C.W.
Dear Angie-
You have gotten some very good advice (as usual) from some of the members here...
I just wanted to share that I had twins born prematurely in 1996. One twin also had severe congenital heart issues (HLHS). That, in conjunction with her prematurity, caused the docs to declare that Shannon was 'incompatible with life'...HA! It was/is a LONG road with her...and TRUST me, when I finally got her home from the hospital after 3 years and one week...on a vent with a trach...with feeding tube...and told she would never walk or talk...I was PETRIFIED of her! We had nurses for some hours of the day, but even when they were there (and especially when they were not) I would watch her and just be afraid.
Slowly, over time, she shed the various technology. Improvements in medical procedures and various drugs now available for the pediatric population have helped. She does have a pacemaker now...and it is reasonably simple surgery. We download it via phone periodically...and 'tweak' it with the cardio/physicist. It will need a battery replacement in a few years.
I guess what I am saying is that at SOME point on this journey I decided to not be afraid anymore...and let her live! Keeping her room and existence like a hospital was not really living. I let her attend regular kindergarten with her twin (we had done home bound for a while)...and she remains in public school now. In fact, will make the transition to HS this fall...Who knew?!
I still worry about shannon...as I do ALL my children. But, at some point I realized that I cannot predict the future of ANY of my children. And I made the decision to embrace each day as the gift that it is...for ALL of us.
I strive to make shannon's life as as 'typical' as it can be...and it is! I wish you peace with this...combined with great medical intervention and compassion from the medical community...
Private me if you want to talk
Michele/cat
PS
I am writing a book about this journey...the working title is "Compatible With Life"...lol...
And shannon IS!