Seeking Moms Advice - Somerset,KY

Do you have a custody agreement? Is it through a lawyer or dhs? well I would get ahold of someone and get some help with this. dhs or a lawyer, I would refuse to let him have her if he is not going to do what he needs to do as a parent. Medication for a mental illness is just as important as for the heart or any other medical reason. I know I have faught with it myself, and bipolar and adhd are hard ones to deal with. my step daughter is adhd.
good luck, chris

Wow. That's not good. I can't help you with the father, but I have suffered with depression most of my life and have been identified with bipolar as well. I have been on and off of medicine for 15 years and although it helps, it is not a cure. However, there is a naturopathic cure for allergies that is being used to treat ADHD and autism as well. I believe it will also treat depression and am trying the treatment now myself.

It's called NAET treatments. You are exposed to an "allergen", given an accupressure treatment, have to avoid the "allergen" for up to two days, and then you are cured. I was having problems getting/staying pregnant and was found to be allergic to progesterone. I was given a treatment and am now 5 months pregnant. My doctor also found that I was allergic to serotonin. I was given a treatment last week, went through the avoidance period and now take liquid serotonin drops for a few weeks. I actually feel a lot better.

It is not an easy answer because it requires time and a little discipline, but it is the only available cure that I have found. My 5 year-old also gets treatments and her nightly nasal drainage problems have stopped. The research has shown that autistic children have shown dramatic improvement over a 6-12 month period, having weekly treatments.

It won't solve your dad problem, but it may solve the ADHD and depression problem. If you want more info, let me know.

Maybe instead you could just shorten the duration of time with him. Instead of going on Friday and picking up on Sunday. Take her Saturday morning after her medication then pick her up early Sunday. That way she doesn't get mad at you for taking daddy away but you are still keeping her medicated and well.
But I would talk to your attorney about this as well to see if he can't be made to do it. He may not understand the importance of that drug. I know with bipolar when you go off the medicine you tend go instantly go into a relapse.

You may have to talk to a lawyer about getting a court order requiring him to give her the meds.

I would tell him that if he refused to do what is necessary as required by doctors then you will have to find a way to get through to him even if it means take him to court over it and get his custody denied. This may frighten him enough to do something. After all, this seems to me a form of neglect, because he is neglecting her needs.

I had that problem when my daughter who is now 19 went to her dads when she was little. I begged him to speak to her doctor about it and he would not so I ended up having to call my attorney who called his and said if her medication were not given to her per doctors orders, he would have to only have supervised visitation with her so I know how you feel. Do an inernet search on her illness and medications and send them to him. He may not read them but I would hope he does not want to harm the child since many of those meds cannot just be stopped without consequenses. I am here if you need me, just email me at ____@____.com and good luck

is she old enough to know when to take her meds herself?

i agree, you might have to talk to a lawyer.

that really sucks,, because ya wish you can just not let her go over there..

I would suggest you contact an attorney and see what you can do to stop his visits. He is putting her in danger by refusing to give her these medications and I would bet that any judge who is informed of the situation would do whats best for your daughter. Maybe even just the threat of suspending his visits would get him to realize the importance of these meds. I wish you luck on this and will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

Write a letter to the judge who did your divorce. Let him know about the meds. Include a note from the doctor on the importance of the medication and the judge will order him to give her the meds or he won't get visitation! Been there and done that! Good luck! And Congratulations!

I assume you have a custody agreement which means that you can not arbitrarily stop his visitations, but you can file a petition for an emergency hearing with the court. The court can either stop the visitations until a hearing can be held or require your ex by court order to give her the medication until the hearing can be held. I have a step daughter who at two different times was put on medication for anxiety. My husband was never invited to the doctor appointments and was only told when he was picking her up for the weekend. This left him uneasy about medicating her, but he did and spoke with her mom to get a better understanding. Once she was taking Zoloft and when he Goggled it there was a listed all bad things that can happen to children since it has only be approved for adults. It would have been much easier if had been at the doctor appointment to have it explained to him first hand how rare these side effects were.

That is awful of him. I would think that as a parent he would do whatever he need to do to be sure she was healthy. I wonder if he realizes that if you were not around, that he would have the sole responsibility of sustaining her medically. Has the doctor spoken to him personally about her or has it always been through you. If not, I would make sure he comes to the next appt (or set up a special one) and have the doctor talk specifically to him (as though you weren't there) about her issues. Document everything in writting, dr.s notes, perscriptions. so if you find that you have to take further action like court, you have solid evidence of his being notified. I don't know if you guys get along well or if your basically civil for the purpose of exchange, but maybe you can subtly find out why he's not doing it. Maybe it's just not something he thinks about, because it's not something he has to do daily. Men tend to be like that. If it's not routinely there for them, then they don't think about it until after. Maybe you can make some cute little game of velcro patches that your daughter takes with her to put on the fridge or in the bathroom that says "Take my Pill" and she can pull it off when she does and put it in a pocket on the back.

I have the same problem I have a 6 year old boy with adhd and his dad refuses to give him his meds on the weekends I talked to my doc and he said that it is ok for him to fo the weekend without the meds because they are fast acting and will start working on Monday morning when I give them again. But the problem you face is that your child is on other meds too and i guess I didnt look at what state you are in but I am in South Dakota and the general rules are that if the non custodial parenting is abusing or neglecting the child you do not have to send them to the visit yes he can take you back to court but you need to document every time he refuses to give the meds. that is a form of neglect actually. U can also request supervised visits until he agrees to start giving the meds. I know it seems harsh but the children who have these problems needs structure and their meds I found that out if you can get her on fast acting meds that would help alot my son takes focalin I think it is a generic of ridlin and it works really well. I am not so sure however on the other meds she takes and I would talk to you doctor too about the effects of her not getting her meds on the weekends that will give you a little mmore strength when or if he decides to take you to court.

Well Im quite surprised that she was diagnosed at such a young age for the bipolar. but besides that, why does the father feel he dont need to give the meds? does he not agree with the fact she needs them? i do believe that failure for a parent to give a child meds that they need is medical neglect. if he refuses to care for his child by giving her prescribed meds, id talk to your lawyer. if he cant properly take care of her, then he should be allowed to spend time with her. Thats what i think anyways. my husband is bipolar and i know first hand how bad it is to go on and off meds. This is very serious! kristina

I agree with the rest, even though it sounds like it is cruel not letting her see her father, but it is cruel of him not giving her the medications that she requires to stay focused and healthy. You definately need to let him know that you will follow up with at the attorney and/or judge and inform them of this. Because in the long run, keep it under control know because as she gets older it will be harder to deal with if you don't keep close attention to it now. My husband is a manic bio-polar and when he is not on his meds, boy do we all know it. So I can totally sympathize with you.