S.T.
Sounds like my son - who had me in tears many times as a pre-schooler and in his primary grades. He was the most fidgity kid (still is), he had real trouble concentrating, he was in the bottom 2% of reading ability in 1st grade, his kindergarten teacher would throw her hands up and say "I don't know what's the matter with him" (she was an idiot if you ask me). His first grade teacher told me at the first conference (around this time of year) that I should have medical issues checked out and then rule out ADHD. I asked didn't teachers think that all boys have ADHD? I was in tears when I left that meeting. (His 1st grade teacher was a wondeful wise woman - what a blessing she was!) We had his hearing and vision evaluated by pediatric specialists then I took him to a group affiliated with the local children's hospital (Schneiders on Long Island). Within 40 minutes and a computer test he was able to do on his own, they diagnosed him as ADHD. Here I was in the waiting room of this children's behavioral health office with kids who were really out of control - nasty, some were hitting their parents, etc. I thought the world was collapsing around me - I thought I did something wrong in my pregnancy, in his toddler years, etc.
I took a deep breath and I prayed. I asked God for guidence - do I just throw drugs at my kid? Do I take him to a shrink for the rest of his life? Would he ever learn how to read? A child psychologoist at my church just so happened at this same time to offer a class for parents regarding children's developemental stages, difference in learning styles, etc. This saved my life and my sanity. She said that there are different learning styles - some kids can sit peacefully and learn anything (me, my daughter) others have to touch things while they learn (the Montessori method uses this approach - kids handle a "textured" letter while the learn the sound it makes), other kids have to be in motion while they learn and others do better when they're simply standing up instead of sitting.
My son happens to learn best while he's in motion - and he does well to touch thing also. We learned his letters and sight words while throwing a ball back and forth, when he got the spelling right he'd run a lap around the kitch, living room, dining room. We'd stand up to read sometimes, we'd take turns - he's read one paragraph, I'd read the next. We tried different things to discover what worked best.
Another thing - there are different kind of "intelligences" - schools teach and test for languange and math skills primarily. But some kids are good at music or art, others have amazing people skills, some are great athletes, others are experts at spatial skills (buildling, engineering, etc.) So you need to study your child and figure out what he's interested in and what he excells in - then encourage those things too outside of the school environment.
There's a lot of online resources - but there are also great books - two authors to look for are Mel Levine (A Mind at a Time and others) he also has a website that's a good starting point. Another is Cynthia Tobias - I can't recall the name of her books but also excellent about learning styles.
Many of the most successful people in business, arts, science, politics, etc were kids with ADHD and/or learning "disabilities". My son, now in 6th grade, did learn how to read (YAY!) his special ed teachers were amazing - I worked with them and with him and he still gets special services - he gets classes with an extra teacher to "push in" for help (as oppsed to "pulling out" the kids who need help), he gets resource room 3 days a week - they help him organize his work flow, and he still gets reading - which is called, interestingly enough "multi-sensory reading program". He just got his first report card in middle school and he missed honor roll by less than 1%. What a triumph for him! We are targeting honor roll next quarter. My son is on medication for the ADHD and although he wasn't crazy about it he now knows it helps him focus.
My son's skills are math, spatial perception, athletics and people. The kid has a tough time reading but he's got a huge circle of friends, he can build anything - so we encourage lego, k'nex, etc. he plays sports year round and helps other kids with math. We tell him that he can be an engineer and build bridges or building or he's be a great sales person or any number of things. He has a kind of intelligence and street smarts that is head and shoulders over his sister who is on the honor roll all the time. They are just different kids.
Once you find your boy's special skill and help him address the areas he needs help with you'll see him blossom before your eyes. Talk to his teacher about how he learns best, request testing if he struggles in any areas. You know best - you're his mom, his advocate and his best cheerleader! GO MAMA!