Seeking Other Moms with ADHD Boys

Updated on January 26, 2010
P.B. asks from Clearfield, PA
11 answers

I am seeking other moms who have a son/ sons with ADHD.

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So What Happened?

I appreciate all of the responses! It makes me feel better knowing that I am not the only mother in this boat...if any of you would like to stay in contact, my email is ____@____.com.

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M.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have a step son who has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I am questioning whether he also has ADHD but no diagnosis has been made by a professional.

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W.P.

answers from Sharon on

I have a son with borderline ADHD, he was diagnosed when he was about 6 years old. What helped with him was behaivoral therapy to teach him how to discipline himself and how to calm himself down when he gets too excited. After graduating from behaivoral therapy, he (& you)will have the tools he needs if he has an ADHD triggered eppisode. Usually it is something that he gets excited about or another child who has ADHD (& is out of control/not learned the calming/self discipline skills) triggers him. He will have to learn how to remove himself from what has got him all wound up, calm himself..then he can come back to the room. There are some good books out there too on how to live with ADHD without medication & based on behaivoral therapy alone. I will not lie to you and tell you it is easy thing to do. It is not an easy thing to do, to teach an ADHD child self discipline. It is a ruff road & persistance is vital. A daily routine is best for an ADHD child & any varience from it can cause an ADHD attack. An ADHD child needs stability to maintain self discipline. Otherwise they get too excitable & you know the outcome of that. They are just so excited about something (or high strung as old times would say), that an ADHD child just needs to know & learn how to discipline themselves. If we do not know how to teach them, then we need to seek out the help to be able to help them. I chose not to medicate my son (even though a lot of others where pushing for just that), because medication just basically puts a bandaide over the issue..not really solving the problem. I asked myself this question, what if my son grew up & the medication he needed he could not afford to buy? or what if something happened that he would not have the medication he needed available to him? How would he get by & cope with adulthood/ his life? That is what lead me to behavioral therapy. It is the harder, more difficult road..but in the end..now my son has the tools he needs for the rest of his life & he does not have to have any medication to live his life. He has his ADHD under control. Also do not expect things to completely dissapear, whether medicated or if you decide to go with behavioral therapy..there still will be times he will get bad ADHD attacks from over stimulization. Medically they would increase the medical dosage to bring him back to where he needs to be. With behavior therapy having been learned (coping skills), he will have the self discipline to just need to be reminded to remove himself from the situation to calm down (whatever the technique he learned that works for him)& then can come back to what ever it was. Hope this helps..

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Sharon on

My 13year-old has ADHD,OCD and is bipolar.........
If you'd like to talk let me know

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A.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 14 yr old son is ADD, and my 10 yr old son is ADHD-hyperactive type. Every day is an adventure! I'm in Exton. you can e-mail me anytime as well! ____@____.com

A.

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T.M.

answers from State College on

My 8.5 year old son is ADHD (also ODD/bipolar). I was absolutely against medicating him because I didn't want to crush his individuality or have a zombie child when he's such a strong headed, creative, unique person.

But one rainy day, it was just me & him at home. He wanted to watch a movie & snuggle on the couch. I agreed, he chose the movie, we got some blankies... and he never stopped moving, fidgeting or talking. I realized in that moment that he never really experienced a quiet or peaceful moment. I LOVE reading, watching movies, staring at a camp fire, etc. - my son could never enjoy any of those things. So we started a long journey of meds.

Another compelling reason to continue medicating him was one morning when he dropped his ritalin but didn't notice (this actually happens often, so we have to be very careful to watch him take his pills). He went to school and was, of course, all over the place. His teacher gave a spelling test and my son's test was atrocious. The handwriting was beyond awful and he misspelled most of the words (what could be read anyway!). He then took his afternoon dose from the nurse's office and the teacher decided to re-do the test after lunch. OH MY GOD. The difference in the two was insane! It was literally like two different people had taken the same test. The writing was legible and the words were 98% correct (he also has dyslexia).

I'm sure ADHD has been over diagnosed and over prescribed. I'm also sure my son does NOT fall into that category!

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N.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi P.,

I have a son who is 6 and was diagnosed with ADHD when he had just turned 4. I struggled with the question of whether to medicate him and decided to give it a try. He has been doing great, and our relationship has improved too. I would love to hear more about your situation and share my experience. I live in Woodbury, NJ and my email is ____@____.com.

N.

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F.H.

answers from Sharon on

I have an 8 yr old son with borderline bi polar and ADHD. I myself have the same symptoms so getting hlep has been benifical for both of us. We have also decided not to medicate becuase some of these syptoms can become a blessing if chanelled right. I also have some friends who have medicated and their kids can't walk or talk properly and their growth has been stunted.
We have and are working with a thepraists. We limit TV and computer time to only a few days a week or his symptoms get worse. He loves to do crafts so we encourage that and we try to get him out enough to exercise.
Personally I think hte schools are not set up for boys and that discourages me. They work all day with only 30 mins for lunch nad one recess and gym once a week. That is not enough I feel for energetic boys especially when they are sat at their desks for so long.
I recently met a grown adult with ADHD. He and his parents decide not to medicate too. His dad would make him work in his construction buisiness every summer or do some tough heavy work when he was getting out of hand. For him it worked. He is now a really hard worker and excells in eveerything he does. He is albe to spread suchj a positive energy wherever he goes.
You really have to control the environment these children are in wheter you medicate or not. Avoid clutter by minimizing what you own and keep things orderly especially places you expect him to be able to focus.
We are having success with his hyperactivity through adequate sleep (10 hours a night) and nutrition. Also we are using coping techniques we have picked up.
The focus we are still trying to get to the bottom of. He does better with sleep etc but there is still some focus lacking. Becuase he is extra bright he has been able to catch up thus far but he may not be able to do so in 3rd grade where the work is harder so we'll have to wait and see I guess.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

My 21 year old son had ADHD and ODD growing up. My 13 year old has mild ADD.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

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A.P.

answers from Johnstown on

my son who is 4 has a very high energy level, anger issues ( not to others just himself) and sensory disorder

E.C.

answers from New York on

my 7 year old son has adhd compounded by conduct disorder and oppositional defiant behavior... im a single mom of 2 (daughter is 5 and a breeze to handle). i am looking to establish an online support group to share experiences, frustrations, and of course our guilt...

:)

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J.W.

answers from York on

I have an 11 year old son and a 13 year old daughter... both with ADD/ADHD.

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