Seeking Napping Advice

Updated on October 27, 2008
R.G. asks from Gig Harbor, WA
23 answers

My 2 and a half year old daughter has always been a wonderful sleeper. This past summer she started sleeping in a big girl bed. She has done great in it up until this point. This past week she has started refusing naps. She climbs out of bed the second I leave the room and makes a big mess of everything in the room. I have tried everything to get her to stay in bed for naps. Nothing is working. She does not seem ultra tried at nap time, but by 7:00 she becomes a terror from not napping. She sleeps 11-12 hours at night. She still seems like she needs a nap, but I am tired of battling with her to get the nap. I need my time away from her as well. Thoughts...She cannot be growing out of naps already!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter quit at 2 (my 4 year old was still napping for 1 1/2 hrs!), and (long story short) after all the frustration of trying to keep her in bed, I gave in and gave them up and the world became a happier place!

You'll find there are benefits to being able to go out or make afternoon plans!

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

By the age of three, children do not need daytime naps to regulate their nighttime sleep. You can put her to bed earlier now:)

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K.I.

answers from Spokane on

R....

It does happen...Both my boys were done napping at 2. I would just try quiet time like has already been suggested. If you want to try and curb the mess making in her room what about saving coloring time untill then. Also I notice that both my boys need a snack ____@____.com really cut down on the mini meltdowns, in the afternoon. We love yogurt at my house and thats what they usually have or sometimes we have a couple grahm crackers and a glass of milk. You know something small without to much sugar.

K.

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K.C.

answers from Portland on

We have been having the same problem with our 2.5 year old. Some things that have helped is waking him up earlier (about 30 mins earlier). We have also started reading a story and doing some quiet time before nap to help him unwind and relax. Though I admit it hasn't made naptime a guarantee, it has helped. The other thing I have started doing is letting him play in his room, and just ignoring any non-urgent cries. It helps if you have a baby gate in her doorway. We actually removed the door on the kids room and just use a baby gate. Its helped me to keep an eye on them but also keep them in their room when I need a break. Of course make sure the room is completely kid proofed if you do it.

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

My son did the same thing, especially after we moved him into a toddler bed, and he could get out of bed by himself. I went through TORTURE trying to get him to go to sleep.

Instead of torturing myself, I put up his pack-n-play...for the crib was long gone...and told him if he got out of bed, he'd have to sleep in it. He climbed out of bed, of course, and he was very angry when I put him in the pack-n-play, but he couldn't get out of it, and he was tired, so he fell asleep. It only took him a few days to know I meant business, so he stopped getting out of his bed, and he went back to naps.

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M.C.

answers from Seattle on

We just got rid of naps for our three year old a few months ago after fighting her for nearly a half a year and I am so glad we did. Night time is so much easier now. for the first two weeks I would say she struggled to make it the whole day and about a hour to two before bed was begging to take a nap but after those two weeks she has no problems staying up the whole day but will on the occasion fall asleep playing (it is way to cute...LOL)

Best of luck!

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A.D.

answers from Corvallis on

She can grow out of naps at anytime. (they never bother to ask us if it would be conveinent for US do they?)
If she is cranky at night put her to bed. "Cranky children go to bed early." "Maybe if you had a nap in the afternoon you wouldn't feel so cranky so early at night." "The choice is yours." "Would you like to try a nap tomorrow?" (Child answers "yes" or "no".) "Good night Sweetheart, see you in the morning." She is no dumbie, and you don't have to play the game. A nice firm, consistent, set of perameters will help both of you deal fairly and without a lot of emotion to the situation. Explain to her that this is the way it will be and then follow through. She may push but ultimately kids love the security of firm boundries. And don't worry, she IS old enough to understand!
Oh, almost forgot, she needs to clean up her messy room. We had to remove about half of the toys from our kids rooms for this to be a realistic goal but now they don't go to bed unless the rooms are clean. (this requires some training on how you want it done) If they have the ability to get it out they have the same ability to put it back. (make sure the room is set up so this is possible,ie. no high storage places or things they can't move or lift and so on)
Happy Training!

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E.T.

answers from Portland on

I have a daughter of 13 months, but one of my good friends has a 4 year old who has to take "quiet time"....instead of "naps." Basically she has a choice of "reading" books, drawing in bed, listening to music in bed, or playing with a few toys, but needs to be in bed, and alone. Often she falls asleep on her own. I think if you make her have a choice, and call it something other than "nap time" maybe she would respond more positively? Just a thought. Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter stopped taking afternoon naps when she was around 24 months. She wasn't tired during the day either, and by 7pm she would be ready for bed (sound familiar?) At first it concerned me, but her pedi assured me that each kid is different, and some outgrow naps sooner than others! She went down very easily at 7pm and would sleep a good 12 hours every night. After we all got used to her new routine, it was fantastic, as it gave my hubby and I a nice long evening by ourselves.

She's 3 now, and we're still on the same routine without any problems. HTH!

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C.G.

answers from Seattle on

I know this isn't what you want to hear....but all of my kids stopped napping at 2! Sounds like you're past that stage. Good luck! The next phase is really fun though!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

No more naps, mom. The message is loud and clear. Mine stopped napping at 18 months. I cried, because then I couldn't nap!

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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

My son did this also, but he was a little older. I would set a timer and let him know that he could get out of bed when the timer went off. Most of the time he would fall asleep. After about 3.5 I had to put the timer up where he couldn't reach it but it worked until he was 4 or so. He also had a gate on his room. I usually set it for 30 min. but if it looked like it was going to take a while or I needed an extra few min I would set it for a little longer. The ticking kind worked great because it would help him go to sleep. I would also reset it if he got up before it went off. Just check to see if your little one is asleep, and take the timer out before it goes off or it could wake her up.
Good luck, and God Bless nap Time.

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

See if you can get her to take a "quiet time" instead. Maybe look at books, work on puzzles, or listen to music quietly in her room.

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S.L.

answers from Portland on

Well mom there is only one thing I can say, you can stop the long night sleeps, for one week just keep her up one- two hours longer then get her up an hour earlier each day and do not look at her asleep and say should I let her sleep, wake her up as if you were going to go some where and needed her up, then, go on as a normal day, then as the nap time hour comes try to keep her as busy as possible, until she looks real tired. then maybe you could go back to your normal hours she is getting older more active in the mind she needs to be worn out with your help or even find a sister of yours or someone you can trust to play the mom role for a couple time a week while you just go out for a couple hours to relieve some stress it will do you both a lot of good or the sitter for you and dad to go out a couple times a week, S. L.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

My daughter stopped taking consistent naps before she turned two, to my horror. I tried doing the thing where I made her, but like another mom said, our afternoons were much more pleasant when I stopped doing that. For quite a while we did the "quiet time" in the afternoon, which we did together.

I guess I just wanted to say that she's likely outgrown the naps.

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S.J.

answers from Spokane on

Hi,
It almost sounds like I could have written this........my 2 1/2 yr old daughter is doing the same thing. I tell her it is quiet time. Sometimes she falls asleep, but most of the time not. If not, maybe give her some books to look at quietly or some other option so she can have some down time. Make sure she knows that whatever it is, it must be quiet and stay in her room. I don't mind when my daughter chooses not to nap because it means I have at least an hour to hour & a half of me time plus she is in bed by 7 pm at the latest......sometimes 6:30 pm.
Hope this helps!

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J.T.

answers from Portland on

R., your little one may just be out of nap-mode. Are you able to put her in her room with some books or quiet toys for a while? I used to tell my kids that Mama needed a time out, and that they needed to stay in their rooms for a while. I had little or no fuss from them. It was a pattern that I tried to keep going. That way they were used to the routine, and it was no big deal. I always tried very hard to make my kids' rooms comfortable and inviting for them. They have always liked their rooms, even when going to their rooms was the result of naughty behavior. Good luck!

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

R.,

Sadly, it sounds like she is outgrowing her naps. My son in 5 now, and I don't remember the last time he took a nap. One thing that worked for us, and still does sometimes is just insist on quiet time. For a while we played a CD of soothing music that lasted about an hour. He didn't have to go to sleep, but he had to stay in bed, be quiet and listen to the music. If he was still awake at the end of the CD he could get up.

Unfortunately that doesn't work anymore. So our Plan B is that he has to stay in bed, no playing, but he can read his books. He's been reading independently for about 6 months now. That way he's mostly quiet, gets some down time and I get a break from his diarrhea of the mouth.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

The other thought I forgot to add: Don't force the nap issue if she flat out refuses to sleep during the day, but move her bed time earlier. Before, when my son still occasionally took naps his bed time was 8. Now, most nights he's snoring against my shoulder by around 7:45 or earlier.

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter tried that around 2 yrs old. Her behavior indicated she still needed a nap. We removed all play items from her room and darkened the room. We also had to do the put her back in bed twenty or more times. After a few days she would stay in bed and fall asleep for a nap. Every once in a while she tests us (me) again, but for the most part nap time and bed times are really good.

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L.A.

answers from Seattle on

I'm sorry to say she's probably outgrown naps. My daughter did this way before we switched her the the big girl bed. We leave her for quiet time and I'd say out of 7 days she might sleep one or two - but less and less frequently. So I'm not ready to give up the quiet time. As for the mess - we don't have a lot of stuff in her room but she can pull every single book off the bookcase and have no interest in putting them back. She uses her quilts to build houses and has way too many stuffed friends to entertain. Be grateful for her quite time and enjoy listening to her banter - it is really fun to listen too.

We did try to wake her earlier - but that proved to be a disaster so she was in a bad mood all morning.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

R.,
Welcome to the world of parenting. ;-) Our now 5yr old stopped napping at 2yrs also. Same issues. He wasn't tired and toward 5pm he became a little devil. He quickly EARNED the nickname of "LITTLE MONSTER". (Satans' child) By about 5:30-6pm he was so tired that he would fall asleep for a couple of hours in his grandpas chair. This was awful because then he would be up late and sleep late. What my hubby and I figured out was that he was no longer a napper and that he needed tons; and I mean tons of sleep. (If he didn't have kindergarten this year, I would be a wreck.)

This is a super tough time and what we did was ask ourselves, "is he hungry or tired?" For him, he needed both. My husband would feed him, give him a bath or shower and read him a book in bed. This helped me tremendously because it gave me a "mommy time out" and I didn't have to feel like I was the only caretaker. (We have two boys)

Learning how to read your child can be difficult, but from your request, you have completely figured it out. You might also try feeding her more. Oatmeal or rice cereal helps kids fall asleep and keeps them asleep longer. Try this at night and put her to bed early. (6:30-7pm)Since she requires more sleep, going to bed early won't change the time she wakes.

A mom I know has 3 children. What she used to do at night was put them in the car and drive around for a little bit to get them to fall asleep. This might help you at nap time. What I did at that time was put on PBS (Ch 10 in our area), give our son snacks and I would nap in the same room. This year, our son is still a little challenge, but tons better. I give him lunch, he does homework or an activity book and sits down to play quietly. That gives me time to rest in the SAME room so I can function after our oldest gets home from school.

Being a mom is the most difficult job in the world. I have been in your shoes twice and thought that none of us would make it past 3yrs old. I had to look forward and see that other mothers went through the same thing and they survived. Growing out of naps creates an exhausted mom and a frustrated child from being tired. Try to help her with words to describe how she feels. This too will help with the battles. She knows something is wrong but doesn't know the words to describe how she feels. Help her. (Frustrated, hungry, tired, angry, etc.) This helped us too.

I wish you the best of luck and a future of peace and "mommy time outs".

Many blessings.

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H.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi R.,
I have a 2.5 year old daughter as well. Just before she turned 2 she started refusing naps. I found for me fighting her in the end was harder than just having her go to bed for the night between 6:30 and 7:30pm.

The hard part for me was dealing with my own feelings about not having that break in the day, I would just get so upset that she wasn't taking a nap the stress of that got to be too much for me.

Now, I just go about the day planning things for anytime and if she happens to fall asleep (she does sometimes) then she does and goes to bed a little later that night. But when she goes to bed early I get the whole evening to relax. When she sleeps 11 or more hours at night she does ok without a nap and any less she will be very tired in the afternoon. Now she sometimes does admit when she tired and it's much easier to get to to sleep at night.

I know quiet time can work for some people, but my dd is just too independent for me to force something like that.

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

Maybe try getting her to go for "quiet time" instead of a nap. She can have a few books and toys to play with, but she has to stay in her room.

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