Seeking Sleep Advice for an 8 Mos Old

It sounds to me like she may be teething. When my son was teething I felt like we reverted to newborn times as well. If her gums are a little swollen and keeps chewing on things this may be the case. Before bed time if you give her some Tylenol it may help.

M.,

As a mother to 3 boys, I can tell you that letting them cry a little longer than 20 minutes will not hurt. Giving in too much can definitely create problems as my husband has found out the hard way with our 5 year old. You need to draw the line somewhere. If she isn't thirsty or hungry, she may be teething try to see if that is what is going on and then try some tylenol for the discomfort that she is feeling. You need to get your rest or you are not going to be any use to your family or yourself. Let her cry it out a little, it won't hurt her. After a couple of nights she will realize that it isn't getting her anywhere and she will more than likely give up after a few minutes and go right off to sleep.

Good luck.

S.
34 y/o SAHM to 3 boys

Hi M.,

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 7 months old, ughhhh..... I finally "truly" let him cry it out... I personally don't think there's anything wrong with it.... For the first 2-3 nights he cried for about 40-50 minutes and then it got less and less... I know it's hard to hear them cry but if you go in there to let them know your there it will only make them cry more because they want you to pick them up.... I promise you, it's hurting you more than your daughter..Now, my son sleeps 7pm-7am STRAIGHT (knock on wood). Good luck and be strong!

I wonder about the teething as someone else mentioned. There are Highland teething tablets that were helpful for some of my kids. They have them at some Publixes or at health food stores. They're all natural with stuff like camomille(?sp). Also, if you could try and go to bed early yourself a few nights a week, you might find this less stressful. The babies can sense when we are stressed and she may be picking up on this as well. I did a "Ferber" approach with one of my kids, can't remember how old she was. When I went in I "never let her see me sweat" so to speak. I tried to be calm cool and collect, say some compassionate things, like, oh dear, you're having trouble sleeping" and then I would lay her down and rub her back. She would reach for me and that was truly hard but I had decided to give this a 4 day try to see. I would do the wait thing, go back in in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, so forth(I think-it's been awhile) She did learn to settle herself but it was hard.

So, you are the one to decide what's best for your situation. Good luck and remember, this is a phase that she'll grow out of now matter what. Listen to your mother's heart. You're doing a great thing on taking a poll here as whatever path you choose, try and be confident with it as your little one will sense if you're uncertain. Also discuss this confidently with your hubby. Get him on board with whatever path you choose because it does effect him as well. And he can be your best supporter or your worst underminer. We as moms tend to research these things out and then I would try and share a "condensed" version for my husband so he felt included.

And if one method doesn't work, try another.

Take care,
LaurieK
www.mymonavie.com/LaurieK

If you are completely against bringing the baby into bed for short stretches of time, have you considered moving her crib into your room while she goes through this rough patch? Perhaps when she wakes up and sees you she won't be so quick to be upset. At least if she gets fussy you'll be right there to hear her starting, not once she's already full blown miserable.
Alot of dr's don't recommend CIO for good reasons. It can be harmful in younger children. If a child is too young to manipulate, their crying is simply their only way of expressing themselves. She might be teething, scared, lonely, or just wants her mom. I choose to instill confidence in my child by letting her know mom will be there no matter what. I firmly believe we train dogs, not children. They are their own person and they need to be allowed to develope at their individual pace. I'm a crunchy mom though, and not everyone will agree with my parenting style.
Hope you get it figured out soon.
E.
P.S. Here's an interesting article on CIO you might want to read.
http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

Honestly, when my kids had trouble sleeping we just let them sleep with us. When your child needs you the most, the best thing is to be there for them even MORE! When you pull back, they get more desperate for you. Good luck with and keep in mind that this too shall pass.

Hi M.,

I think that crying will be the only way to teach her to get back to sleep. When she wakes up the first time wait 30 minutes to go get her. IF she is still crying after 30 minutes, go get her, comfort her, make her she is ok, feed her, or give her whatever she needs and put her back to sleep. If she wakes up again wait another 30 minutes. You should do this everytime time she wakes up. This was told to me by my pediatician that has been praticing over 30 years and all the nurses in the labor and delivery recommended him to me when I gave birth. The nurses take their kids to him. I followed this routine with my then 2.5 month old and I don't have any sleeping problems anymore. He is now 7 months. Babies need to learn to get themselves back to sleep and to soothe themselves. Well good luck, I hope this info helps.

Y.

Hi M.,

It sounds like your daughter is probably going through her separation anxiety stage. I personally don't think letting her cry for more than 20 minutes at a time is the best way to go. It's just heartbreaking and you really don't need to. If she is anxious, this will not help either. You should definitely check out the book, Solve your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. It's a progressive waiting technique where you start off waiting 5 minutes and then go in to her for about a minute and let her know you are still around but you don't pick her up and then it's 7 minutes then 10. So she's knows you are there so she can be comforted but you are not picking her up so she is not neccesarily rewarded for the crying. It will probably take just a few days. I tried this when my daughter was 4 mos old and she has slept 12 hours all through the night ever since. She goes to sleep on her own with no help from me, just tucking in :). It is very nice. She is also going through the separation anxiety stage right now (she is 9 1/2 mos) and I've been wondering if she would start waking at night for me. So far, not yet but if she did I would use this "progressive waiting" technique again. It just made the most sense to me and it worked! Good Luck!

When I had a problem similar to yours, I bought a cuddly & super soft stuffed animal; and placed it in my sons bed only at bedtime; and made a show of how cute, sweet ect this animal was. he couldn't wait to sleep with it; and it took my place thru the night. It may or may not work, but I also used this method (soft doll baby) with my niece when she was a little older. It worked for her too. Still does. Good luck and I hope you find a solution! God Bless you & your family!
Kathy

I'm not against 'sleep training'
but I am into
'gentle' sleep training
check out this list of great books :-)
(I did my 'own thing' but have read about various gentle methods on the different online forums of which I am a member and also learned different methods from my baby groups at a local hospital)

http://www.thebabywearer.com/cgi-bin/bookshop.pl?locale=u...

My sister-in-law had great success with the No Cry Sleep Solution book. It is a more gradual approach to change and takes some commitment, but as the name implies, it's less traumatic for all because there is less crying involved. Good luck!

Hi M.. You must be so tired.. I remember that feeling well! If your child was sleeping through the night before this for an extended period, and you have ruled out hunger, dirty diaper, and any medical issues, what about teething? Both of my kids were great sleepers until they started teething. My doctor gave us pain medicine for it and that seemed to help some.
However, they did get "off track" during the night so I read a few books about how to re-train a baby to sleep through the night and my husband and I committed to a plan. It took 2 nights of lots of crying but it made all the difference in the world.
I actually saw a Supernanny episode about this and it showed how difficult it was for the mom to hear the crying. Babies at 8 months are really smart- parents have to be committed to the same plan. And a well rested mommy, daddy and baby makes a much happier family!
Getting through those couple of crying nights can be difficult- maybe get help from a close friend or family member during those nights. I weaned my nephew while his mom slept in my house because it was too hard for her to hear him cry. He was drinking from a cup the next morning.
I wish you lots of sleep:) H.