Self-sabotage

Im with ya!
My husband bought me a treadmill and yahoo I hopped on that sucker fir two straight weeks, cut way back on eating and stopped smoking. Good right? Then the pms monster struck. I didn't even look at the treadmill and I ate 3 times a day. Weekend came and I smoked 3 cigarettes after 3 weeks of not smoking one. Loser!!! So I was feeling major sorry for myself. So, I jumped on the treadmill and did 2 miles today. I felt so much better afterwards! Stop beating yourself up and jump back in there. Only you can ultimately make yourself feel better! You gained some back, so what? You've done it once you can do it again!

Okay, Justchillin, you and I can make a promise to each other tonight. TOMORROW we will both exercise. Deal? I didn't walk on my treadmill today or yesterday. I went to an exercise class yesterday, but that wasn't enough.

I have made the excuse that I've had people working in the house for the last 3 days and haven't wanted to deal with them walking through while I'm sweating or looking uncomfortable. But the truth is, they don't care! And I shouldn't either.

So... I promise to not self-sabotage - promise with me, how's that?

Spidermonkey, how about you? Want to do it with me tomorrow too? We can be an exercise support group to stop self-sabotage!

Dawn

I think most humans who are wishing to change something significant in their lives probably suffer attacks of self-sabotage. I sure have, many times.

I have realized it doesn't help to start labeling it as laziness, complacency, or other negative characterizations. Those just depress me and eat away at whatever determination I have to be kinder to myself. For me, it's far more effective to think of the old and the new as each having its own hierarchy of needs. Needs are all valid, but they don't all carry the same weight (no pun intended).

So I will list the needs (at least mentally) being expressed through an old habit that is trying to reassert itself. I give it some time, let my mind run over, under, around and through to make sure I have as many needs listed as possible. Then I do the same thing for the new.

Some items on each list are pretty evenly matched in importance, which can create quite a bit of tension. When this pull is unrecognized, one particular need of the moment has a chance to stage a coup. For example, "comfort," right now while I'm feeling tired, discouraged, lonely, whatever, might trump better health, more energy, a happier me, when I look in the mirror next week. There's a lot of power in "now."

But if you have the lists of needs firmly in mind, you can often shift your attention back to the needs you have projected into your precious future, and pull them into "now." And at the same time, you might realize that a cup of hot tea with a spoonful of honey, or calling a friend, or some other back-up plan, may work nearly as well for your immediate need for comfort as a pint of Ben and Jerry's (or your temptation of choice) consumed in front of the TV.

Does this always work for me? Nope. I'm human, and sometimes I'm tired and unmotivated. But one day's failure does not have to undo a week or three of effort. I forgive myself, decide whether I will carry my new list forward tomorrow, and then do it. (And by the way, for me it's not a decision to "try" to do better. It's a decision that I "will" move forward assertively. "Trying" accomplishes very little, because there's a built in failure button just begging to be pushed one more time.)

Wishing you success, one moment at a time!

You have to BELIEVE that you DESERVE good things in your life. The best best advice I can give you is to start looking for books that help you to change the way you think about yourself. Barnes and Nobles has a great self help aisle, you can look through the books and find the one or two that really speak to you. If finances are an issue your local public library should also have a nice selection. You also need to keep repeating to yourself:
"I deserve this..." . If you keep telling yourself that you deserve a nice looking body, healthy relationships, a good job, a nice place to live ect you conscience mind will convince your subconscience mind that it is true and then you will just naturally start to work toward the goals you have set for yourself.
And as always doubt and fear will creep in and you will stop going for those goals. When that happens ask yourself 'what is the worst that can happen'----really think about it. Usually you won't be able to come up with a clear danger as a result. It's the fact that yor life is changing for the better and change is scary

Good luck --YOU CAN DO THIS!!! :-))

No sympathy because you know you are able to lose the weight. I encourage you to be as fit as possible. To me this does not mean one must starve in order to get control over their weight or be as skinny as a rail.

I'm not so keen on the weight loss programs, that promise everything as long as you keep buying their products and attending some meetings each week or more to discuss your "progress".

I am in favor of having a good friend or relative, that know you well and will be supportive in your efforts to be a "better you".

Blessings....