Seeking Parents of Sons and Daughters Getting Married

Hi,

I don't have a child getting married but I do know what I wish someone would have given us as a gift before we got married. About 2 years ago my husband and I took a Finacial Peace University class through our church. Boy do I wish we had know all this stuff before we got married and caught up in the lies and wrong thinking of society and buying on credit. I really wish we would have saved some money for a couple of years to have a nice down payment on a house. It is the best class I've ever taken! It opened the lines of communucation about money and got us on the same page! I can't express how much of a blessing it has been to our marriage. I've given books to friends and family who have gotten married since we went through the class. The book is good but the class is WAY better. Find a class in your area and sign them up TODAY! They will thank you for it!!!
www.fpu.com

Dave Ramsey's University is great...my mom gave it to me and my hubby, but I would also suggest the book (which I don't know if it comes with the university box...mom just passed on the dvds) called Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover (you don't need the workbook as all the pages in the workbook are already in the back of the book), but the book by itself is fantastic! We are just starting the University program, but I have read through the Money Makeover book previously!

My hubby and I have been married for almost 6 years and are onto our 2nd house and are ready to be out of debt, but it took buying our 1st house and financing a sprinkler system and house repairs on a credit card before we realized how much debt stinks (we never had student loans before that as we were both full-ride scholarship recipients), but I don't know how we would have taken the gift at the time of the wedding.

Perhaps, because I am thankful that you are looking out for your kiddos' future and because in hindsight I wish I would have seen our full financial picture before buying houses and cars and the such, get them a small gift to open at the reception or with the other gifts...and then at a later time, maybe at the one month anniversary or when they start thinking about cars, houses or adding to the family, pull out the other gift...maybe attach a $100 check to start them off in the savings account or start them a retirement account...and offer to sit down and show them how YOU budget as a married couple (my MIL just offered that for me...sadly, too late...wish she would have offered years ago!). Make it a later present for a "just because I care" time rather than a wedding gift!

I'm on the child end of this. My parents have given us many books and advice on finance. They have shared their experiences with investment education classes they have taken, etc. Some of the books we read, some half-read, some are still sitting on our bookshelf unread. I think the reception of a gift such as this depends very much on your kids' interest in improving their financial knowledge. If they are currently not very interested in finances, they are not going to use your gift. They will just figure finances out from experience. But when they are ready to learn, having your advice and willingness to pay for financial education can be very good. I would follow their cues. Personally, I would not have appreciated a gift like this for my wedding. I would not have even paid attention to it for several months, maybe even a year later. Good luck! And good for you for looking out for your kids like this!

As a financial planner, I don't think it would be used unless it was a live class or meeting with a qualified planner. Generally, it's not a priority for newlyweds unless they have a need, crisis, or personal connection with someone who's offering their services. You have to know what they want before they are motivated to take any action. I know it should be, but it's just not a reality.

We didn't go the Financial Peace University (mainly because we aren't affiliated with a church) but we've found Dave Ramsey's books to be extremely helpful, especially Total Money Makeover. I think the other commenters are right that unless your child is interested then they will not take much from it. But maybe if you also sent them a link to www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com and ask them to sign up for the free trial they will listen to some podcasts, check out the forum, read other people's stories and preview the budgeting tools/process. Then they might become more interested. On a personal note, we stick with the books because we can't afford to pay the site subscription.

As others have said, Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover is an amazing book. My husband and I started in September and just paid off our first credit card. The book was only like $14 (I didn't want/need the rest of it, at least not now), even though, I did buy some of it, I have yet to read it. I don't know your relationship with your son/daughter, but if this is a conversation that you happen to have a lot, or even just occasionally, I would get the book (maybe even read it yourself, so you can talk about it). Then when the subject comes up, mention this easy to read (it really is) book that had some really great information in it. Loan or give to them at that time.
I bought the book for my mom and sister. The problem is convincing someone to read it, neither of them have, and they both so desperately need it. Even my husband took A LOT of nagging. But, once he read it, he was just as excited as I was to start.
While I'm not sure if it would be a wedding gift, I think that starting the marriage with the right financial mindset is very important. If they like the book, and want to do the university, etc., you could always offer that as a gift, but it might be a waste of money right of the bat, if it is something that they aren't interested in.

I also would recommend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. Taking the class would be good, but if you just bought the kit it has all the CD's with the audio of what they would see in the class. I loved this course because it had great information, was easy to understand, was VERY motivating, and was even entertaining, so it wasn't a chore to listen to each week.