I totally understand what you are going through. My oldest has been diagnosed with autism, pdd, adhd, and a phonological processing disorder. My youngest has adhd, and we are going through evals. right now, possibly bi-polar too. My 10 yr. old is stuck in the middle, and she has a hard timeealing with her brothers needs. I have 3 children in all and I cannot stress the importance of a daily routine! I t truly helps them, and even better, it can be a sanity saver for you. Children with these type of problems do very well with consistency in their routines. (I know that my guys go absolutly haywire without having the stability and comfort that a routine provides). Also, is your school district involved? I know it can be hard, but having an IEP in place can be very helpfull too. if you ever need to talk, let me know. It can be a lonely world out there for mom's with special needs children. Take care.
R.