T.K.
Hi J.,
As your sister in Christ, I think you're right to want to trust Him with all aspects of your life, and we know that the Lord doesn't want us to have these issues that pull us down and fill us with guilt type feelings. I think you're on the right track there. Here are a couple other suggestions/encouragement I want to share...
The "dieting" mentatlity is such a quick fix - it never sustains healthy weight over a long term and it sets us up to feel like failures! If your insurance allows it, I would suggest being referred to a nutrisionist for some real-world advice. That sounds severe, but it's just help from someone who has made it their career to help people with their nutritional habits. You already know part of the problem - we have such a major issue with portion control in America (most all of us)!! He or she could help you pin point other downfalls which would enable you to realistically stay on top of things in a much less painful way. Sometimes we don't know our food issues because they're such ingrained habits we honestly don't realize they harm us.
I also want to tell you that as you add exercise to your schedule, don't forget to do some resistance training. Just counting on cardio is never as successful as when we add resistance. Some women are scared that they will build these manly muscles and look bigger, but we just don't have that hormonal make-up to create huge muscles. We do, however, change the shape of our body (which you will really start to enjoy) AND the added lean muscle mass boosts our metabolism! Muscle is "hungry" - it requires more calories even when it's relaxed. That's something we don't want to deprive ourselves of! This doesn't have to be major weight lifting by any means. Sometimes even our own body weight is enough resistance. I do reccomend having someone who knows what they're doing show you the "hows" and "whys" and help you with your form.
For women who are just getting into working out, I've heard excellent things about the "Curves" gyms. They're geared towards women who don't have tons of time (which with a baby, I know you don't) and they're said to be a very positive and helpful atmosphere.
I'm so happy you have love and respect for your body. I'm happier still that you trust our Lord! I think you're on your way to creating a happier healthier you and setting a healthy active example for your child all the years to come!
~ T. K