To those out there one how may think thy mite help me. I have a teen age child how has dyslexia which is a inherited problem. He is smart but has problems reading and expressing him self. He loves playing bask ball,track and other sports. It really helps him cope with life. What I'm having problems with is one Child how makes life extremely difficult. I have went to the school and talked it over with his resource teachers. But I was wondering if I should go to his mother how attends are Church. But she seams snobbish and inapproachable . Do you think this is a good idea are am I asking for trouble for my child and me ? C. J.
Hi C.,
You might call or email the International Dyslexia Association - Rocky Mountain Brabch (IDA-RMB)
IDA-RMB
PO Box 46-1010
Glendale, Colorado 80246
###-###-#### voice mail
###-###-#### fax
____@____.com
The bible says to go to our brother if we have a problem. But in this case where the son is being hurt and may be picked on more because of the confrontation, I suggest that you talk with either the Pastor or even the Pastor's wife, have them pray with you on how to handle the situation and then go to the mother, maybe have a tea party or something like that to make her feel less confronted. If the mother truly is that way, the child is reflecting her examples. Maybe teach your son to pray for that boy, be friendly even when he is being hurt. I had my daughters do the same thing with some friends that were just down right mean to them. One or two turned around and were nice. It made my children stronger and able to see the meanness in this world. A wise woman said to me once "You get farther with honey, than you do with vinegar" I used that technique once on a woman I worked with that was so mean to me no matter what I did. I saw that woman last summer in the same setting and she handled me with the greatest respect this time. It was nice.
Quite possibly seeking the advise of your older children may be helpful. They can give advise to your son about how they may have handled situations like that when they were his age. What a blessing to have older siblings that have been there before. It isn't easy dealing with a bully but if you give your son the tools to cope, it is easier to change how he handles it than to change a child that isn't in your family. Pray that the bully's heart softens with your son, pray for favor with your son, pray for the mother of the son. Sometimes praying for your enemies does wonders. I will be praying for your son.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to the M. and be as kind as possible and explain the situation. If she is a snobby terrible M., than that's to bad, Karma will get her someday, but how will you know if you don't try?
15 yr. olds are touchy creatures. I would ask him if he wants you to talk to the mom or the other student or the principal. He might not want you to say anything and will work it out himself. In the mean time, be there for him and listen to his problems. He is just learning to cope with lives problems and will appreciate you being there for him.
C. B
C.,
Your son is entitled to go to school in a safe environment. If he is being bullied, or made to feel uncomfortable in any way, it is the school's responsibility to help you fix this situation. Go to the resource teacher, his regular teacher, the principal, whomever it takes to fix the problem. Ask for an IEP team meeting to discuss ideas and options to put into place for your son. Also, have you thought about alternatives to a public brick and mortar school? There are several very good online accredited public schools in Idaho. I know about them as my son, who has autism, is enrolled in Idaho Virtual Academy. It has been miraculous to see the progress he has made because he was taken out of an environment of bullying and put into a situation where he could really shine. There are options out there for you. Also, my son attends sessions at the Lee Pesky Learning Center. They specialize in reading disorders and difficulties. Perhaps they might be able to help your son with his reading problems as well. Hope this helps. B. B--mother of 5
I know this really isn't an answer to your question, but have you taken your son to a pediatric optometrist? They have discovered that many many cases of dyslexia are eye problems that can be fixed through vision therapy. A pediatric optometrist will have a great deal of experience in this and knows how to determine if this is the problem. I wouldn't recommend seeing an ophthalmologist first because they tend to look at surgical options first rather than therapy options.
If it is classic bullying then I would go back to the principal at the school. That should not be tolerated. Then let the school call the parents. I would strongly suggest you get to the bottom of it however for your son's sake. You are never asking for trouble for speaking up for your child!
If the lady at church seems like a snob, your instincts are probably good to tell you to stay away. Most schools these days have anti-bullying rules, so it should be simple to get some help from the school so that child is not allowed to act that way anymore.
In my experience the more adults that get involved the worse it gets for the kid. I was being verbally picked on at school by a group. When my parents found out they went to the groups parents. The next day the group tried to physically attack me. They were very angry at me because they got in trouble with their parents. The same thing happened when the teachers got involved. Is the councilor at the school good? Some make the situation worse, but others can help the other student see what he or she is doing as wrong.
The only thing that worked for me is to stand up for my self and never back down from any one of them or the group. I ended up in one fight with one person, and they left me alone after that.
I don't recommend fighting or that you tell your son to, but I do recommend you teach your son how to verbally fight back. One humiliating moment for the other kid may help him back off.
I apologize for my spelling.
hello C., well i never had a child with this problem, but my husband has dyslexia. He has told me that in school he was always buulied and and made fun of. because of this he eventually just dropped out and got his ged. I think you should have a long talk with your son, but also with the schools counseler. also as long as your son is always told his best is all that is excpected, than he will be fine.
Do you have dyslexia?? Before you go to his mother you better have yourself checked first. His mother should already have read signs of dyslexia. I was diganosed as a young child and I have done alot better since.
