Seeking Sleep Thru the Night

you know what? I know so many moms who hate the whole "cry it out" method.. but it really doesn't last very long.. My son is only barely four months old, and I find that sometimes it's okay for me to just let him cry it out, and he has a HEFTY cry too. (I'm deaf, and I can STILL hear him)... It lasted 6 minutes and he'd put himself down, I also recommend that you get one of those crib musical things that light up and softly play melodies.. not like a mobile, but rather one that you attach to the side so that the baby can look at it while laying down. My baby LOVES that thing, and once I hit it, he's out... it does take some time, but believe me, it's WORTH getting some sleep.. Also, have you tried putting her down, and while she's crying, act like you're asleep? I used to do that with my first one, and when she'd look at me asleep, she'd automatically fall asleep.. it works like a charm with some kids, and some it doesnt... Try it out and let me know how it works for you, Remember, don't feel guilty about letting her cry it out, it's not being a bad parent, it's teaching your child skills to comfort herself, and in the long run, she will be happier and more secure in her abilities to soothe herself and you will definitely be happier too. She might sense that you are afraid to let her cry it out, and she does it simply because she knows she can. Babies are very smart at that age.. and just tough it out... unless she's like teething, I find that it's still okay to sleep with her.. you can't spoil a baby under one years old, no matter what they say.. but you CAN get them used to the habit, and you want to really try to break them of it without making her feel insecure or anything.. just simply let her know you're there, and you will come back.. First time she cries come back, pat her a few mintues.. even if she's crying, and tell her night night.. and leave the room... then wait about 6 minutes.. try it again, but DONT pick her up.. she'll learn.. Keep us updated okay??
S.

I have a child who was the same way. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping , hey that's the only way I got sleep those early days. The cry it out approach doesn't work for everyone...me included. There was one book that was a bit helpful No Cry Sleep Solution. Hey you probably could use a mid-day nap too, I'd take advantage of it while you can! Can you wear your baby in a sling while she is napping? Best wishes, don't use the cry it out if it doesn't feel comfortable for you!

She is young enough that you might try buying a shirt wearing for a day with your usual routines but don't wash it then put it on one of those body pillows. Lay down next to her until she falls asleep then place the pillow very close to her so she can smell it and then slowly shorten the time that you remain lying there until you have replaced you lying there with just the pillow and see if she won't transfer that "security blanket" feeling to the pillow. If not you are probably right that it is because of the breast feeding and you may have to wean her from feeding during naps. One way I was able to get my children out of my bed was after they had fallen asleep I removed them to their own bed even if they returned. As soon as they were asleep I put them right back in their bed and after they woke up in their bed a few times it didn't frighten them as much, then I got them to fall asleep somewhere else the couch my lap where ever and as soon as they were asleep put them to bed in their bed, after a few times of that as soon as they were very tired I lay them in their bed but stayed close so I could rub their back and talk softly and quietly to them, ea time moving further away as soon as I laid them down. I know it sounds like a lot but it is gradual not sudden. Also create a bedtime routine 1/2 to 1 hour before bed no matter if bed time changes every night the routine will not and that will signal to the child it is time for sleep. Try a warm bath with lavender or chamomile, and some soft pajamas, a favorite doll or toy and then sit and read to the child or sing or rock or something until the child becomes sleepy, then lay them down in their bed and walk away but stay close (earshot not sight range) just in case (it is ok to let them cry but if wailing occurs do the last thing you were doing until the child falls asleep)if you shorten that last thing a little bit every night (down to ten minutes or so) the child will learn after this I must go to sleep. Most children will become sleepy and lie down to rest(that takes the place of mom or whatever other "security blanket" the child uses to unwind and prepare their brain for sleep. We all have our own routines we don't just look at the clock and say oh I have to go to bed crawl into it and fall sleep. So why do we expect that of our children? Good luck and God bless. K.

Hi B.,
The cry it out method only lasts about 1 - 2 days. My PED got after me for holding my little one until she went to sleep and told me I should be able to tell her it is time for bed and lie her down.

I allowed her to cry for about 2 - 4 minutes and then picked her back up for 1 minuted, put her back to sleep. I repeated that for several times the first night, then the second night for only a few times, then after that she would just roll over and go to sleep. At this point (19 months) she will at times cry or cling on to me and I just talk to her and tell her she has to go to sleep and to call me or daddy when she wakes up and we will come get her. It works like a charm!!!

Hi B.,

I know you don't want to hear your baby cry but in order for your baby to be fine by herself, she has to know that it is ok with you that she is by herself. You will be doing yourself and your baby a HUGE favor by letting her comfort herself and put herself to sleep. It was one of the hardest things we had to do, but we knew it was the best thing for all of us. My fiance was very happy too that he didn't have to share me with the baby in bed. I know you can do it. Just think of what you are teaching your baby by doing this, it will make her more self-confident when she is older.

Good Luck
M.