry for the first half hour of class, and then just wouldn't really participate much for the rest of the day. The girl would just have her certain days that she didn't want to do much because she wanted her mom or dad. They both seemed to get a little better by the end of the school year, but every child is different, and you just may have one of those who really likes mommy to be around. I certainly wouldn't think of giving up your breaks. You need those. It may help if your husband puts her in a stroller or one of the carriers he can wear and takes her for a walk while you are gone. Once you start working and going to school your "me time" may change. You will probably need to be around your baby every second you get because she will miss you, and I bet you will miss her.
