Seeling Advice About My 4Yr Olds Sleeping Habits

hi T.,

my son has ocasional night terrors and oddly enough they are due to overtiredness. His started when he was 6 months old. I would keep him up til late, because he wasn't sleeping through the night so why should he go to bed earlier....well then he would have these night terrors!i had taken him to the dr before i knew they were night terros because i thought they were his ears(he had cronic ear infections). The dr told me he needed to start going to be earlier and on a regular schedule. Since then i have been putting him to bed on a schedule and he has not been having them. But when we would get out of routine he would start them again.

as for the misbehavior it is simply because he is tired! I am trying to get my son down to one nap a day(he is almost 2). When he is overtired he has no ability to listen or stay out of trouble. I see this and put him down for a nap and he is usually out before i leave the room.

so i guess i would try a routine of the same bed time at night to solve both problems. the besy way to move bed time is to move it earlier by 15 min each night!

good luck

Check out 2 books written by the same person:

"Sleepless in America" and "Raising your spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

She has sound advice for parents experiencing what you describe. As you read you will find there are alot of factors that cause children to do this... a big one being diet among other things.

You can find her books at Barnes and Nobles and www.amazon.com.

While I'm not a mother who resorts to medicating my child for every thing, I urge you to talk to your son's ped about Melatonin. It naturally occurs in our systems, but it will help regulate his sleep cycle. I've not had experience with night terrors, but my 5-yr-old would play/fight bedtime for hours until I found out about this from a friend. My ped said it was fine to use. He gets under 1/8 oz each night and its worked wonders for us. Bedtime is 1/2 hr max -usually 15-20 min each night. I purchase the stuff from a Vitamin/Supplement store and it comes in cherry form that I add a little water to and it tastes just like juice. Best of luck.

T.,

I think the mom's here all have great advice. I have two very busy boys ages 6 and 8. When my oldest was between 1 1/2 and 2, he started bedtime troubles and night terrors. (with his nap I couldn't get him to bed until 10 or 11pm and it was getting worse) After speaking to me Pediatriction he told me to cut his nap, and create a regular schedule. Not only at bedtime, but during the day time too. It took about two weeks, but I had a whole new child. My oldest is very very strong willed and sleep seems to play the biggest part in his behavior. I will give you an example of the schedule I took.

We have dinner between 5:30- 6:30 pm. I let the boys play from 6:30 to 7. Then they have there bath, PJ's, brush teeth, and say good night to DAD. Then from 7:30 to 8 we read stories. One tip I learned was to read slow and yawn a lot when you are reading your stories. It makes them tired! (you too but you can fight through it). My kids have a night light and a CD player. We say our prayers and I kiss them goodnight! I whisper in their ears "sweet dreams, sweet dreams, lots and lots of happy dreams, dream of all the fun you will have tomorrow" If we have something special planned I tell them that. (ex. at grandma's) Then I put on some soft lullaby/dreamy music and leave their rooms. The CD automatically shuts off at the end. It worked like a charm! Bedtime should be fun and relaxing.

Let them sleep in until the wake on there own. It will help them set their own body clock. Once the bedtime is the same a morning routine will follow in a week or two. I have one child that gets up at 6 am and one at 7. They still get up at the same time after all the years. Then we do breakfast at 8, have snack around 10:30 (something small), Lunch around noon, snack again at 3:30 and dinner again at 5:30 or 6. It is a schedule that works great for us. I do keep to healthier snacks and cut back on the sugar. It made a HUGE difference in behavior. Don't get me wrong they still get their cookies, but not everyday. Healthy snack Ideas.... Cheese and crackers, salami, ham, chicken bits, fruit, pudding pack, carrot sticks etc. I usually do fruit at the 10:30 snack and try to have protien at my 3:30 snack since it needs to last longer.

Since your little one is younger I would even start bedtime right after dinner, so they get to sleep between 7 and 8. I know you think I'm crazy, but it works. You need to catch them before they get too tired or its harder for them to fall asleep. I had no faith when my doctor suggest it, but I did it anyway and it saved my sanity!!! Good luck!

T.,

My oldest had night terrors. Overtiredness and stress can trigger them, so the longer your son stays up, the more likely he is to have them.

First he needs to be put on a regular bedtime schedule. He should be in bed by 8-8:30 in the summer at the latest. Use a black out shade to darken his room and take out all the toys and books if you have to. Eventually he will learn to go to bed earlier than 2:30 in the morning. Make sure he is getting up at a reasonable time, too. The whole house will suffer if you wait until the week before Kindergarten starts to teach him to get up in the morning.

To address the night terrors, you need to tweek his sleeping pattern just before the night terror. Go into his room about 30-60 minutes before he normally has a night terror and wake him just enough to alter his sleeping pattern. This is usually enough that he won't have one.

Good luck,
S.

The other mom's are correct T., he needs a regular bedtime that is EARLY - 8pm.

1. You can help to achieve this by making sure his room is dark (no outside light coming in), so go get him some navy-blue shades first off.

2. Read out loud to him while he lies in bed, but not picture books... only CHAPTER books: Charlotte's Web, Winnie The Pooh, Stewart Little, Little Bear, Francis.... Read quietly and sweetly these very sweet stories that will capture his imagination but help his brain to slow down and relax.

With beautiful stories about friends he loves to lull him to sleep, as well as a regular early bed time, his night terrors will stop and he will finally sleep through the night.

Then, take Nicole's advice and read Raising Your Spirited Child... you will find this book as amazing as your son is.

If he continues having night terrors now and then:

3. There are some WONDERFUL sleep aides for kids that are non-habit forming and non-toxic. Slip in to a health food store or co-op and look for any of the following:

Calms Forte
Moon Drops

They can be sucked on as you read to him in bed. The will completely eliminate his night terrors.

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book is very helpful, "Sleepless in America." You might also consider consulting a sleep disorder clinic or sleep specialist. I think there is one at the University. Otherwise maybe talk to your pediatrician for a recommendation. It's normal for kids to act up when they are overly tired and your son must be exhausted. I've been through the sleep terrors; they are no fun. They will also get worse if he is overly tired. Good luck.

I have a question. Do you then let him sleep until whenever he want to in the morning? If you do, I would stop doing that and start waking him up. I would wake him up a few hours earlier than what he's been sleeping in till. Then hopefully that will at least get you back to 11:30.

First of all, have you taken him to the Dr.? I had a daughter who developed nightmares (during the day) and it turned out that she had epilepsy. The nightmares were a type of seizure.
So, I would begin by taking him to the Dr. to see if there is a medical reason that he is having the nightmares.

Have you thought about having him tested for allergies and food allergies? He may have an allergy to wheat and gluten or dairy. I have heard a lot of people that have these similar issues and it has turned out that they have food allergies. You would be amazed at the kind of problems that food can cause.

I can't help, but I want to let you know that you are not alone. My daughter is 4 and does the same things!!! I felt like you were writing about her, so I will be reading your responses. Good luck and hand in there. I love her, but it is getting to be very draining.

T. - like the other mom's have said - he needs an early bedtime with a regular bedtime (and perhaps daily) routine. You might also try reading the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". It talks a lot about the importance of sleep for kids and how 'sleep begets sleep.' in other words - how an early bedtime will actually help your son sleep better and longer.

GOOD LUCK!! My 2 yearold son only occasionally has bad dreams that wake him (and me) up momentarily, but I know how frustrating it is not sleeping because we had a REALLY hard time getting him to sleep thru the night. The frustration is compounded because YOU are so tired.