Hi Vickie,
I'm not to familiar with RAD, but I am with ADHD, I'm 34 single mom with 11 yr old son, My heart goes out to you, Kids are challenging and a mystery to me, I was just browsing Barnes&noble.com and typed in Reactive Attention Disorder, a book called "From Chaos to Calm" came up, so I read the reviews, It scored High Ratings, Maybe its something that would be helpful to you, I am a Love & Logic parent and maybe that's something that might also help, check out www.love&logic.com Parents and Schools are on the Love & Logic system all over the U.S. I took the 6 or 8 week classes (I can't remember how long it was) and I bought the books "Parenting with Love & Logic�, and "Parenting Teens with Love & Logic", I noticed they have one for Grand Parents too. Love & Logic has definitely saved my sanity. But I think I'm going to buy that "From Chaos to Calm" book, I think it could help our family.
Good Luck to you.